Sunday, June 6, 2010

Dunna dunna dunna. Dunna dunna dunna. (mario level 2)

So I've recently been introduced to Texts from Last Night. We’ve since become fast friends and may in the near future even begin seeing each other romantically. Don’t mind if he pops up a few times within this post, he just has no filter. (One of the reasons I like him so much.)

Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex"

Gary boy aka Boston Red Sox and I have been continuously texting again this week. It's rather nice. And it's interesting looking at the msg screen on my ol'pearl and just see his name repeatedly as I scroll down. It's been awhile. This weekend he is in Moncton at a Voltswagon car show with some buddies.

Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.

Another plus, Colin has been behaving as he should be and so have I. I’m getting more comfortable around him, allowing for no make up days and frequently more casual hair...bringing back the pony tail, baby. I mean, sure, if I’m looking extra hot (har dee har) one day then I might strut by his desk a few more times than necessary, but that’s just fun.

i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.

Things I'm looking forward to this month that make my stomach bunch into little whizzing rocket ships:
ECLIPSE Soundtrack release June 8th - 2 days
ECLIPSE Movie premiere June 30th - 24 days
A. Campbells 25th birthday celebration June 19th - 13 days
oh, and my 22nd birthday June 28th - 22 days

I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer

Still up in the air whether or not im going to have an early bday celebration (since i will be away on the day). I can't decide if Friday night was a partying incentive or turn off. Let's begin with these gems:
me and Whit and our booze. We took these after making a night goal that we would finish all of it. That was around 7:30pm. (Is posing for pictures with booze a possible symptom for alcoholism?)

My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.

More and more friends showed up until Whitney was sloppily fbing her neighbors "Apparently I'm having people over!" Someone brought out the Super Nintendo and it quickly became a full on Mario Party. At some point cabs were called and we all made our way downtown to Sweetwaters aka iRock aka they-should-just-stop-changing-the-name-cuz-there-was-nothing-wrong-with-it-to-begin-with for some cage dancing. On the walk in one of Whitney's brand new shoes broke. Then we're inside channeling the pussy cat dolls. Somehow there's a drink in my hand. (This is like a dream sequence) I run into some old friends and am convinced the chicks name is CALIOPE (accent the E like EH) therefore I'm repeatedly cat calling her across the crowd "CALIOPE! CALIOPE!" We get Pita Pit and I'm walking around outside ripping off pieces I don't feel are necessary to my pita and chucking them (wow, I hope lots of people I know saw me doing that). One of the buddies I met and I walk 5 km to his apt and next thing I know I'm having a conversation with actor Ben Foster and waking up fully clothed and drooling on a couch surrounded by Bionical figurines.

you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now

Interesting night. Raging hangover. Couldn't decide whether I wanted to throw up, fart, use the bathroom, eat, sleep or drink more first. Fortunately, (or not so fortunately) that decision was made for me.

First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down

Today's the last day I've got alone in my house. Either late today or tomorrow the parents will be back, all tanned and gloriously refreshed from their 8 week stint in a Florida condo. I was planning on going into work (honest, I was) but I woke up this morning and just decided to take this final day and run with it. Also I didn't want to be alone with Colin at work. Thursday he moved into the new house he just bought. His gf is also going to live there. I don't want to know...anything, thank you.

On that rather depressing note I'm suddenly craving a greasy grilled cheese.

Read em and weep people.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score

in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him

So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"

And my ultimate favorite: Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.

Ya. We've all been there. Later lovelies xo. o ya and enter my giveaway bitches. ends next sunday, whaa?


samboy said...

hahhah love texts from last night!

wish I had texts off hermione!

And mmmm malibu! YUM! :) x

Robyn M. said...

Your pita story makes me happy... I hope you were also eating it like NOM NOM NOM..oh sweets how I miss you..Also texts from last night is the shit... I love the sarah and jake one I believe I have had that exact text convo before..

AKC said...

oh texts from last night is a riot. sometimes i wish i got texts like that, other times, i'm thankful i don't.

posing with booze doesn't make you an alcoholic, just means you have photographic proof of what exactly you drank that made you ALMOST shart. (come on, we've all been there, you think you're gonna fart, then you run to the bathroom as fast as you can because you know when you're hungover, just a fart is wishful thinking.)

WhitneyAlaina said...

the malibu was great...until the next morning when i was dead and realized i really did drink a quart and a half...

Elaine B said...

I have loved TFLN for months!! there is even a book. you should look into that.. its a great read!!

Amy Renee Martin said...

Oh my gosh this cracked me up!!! Oh. And monster khaos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Plaid Guru said...

Samboy - Hermione was my favorite part of that one <3 Seriously, have you watched the new HP TRAILER YET?! BAAAH!

Robrob - yeah i was totally channeling you while eating that ps lol.

Ashley - not going to lie, had shit there as well, but changed it to "use the bathroom". im such a lady.

whitney - we kicked the shit out of that booze

elaine - i friggin will i pretty much read the website for about an hour...

amy - HAHA! monster khaos! i didnt even friggin notice. i was chasing shots with it...:| LOL BEST THING EVER

Bailey Morrison said...

You. are. awesome.

Officially a FOLLOWER!

m. said...

i miss you<3

janel. said...

Don't forget to head over to my blog and snatch up the Blog Button for accepting the journal challenge!!

chelsea rebecca said...

i am dying at all out similarities! we are blogger twins! and yes i totally have the journal! HOW FUNNY!!! thats where i got the quotes too!!!

i love all your alcohol! too funny.

and now i really want grilled cheese too! haha.

love your blog!!!

Sasha said...

I loved every bit of this post! lol!

I am now a follower!

Sasha :)

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