Before it begins I am sitting with Brendon in our back row seats and Col saunters up. I am sitting chatting with B with my hand gently supporting my chin and dawning a white hooded sweater from the boys section of West 49 (it was really cold..) Calm and relaxed as Colin begins a casual convo with B, asking him about his drive and other things. I am pleasantly averting my eyes, but then C addresses me directly.
He comments on the fact that I brought my own car to work. Asks me how my carpool was that morning. I say I didn’t drive with them today. He asks why? Am I going somewhere tonight? I am being backed into a corner, and begrudgingly say that I plan on going to SJ for the night and Moncton the next.
Thoughts running through my mind at this time: he clearly already knew that I was going to be in SJ, aka Jen told Murph and Murph told him, and he was just confirming, I think he’s surprised I didn’t tell him myself earlier, and I know that he wants to hang out tonight, otherwise he wouldn’t have brought it up.
During the first break nothing more exciting happens then that he is completely 180 degreed it and is now always standing near me, chatting and flirting like nothing.
At this point I am still in no go zone. I will not be the one to tell him where I am going or ask him what he is doing, etc etc.; I am still trying to be super tough.
At lunch I yell for him to bring me cookies back from the caf when he goes. Later I walk by him, he is outside in the smoke hut and it is freezing so I just walk by him asking quickly if he got my cookies. He says “I’ve got them right here” and when I don’t stop but keep walking by, he hollers at me “I’ve got them right here!”.
I turn around and just say, “I know you’re lying!” but walk back to him anyways and shelter myself in the hut with him. Of course he doesn’t have them but he does have a Nutrigrain bar, which I steal! Yum! Then he starts prying more info out of me…asking me where I plan on going that night and who I’m going with. At first I say I don’t know. He waits, and so to avoid awkwardness I tell him. If he knew I was going to be in SJ from Jen then he also knows where we’re going anyways. I still am not bothering to ask what his plans are…
At 4pm training is done and everyone is going home. I am probably the slowest person at getting ready, so here I am packing my bag still and everyone else is gone. Everyone except Colin, that is. He is standing in our little trailer hallway looking at the door with his coat on, but not moving. It’s as if he is waiting to walk out with me, but this has never happened before…. He’s never stood and waited for me, but I guess we’ve never been alone in a situation like this. I glance over to him and, trying to not make things awkward, call him over. He is very somber, and I feel the need to lighten the atmosphere so I start chatting. (Why am I so slow at packing??) I break down and I ask him what his plans are for the weekend. He says he doesn’t have any. So of course, I cannot resist saying quietly, “You can come hang out with us, you know.” He says he could do that, yeah.
Finally I’m done, and we head out. He says have a good weekend and I say, you too! His truck is parked beside mine. He gets in turns it on, but doesn’t drive away. Meanwhile, I am putting my bag in the trunk, getting in the drivers seat and fiddling with my iPod. Plugging it into the dash and choosing a play list. He is still sitting there. He is not looking at me, but straight ahead, like he is thinking, and he has the same somber look on his face. Then I realize I need 50 cents for the toll bridge off the highway into SJ (shit!) so I have to turn my car off, get out, go to the trunk and get my wallet. I get back in the car, find 50 cents, fiddle with my music again, and he is STILL sitting there with the same look on his face. I cannot just drive away, that would be weird I feel. So I wave, and wait till he looks and then give him my coolest Tyler peace sign ever (lol…tool!) and drive away. He follows. A few cars separate us along the back road, and I lose sight of him. He never passes me on the way to SJ, which is strange because he is such a fast driver normally. I think nothing of it; maybe he’s just freaking and doesn’t want to drive by me. Who knows?
I get to Jens soon after and we do our thang. Bells can’t make it so it’s just me and her and we can’t decide whether we still want to go out just the two of us. I am relaying the tale of the day to Jen, laying face down on her bed and holding her cuddly sock monkey while she gets ready. It’s awful, but all I want to do is text him. ARRRRGH, how do boys do this to us?
I restrain. At 6:30 my restraint is rewarded. I notice my phone is blinking. I have a message. Freaking I grab my phone to check it…
It’s from Colin! I am yelling for Jen, thrusting the phone in her hand, smiling ear to ear!
What are you up to on this fine evening
Just getting ready to go out to dinner, wanna join?
No sorry just finished bbqin at murphys what r u up to when ur done eating
Um coming back here for some drinks and maybe going out, what are your guys plans
Going with the flow havin a few drinks text it up when ur done eating stop by if its cool with you
Baaaah, let the girly spasm begin! He is coming over!!!!
So me and JB go to dinner and then back home and get ready a bit. The boys, Colin and Murph, come around 10:30 and the night is, the night. We have a hilarious time watching Pineapple Express and Dave Chappelle on youtube, drinking and talking.
Immediately, his hand is on my thigh as we sit together. It seems like déjà vu, but everything is backwards. Last time we were in this situation, I was the love sick puppy who was making all the plans and the moves. This time it is all Colin, and he’s the one starring at me with those big brown eyes instead of the other way around. I can’t help but be taken with him; he is all I want in that moment.
As much as I don’t want to say it, things feel different this night. (Knock on wood) Like maybe he’s starting to figure some things out, or trying to anyways. Before he leaves, he looks at me and says, “I like you…I like you.” As if he is having an epiphany. He tells me repeatedly how amazing and awesome I am (which are his favorite descriptive words, he’s so cute).
After he leaves, I find his work badge on the floor. Thinking he’s probably had enough and won’t bother answering….
Hey I found ur ID card do you need it tomorrow? Or is it cool for Monday
Brutal I need it 4 the morning can I call u in the morning ps u r amazing
I fall asleep giddy, totally insanely happy.
The next morning I have to leave really early to make my drive to Moncton back in Fred, but he gets the badge from JB. All is well with the world.