Friday, April 26, 2013

Paleo Diet Update #2

Well! It has almost been a week of eating "Paleo" (it feels like a year) - I'm not going to sugar coat it, it's sorta bullshit because let me tell you eating strictly paleo is extremely difficult. And sort of confusing.

When they say, 'Only eat what cavemen could have eaten', it makes me think of really bare necessities. But based on a lot of the snacks and recipes, that's not so accurate. Cavemen did not have almond butter, but you can eat it because it's made of almonds. But it is still processed. I don't get it. Finding grass fed meat is...well I don't know where to get it and I'm too busy to really look so I bought normal meat. And does bacon count? Because then...yay. Do hotdogs count? Like All beef hotdogs? I don't know, as I said it's a bit confusing.

However as a diet, this Paleo thing is working. I have gone down about 5lbs since Sunday. Which doesn't mean so much really. We'll see what the scale reads next weekend. Of course I'm going to lose weight since I'm not eating fast food or a bunch of carbs like chips and candy...dddduuuhhh. Because really I was eating that a lot before. Don't know how much can be attributed to the actual eating of meat and veggies only, and nothing man-made like splenda.

This diet is boring to the extreme. Diets suck. Sooooooooooooo boring. Shit I miss salad dressing, even fat free salad dressing. That's sad. I should be missing chocolate, probably. Fuck. Alright well I'm going to keep doing it. Will update again soon.

PS: Eating hamburger meat at work with chopsticks is fun.



Haha poo poo diet

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties



In high school, relationships were easy...

What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties

But now you're an adult.

Sucks for you!
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties

Time for STAGE ONE of Young Adult Dating: Hit on Everyone in Sight.

What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Step two: Awkwardly introduce yourself and your, er, interest.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
When they reject you, which is approx. 9/10 times, you're totes cool with it.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
You decide to try online dating...
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Except all the people who write to you online are, uh, not your type.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Your friends are starting to worry about you...
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Especially when you start coming on to them.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties

You've finally made enough bad decisions to be ready for STAGE TWO: Your First Serious Adult Relationship.

What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Just when you thought it was time to give up on dating completely because everyone is so shallow and terrible...
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
You spy your "soulmate" for the first time.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
They agree to go out with you, and the two of you have your first AWESOME adult date!
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
And juuuuust as soon as you're happy, you are overcome by anxiety and self-doubt.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
You feel completely unable to express your true feeling to your new SO.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
And then when you finally do, it comes out all wrong.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
At which point, your "soulmate" is like...
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
And then they actually break up with you, even though they "still love you."
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties

Uh-oh, here comes STAGE THREE: Your First Huge Breakup.

What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
This is literally the worst thing that's ever happened to you.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
You constantly think about begging them to come back to you.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
And you're pretty sure you'll never love again.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
When your friends talk shit, you actually defend the jerk who broke your heart.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Til your ex announces they're marrying the person they started dating right after you.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
And you realize that your friends are totally right.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties

Sounds like you're ready for STAGE FOUR: Forever Alone.

What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
There's nothing wrong.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
The fact that you're focusing on things other than dating is totally OK.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Maybe all of these experiences have made you slightly bitter.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
You think that maybe you just need to broaden your social circle.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Yep, definitely time to get back out there.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties

Time for STAGE FIVE: Hooking Up with the Next Crazy Asshole You Meet.

What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Maybe you can make the whole "no strings attached" thing work...
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
But naturally, you start developing feelings — you are a human!
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Still, this relationship is toxic and you know it.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Finally, you end something on your own terms... because you have standards!
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties

THE FINAL STAGE is the best part of your twenties/life: realizing how awesome you are, with and without a relationship.

What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Although you may still be...
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
You've learned a lot about yourself, the world, and doin' it.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties
Mostly that, no matter what happens, all of this crap makes for an excellent story.
What Dating Is Like In Your Twenties

BAHAHA. Hope you enjoyed that, I sure did.


*This is not mine, I found it here and all credit goes to the genius who write it. But it is amazing and it had to be shared!


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