I feel the need to recap the last two weeks: I have been avoiding blogging about some things *cough Colin*, which I don’t think has ever happened for me before. I can’t think of a better way to get into this then just letting it out…last week and the week before were the worst I’ve had with Colin yet. From the first Monday, I knew something was wrong. He wasn’t talking to me, he was avoiding my gaze, he was literally turning around and walking in the opposite direction if he saw me.. Wednesday I confronted him. I sent him an email asking him why he was being so weird to me, which he denied, played off as nothing and told me he wasn’t being weird. So, I keep going about my normal work business, a little hurt but nothing too upsetting. I thought maybe it was all in my imagination because I had been so paranoid that I, myself, was acting weird to him ever since our lunch hour incident.
Last Friday comes along, which was amazing by the way. I never got a chance to blog about last weekend either, so here’s a little recap: My sorority hosted an ABC party, which was AWESOME! We all went out to a bar and I met up with JB and a bunch of other friends there too. Then I find out that Colin’s friends are coming to Fred for the night, staying in a hotel. I am terrified and excited thinking Colin might be with them. Of course he wasn’t.
They show up at the bar and I go up to the one I know, Murph, and say Hi! He then turns around and introduces me to the rest of the buddies as 'Boydy’s girl'... Yupp, apparently that's me...I was a little shocked they would know, but I guess he gossips with his buddies just like I do with my girls. And I can’t deny, I liked being known as his girl. The night goes on, we dance and party and at one point I get into a convo with C’s friends and they start ranting about how much they hate his gf. :|. At this point I'm like, shit, hope they like me... I wouldn’t want them to go back and say anything bad about me to him :\ **Awkward** Anyways, that is that, the night ends. I am pissed he didn’t come down with them, but whatever. I am not at all surprised.
Next Monday rolls around and Colin seems slightly nicer to me, he comes over and we chat a bit and he tells me he regrets not going Friday. From there everything is downhill, he goes right back to not talking to me, not looking at me, completely ignoring me. I am so hurt at this point work becomes rather excruciating for at least 1 or 2 days. Once the initial hurt has set in, I realize, with the help of my lovely ladies, that he is doing exactly what I asked him to do: that if he ever wanted to be done with me that he should stop behaving differently to me then to everyone else at work. Well, he went one step further becoming downright mean, but hey, it was doing the job: Making me stop liking him.
A few of us had training Thursday and Friday together. Two days together in the same room, hoorah. Luckily I snuck a seat at the back with Brendon and Colin was stuck at the front. Thursday break rolls around, he walks by me and Brendon and asks B if he’d like to go outside with him for a primetime. Brendon says no thanks, meanwhile I am walking into the other room to get a drink. Colin follows and is chatting with the others. He turns to go outside and I very casually say, “Would you like some company?” His reply is, “Not really”. Zero joke in his voice. He turns to look at me and then walks out and all I can do is turn away from him and close my open mouth. Crying would have been very welcome and comforting at this point, but since I was in training and at work, it is impossible. That night I have a power chat with JB<3 and basically pump myself up for the inevitable. That it is over and done and he has made his choice and that I need to respect it and move on. I make a playlist and fill it with angsty break up songs to listen to on the drive to work tomorrow.
An aside: I had already made plans with JB and Bells for a girly Friday night of dress up and Indie Pop Night, Saint John style. I did not mention to Colin or anyone at work that I was going to be staying in SJ Friday night. However, JB had hung out with Colin’s friend Murph that Monday night and had discussed it, so Jen told me Thursday. Of course, after such a cold shoulder I would never even bother telling him that I was, or even wanted to tell him.
To be continued...
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