Monday, August 31, 2009

Don't Date A Douchebag

Take this QUIZ to help avoid dating assholes...

The first date you go on he:

a) Talks about how he’s such a high achiever who is smarter then the rest of the guys on his floor and is surprised that fellow classmates aren’t on the same wavelength. He talks and talks about going to law school, wanting to earn at least six figures and never once asks you what your aspirations are.
b) Goes into detail about how the sex was so good with his ex-girlfriend.
c) Bumps into a group of friends and fails to introduce you.
d) Engages you with lots of questions, tries hard to figure out a good plan for the date, compliments your smile and chivalrously opens doors.


a)Texts this: “Yo bitch, wanna come suck my dick”
b)It takes him three days to text you back and he avoids initial question and just writes “so stoned.”
c)You text him at 4PM for plans and he only ever texts you at 2AM for booty.
d)“I had a terrific time. You looked so hot in that skirt. When we meeting up next?”

At a party:

a)He goes out of his way to make you feel uncomfortable by undermining your intelligence and publicly mocking you.
b)You show up together and he spends the entire night talking with some chick in the kitchen about how she loves one night stands. (Oh, believe me- it’s happened!)
c)After drinking five beers decides to be a stand-up comedian and tell everyone an embarrassing story about you.
d)Introduces you to people, offers to get you a drink, and says “Babe, just let me know if you are bored and want to leave.”

Between the Sheets:

a)Complains that you are a prude or tells you that he needs to teach you how to shag because you obviously don’t know what you are doing.
b)Always requests oral sex and never gives.
c)Only wants to do it doggy style – despite your desires to explore other positions.
d)Gives you head, you have sex, roll around the sheets, kisses your tits and says ‘wow, that was hot.’


a)He cries that he’s poor so you lend him $50. Later that night you find him at the bar getting wasted and remarking that he’s lucky to have a rich girlfriend.
b)You plan a nice date with wine, lingerie and dinner. He belches, wants to watch HNIC and later you wake up to him jerking off to RedTube.
c)You help him study for a test, make him an omelet and later that night he ditches you because his ex is having a break down and he needs to comfort her.
d)He makes you spaghetti. You bring the wine. He plays with your hair. You spend the first part of night watching Sex And The City and the later half The Bourne Supremacy. You make love for hours.

Dating a douchebag?
Mostly A’s – Girl, you have found yourself the biggest asswipe around – DITCH IMMEDIATELY! Seriously, you are a joke.
Mostly B’s – Totally unacceptable, all of them. One or two B’s – you need to set him straight. If it’s more than that – cut that douchebag loose, or you are just embarrassing yourself.
Mostly C’s – Okay – so he’s not horrible, but he’s no winner. Figure out what you are willing to settle for. He better be good in one area, at the very least. We recommend dumping though, cause it ain’t going to get much better. You get what you settle for.
Mostly D’s – Awww. He’s sooo amazing and you are soooooo in love!


Sunday, August 30, 2009

California: the first installment

PLANES: not my forte. This wasnt my first time flying, but 1 hr and 12 min to toronto on an air canada jazz doesnt really count. Everything went surprisingly smooth, apart from my dramatic aerophobia. The first take off I had to hold my dads hand and had tears in my eyes. After landing and taking off three more times throughout the day, I am almost over it. I enjoyed the landings, especially into Las Vegas because I could see the strip. More or less I just get a little woozy and headachey now.
Yesterday my sister took us on a tour of Half Moon Bay, this yuppy surfer community where she lives. There are no malls and a downtown mostly consisting of expensive restaurants and organic vegetable stands. She walked me to the beach, which is..amazing. We saw seals flopping around in the water and there were about 15 pelicans that were really neat. The only bummer is that you need a wetsuit to swim in the ocean because it is actually freezing cold. I did put my feet in it tho :D. Also, it's across this like, live or die highway that you have to run across and wait halfway and then run the rest while cars are speeding at you from both directions at 40 mph.

I was walking around my sisters neighborhood yesterday snapping photos and every street ends in a dead end. I got to one and ignored the fence, walking over this thrown together wooden bridge made of two planks of wood and explored the area. So beautiful! I was afraid a snake would pop out of the tall grass and get me though so when the path led me to a patch I turned back. Another dead end street lead me to a dirt road which I was about to hike when I hear over my iPod music "HELLO!". This crazy looking old lady with purple purple hair is hollering at me and I'm like ooo a neighbor.
Me: Hi there! Do you know if this is private property?
Crazy purple haired old lady: YES IT IS!
Me: Well do you know if the owners live around here?
Crazy purple haired old lady: ME

Luckily at that very awkward moment Erica comes walking up behind me and I'm like "I'm here visiting my sister!" and we make a quick getaway while Erica explains that the crazy purple haired old lady is actually crazy.

Today my sister is at work and my parents are watching a law and order marathon :| It's chilly out, I only have shorts and tshirts so Im wearing my moms sweater and the only vehicle that I can drive someplace exciting is my sisters boyfriends giant diesel truck complete with lift kit.

I think I am going to brave the highway crossing and go read at the beach and listen to the huge waves.

Keep it real

Friday, August 28, 2009

California Dreamin'

This goes out to a special woodstock lady. This morning I am getting in a car and driving to a plane which will fly me to California. I am slacking on the packing to write this shiz, but it's been too long.
I went to Freddy's new Winners this past weekend for the first time, and O-M-G, I think it is my new favorite store! Check check check, check my sweet purchases out. I'm not really a big fan of Ed Hardy, buuuuuut the shoes are quite delicious. Also please view my new Treasure Island "book". Very chic, I very much enjoy collecting pieces that I will use in my future. Adding this faux book to the pile, I've got a few large framed pictures, a wooden owl and a porcelain acorn.

Uh, good luck to everyone starting up school again (suckas!)

Well I am starving. McDonalds breakfast would hit the spot. Ciao ladies and gents!

Sunday, August 16, 2009

A Midsummer Night's Dream

Finally, summer has begun! A beautiful weekend...pause for contented sigh. Ok back to reality. Only two more weeks before September and school is back in session. I would like to remind everyone however that I will be vacationing in sunny California! And I also will be continuing to work at Lepreau, so you won't catch me around stinky campus anytime soon :D

Oh god, has anyone seen those "Bump It" commercials. EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! I have never been more disgusted by a commercial..I actually have a disgusted look on my face thinking about it...the before and after pictures PUKE! The after pictures just look absolutely ridiculous. They are comical... and the before pictures all look like normal hair doos. Haha! Bang up marketing scheme: buy this product and become a martian!

Also the Virgin Mobile 'Connect Fearlessly' commercial: where they depict a couple txting in different locals around town, txting while walking down the middle of a traffic filled road with their heads down. Really good example setting..reminds me of when people text and drive, which is ridiculous. Especially when the driver cannot even manage to maintain a straight line.

Mmmmmmm craving fries supreme from taco bell.

Haha, I need to stop watching TV now. I am going horse back riding today! And am super excited. Right now I am watching a AMC movie called Lucas starring Kerri Green and Charlie Sheen. Sheen is super hot, woooo! And Kerri Green looks an awful lot like Emma Watson. You know, with an old style hair cut. I wish I had beautiful red hair!

Uh, it's breakfast time.

Just got back from horse riding. Fantastic! I went to Horseworld, the only place I can find that does trail rides in Fredericton. It was really fun only because I love love love love horseback riding. Otherwise the trail was so overgrown that you were basically pushing yourself through trees the whole time, it wasnt so much a trail as a really steep uphill climb on a horrible mud and rock filled trail, and then a really steep descent back down. Not to mention the horse I was given pretty much was a stubborn biatch! A young mare who was more interested in eating anything that brushed in front of her face then following the trail. Phew! Still love it tho. I was born to be a country gal. Even my name was made for it. (you know what I'm talking about.)

So now it is 30 degrees out, and I must go find a pool. Gidd'yup!

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Harry could you.

3 weeks the new Harry Potter movie has been out. 3 weeks I've been waiting for the experience! Matinee showtime, delicious snacks, almost empty theatre...the setting was flawless. And still the movie could not deliver. Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince is my least favorite of all the hp movies. Now I know I know, not everyone has the same opinion as me. I've already heard someone saying how it was their favorite of the 6. But this is where I get to vent, so if you're not interested in my point of view on this then STOP reading now!!

One word: booooooring. They supposedly added new scenes that werent in the book to make it more exciting and add some more action to the flick...too bad those scenes were actually still boring as hell. Instead of these new scenes they should have just kept the actual action scenes that were in the book. (trying not to put spoilers here. if you've seen it, then you know what was left out, and if you havent seen it, then you will know what im talking about when you do.)
There were some decent things though, that they nailed. Draco Malfoys character in the 6th book, for example. Tom Felton did such a great job and he looked good in his black suit. His story was played out well. Also, Professor Slughorn was PERFECT! Perfect actor for the role.

This movie was very different from the others. You get used to the choppy scene changes and constant stimulation and silly action of the harry potter movies, but this one was laid out the complete opposite to what you would expect. There are many unnecessarily long scenes of conversations between characters and mindless camera panning shots of furniture and castle walls. This more social build of the characters would normally be very intriguing to me, except someone decided that PG was too much of a rating for this movie. The "kissing"/romance scenes, the students attitudes, the death eaters, Harry. Everything was just dulled down, pre-packaged for 5 year olds anywhere. Snore.... When I told this to my mother she calmly replied, "Hon, I think you have grown out of Harry Potter.", and if that is the case, then it is truly a sad day.

Twilight anyone?
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