daily woes

So..so there's this new thing happening in my life, and it's been about two months now..which is no time at all really and somehow it's longer. And it's been so long since I've felt this way that I'm not really sure about anything. Isn't this about the time when the guys gets scarce, when he starts to let you down, when you constantly feel insecure and on edge. Isn't that what should be happening?


Never failing...I..I don't get let down. I am not being let down. I receive nothing but...kindness and sympathy, patience and caring. Enough to bring me to tears if I think on it too much. 


And then there is this barrier. This great mother fucking barrier reef. A 5000km barrier. And I still cannot get him off my mind.

I swear to god I am jinxing this as I write but he is so kind and thoughtful and selfless. Who is he. I miss him so much my eyes burn, my breath catches and no other exists.

It is so terrifying. So terrifying. I am sick falling for this guy. And I don't know if we can survive this distance and time. And I don't know how either of us will feel in 6 months or if we'll even fit into each others lives. I don't know anything.

Except that I am falling. And I think..it is...in...