EFF EFF EFF. How did Colin Boyd weasel his way into being my fb friend? cuz I'm dumb! That’s why. Yupp. Ugh. Some of you might have noticed my newest fb friend is none other. Now I have all these worries about pictures I’ve been tagged in that I’m… not at my most flattering, and obsessing about finding the PERFECT profile picture. (rolling eyes at self)
Yeah yeah I know, it’s been established that this guy is ‘no good’ for me, putting it nicely. However, I felt it was time for a whole situation update since I haven’t really been acknowledging him in my posts for about a month. So here goes…
It’s been 5 weeks since his gf broke up with him. And I’ve been keeping my distance from him since. I am no rebound. Well…I don’t want to be anyway. And I made it clear by TELLING him that to his face.
I think I’ve been in pretty good spirits since. He’s been texting and emailing pretty steadily ever since the weekend of their break up, but I haven’t hung out or seen him other than at work. I pretty much have a shield up against him now. Even if he is being super nice and fun and says how he regrets going back out with her this time last year because he could have better spent that time with...others, it just doesn’t budge. Which makes me confused when sometimes I do want to let him in. I just can’t seem to do it.
I know the whole situation is this awful, sticky mess…but lately I’ve been thinking of how I will only be working with him until the end of August. After that, chances are we will never see each other again. So, if it makes me happy, maybe I should just go with it regardless of the…consequences. After all, I have tried denying my, feelings, for him, which I will add I have only felt once before (for ex-bf Ashkan) and that didn’t work and ignoring him doesn’t seem to work either. Therefore I think it’s time to buck up buttercup and just go with it. I can only learn and grow at this point. And for now, that is that.
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