Week catch up

Mon mon mon mon. mon mon mon mon. mon mon mon mon. mon mon mon mon. mon mon mon mon.

Can anyone guess this song?

So! I had an amazing weekend (even though I missed out on all that good stuff that was happening) Saturday morning, me and Dad picked up the bike. Took it home in my gramps trailer, charged the battery up a bit, and even took it around the block a few times. It is PERFECT and awesome. I’ve already dedicated this weekend to cleaning it up and making it all shiny.

Saturday evening I went up to SJ to stay with Jen overnight, YAY! I was in the best mood, and we were having an amazing time….

Until…don don don…

I decided I wasn’t feeling the food court at the mall, so we went to Wendy’s instead, which happens to be right beside a Subway. Guess who was eating supper at this Subway? Come on, 3 guesses.

As we walked to the door to leave I glimpsed the familiar black ranger, and I knew it was him right away because there is a piece of tape stuck to his antenna. (I put it there, long story..) Anyways, I only saw it for a second, but I knew. I said it to Jen and she just kept me walking towards my car. He had pulled around the building and was sitting waiting for us. What are the mofucking odds.

He had recognized my car in the parking lot and had spotted us (likely stuffing our faces with POTATOES! yum) inside.

Heart racing, hands shaking, I tried to be cool. I kept thinking, this is fate: (stupid fate) we are supposed to be together tonight.

After we chatted for a bit his friend texted Jen telling us to go to his place. (Colins phone was dead) So, stupidly, I totally convinced Jen we HAD to go. And it was easy to force her, cuz I was driving lol.

I’ll get him hard, show him what I got. Can’t read my, can’t read my….

So we went, they were hanging out in his buddy's garage, and it was HORRIBLE. Such a man cave: naked women covering the walls, four wheelers, a tv showing a hockey game, a beer fridge, rickety chairs, etc. I could tell Jen was not pleased, but I was just love drunk to be around Colin again, just hanging out like we used to. (STUPID) We didn’t stay there longer then 45 min, we were meeting Jen’s boy at her apt at 10pm, but Colin said told me he would charge his phone and get a hold of me later. That they would come out to the bar and meet us there.

I was terribly excited.

We sat around JB’s drinking oldschool boones and watching Dave Chappelle. Mitch came and we convinced him to drink as well :P. Then his friend came over and then we all went out to the bar.

TWIN DARKNESS

Alas, no word from douchebag.

What a surprise he didn’t come out, he didn’t text me, he just fucked off as usual.

The next day, Sunday, I went to work bright and early as planned. He showed up around noon. Only me and him. Awkward...

I knew I wouldn’t feel any better until I said something to him, so I just did. He acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about, like he didn’t get why I was mad. I asked him what he had ended up doing and he said he went to a party somewhere in the country. (oh and he went by himself, his other friends went to the bar, a different bar then we were at, but STILL) WHAT THE FUCK. Scum, dirtbag, mo fo, piss me off, jerk, rawr rawr rawwwr! Totally DITCHED ME.

Whatever, move on, get over it.

Pa pa pa pokerface pa pa pokerface.

ok SO. this is the goal of my LIFE:

zero colin acknowledgment.

he is never going to change. i need to stop thinking about this whole situation as if he likes me as much as i like him. everything has just gone to shit. but i cant be mad at him for being who he is. it's my fault i let it affect me. he is an instigator only.

i just dont want to feel anything for him anymore, i just want it to go away, these feelings to be over. Get OUT OF ME.

the only way i can think to make it go away is to completely ignore him. like, i still chat with him and such, but i cant do that anymore. i dont want to be mean to him, but i cannot be his friend right now, or keep doing this thing we are doing (that more and more i think is merely a figment of my imagination). honestly, i dont think he will even notice. and it's sad that that thought makes me sad. im tired of being sad.

frustrating. how did i get here? how did i let it get here. i knew better. i KNOW better. how can a boy make a girl throw all sense out the window?


So far this week I have done just that. To summarize his response to my behavior (he has noticed i guess..), yesterday he stood facing me where only I could see him in the trailer. When I finally looked up at him, it was ONLY to see that he was glaring at me giving me the finger. That would be the worst. The rest of the week, whenever I do slip up and glance at him, I usually receive a pretty severe death stare.

Sweet.

Haha, you all thought it was over. It will never be over, until September when I go back to school.

Other than that this week has been quite pleasant! I got my postcard from my Happy Mail buddy. (mail is slow.) I found out who the new students are that are coming to replace me and Brendon :) so we get to train them up over the summer. My guy is someone who worked with us last year, Ali, and I really like him! Yeah!!! He is super nice, and I'm excited. The other guy I don't know.

Oh YA, I have booked tickets to visit my sister Brittany in Alberta June 24th to July 4th! FINALLY. Mon mon mon mon.

I’m super excited to see her and do crazy things. I have never been to Edmonton either, so that will be fun :D. If only I wasn’t terrified of flying, I would be good.

I am looking forward to tonight when Roro's sister, Delaney comes to visit! Hang outs!!! Thursday the Sorority is having a visit from the Founding Sister, which is quite an honour. I have never met her but am looking forward to it. She is driving down from Halifax just for us. Friday is FSTS, the final initiation of our pledges to become sisters! (yay Andrea!) and then the rest of the weekend will be a blur of motorbike, peoples birthdays and working.