Yupp. Guilty.

DANG DANG DANG. I am such an arse. What is the cardinal rule of a 20 something strong, independent woman? OK maybe not “cardinal” (is that word ever used for anything other then “the cardinal rule”? I don’t think so.), but significant enough I’d say.

Speak it with me girls!
DO NOT LET MEN CONTROL YOUR LIFE.

I am being so effed swept! Colin is crap in a million ways, but some days (like today) I cannot shake those stupid erratic feelings I have for him. Arrrrgggh. Damn you and how you look so good at work! Why do you have to wear your hair fancy and have a beard like you know I like? Why are you buying new clothes that make me compliment you! How do I find you so sexily intelligent at work and yet so dumb in your decisions elsewhere??

Since I arrived back from vacation in Edmonton, slowly but surely he has been making his way back into my nook. It began with just little things, easily dismissible.

But from short hellos and deep sidelong glances came full on conversations. As things built up I had to release by sending him an email professing all, again. This time, there was no avoidance; he was friendlier to me if anything and even recently told me how much he enjoyed reading it. So far, so good. But, brain kicking in for my own well being I locked myself up, chanting nightly “One more month, just one more month” in the mirror as affirmation.

Of course, we all know that when it comes to the opposite sex I play it strong but am in reality too stupid and a dreamer forgiving and understanding. Last week, I threw caution to the wind. I let myself have it: multiple amicable chats and a lunch date together in the caf. Friday went even further, he venturing to my desk several times and coming out of his comfort zone, touching his skin to mine in a very non coworker fashion. Yeah, I got lots of work done that day :|

Today is Tuesday. Day two of hell week as things have begun to plateau. The next step would be a “casual” encounter in Saint John, but that phenomenon is of the past and merely existent in my imagination these days. It’s only a matter of time before he realizes how close to that we’re getting, clams up and turns on me. Start the fucking proverbial countdown.

Despite all, we’re in a good place. I think. If only because we’ll be leaving each others lives in no less than 30 days. I am for this moment, happy. Dare I say it, enjoying myself. And I believe he is, too. Our behavior is, in its way, harmless. 30 days and it will be done. No harm, no foul. And life will go on. He will return solely to his gf and the home they are building together and all that entails. I will return to my city, my third year of university, a crazy class schedule and my presidency of Iota Beta Chi Sorority. Our lives will be separated by more then just 150km.

For all the foolishness, for everything that has happened, for the good times and the bad, I guess all I can do is hold my breath and take this thing one day at a time.









Day one.

Epic NON-fail :)

Good Monday morning everyone! El weekendo certainly did the trick in getting me back to Happytylerland. Thank god for those 2 day breaks.

Friday night me and my best lady shared our troubles while downing 2L of Vex Bananatini. 3 gals came in from Bathurst and 1 from SJ to join our lil party and we all headed downtown to the local skanky classy dance club, iRock. I haven’t been there in so long, it was wonderful to just go with the girls and dance our friggin ARSES off. Oh, and getting dragged into the corner by my Latino lover wasn’t too shabby either.

:O

I mean, I did not go into the co-ed bathroom with anyone.

And by Latino lover I mean this really hot guy (through my drunk gogs anyways) who was actually from Europe. I know this because he kindly reminded me every time I referred to him as “my Mexican” or “my Latino lover”. Silly boy, he should have known that would have no impact whatsoever on what I had already decided was his name. And no, I really did not go into the co-ed bathroom with him. He sure made me laugh!
We closed the place, went out to the Diplomat (the only sit down restaurant open 24hrs) and all fell asleep at the table.

Saturday was the ALL GIRL RIVER RUN that I’d been planning for about a month, and 9 of us gals spent 5 hours tubing gracefully down the beautiful Miramichi River.

Highlights:
RIP Ritz Crackers
Nicole slow motion flipping
Being tied to two fantastic ladies
Getting the burn of the century on my thighs
…oh wait

We finished off our perfect day with dinner on the patio of our favorite restaurant Dimitris, where we ate until we could no longer function.

Sunday I was planning on going into work. Except then I looked outside and it was 30 degrees and sunny. So I went to the beach instead, HA! Laying out, swimming, laying out, Frisbee, swimming, laying out, swimming, laying out.

It’s a tough life.

Oh haha, and this morning I had quite a laugh over this:

 hahahaha! and it's still making me laugh.


wishing good days to you all xo Tyler

fail

1 - Overslept this morning in SJ, missed 5 hours of regular work time aka $140 bucks.

2 - Had a parking ticket - $20 bucks.

3 - Instead of coming out and meeting me Gary decided to sleep.

Sigh. 
Deleted.

4 - Missed an important 9am meeting that I had set up. Lady was not happy.

5 - Was assured by a fellow carpooler Wednesday that Bill would not be coming to work Friday and therefore did not need a drive therefore I made arrangments and stayed overnight in SJ. Had this email when I got here today:

No one showed up at the car pool this morning; I waited until 6:05.

I will be on vacation until July 20^th, returning to work on July 21^st.

I will be prepared to drive on that day.

Regards,

Bill Chase 

Been trying to call him all day, no answer. And I feel childish sending him an email that says "Murray told me you weren't going! It's not my fault! Sorry!!!!"

6 - Colin invited me through fb to "Housewarming/Colleen's birthday". He only invited two of us from work on fb. He did not invite his whole contact list, but 169 out of 219. Overall just makes me uneasy to think of them together and have it flashed in my face. EUGH. Also the event is happening now as I type. Began at 1pm this afternoon. I am not there, clearly.

7 - Busy, busy, busy, busy. I am too busy.

Need detox time. Need cleansing. Need organization. Need relaxation. Need vodka.

time on earth is changing

Summer's begun. Its +30 degrees and humid every day; it’s too hot for me and it’s grossing me out. Since I've been back from Edmonton, I've been feeling tired and crappy. I’ve begun swimming with my mother everyday. I really love swimming. It feels good to be moving my forgotten muscles. And it’s nice to spend time with my mom, but oh my god does she never shut up. Literally any conversation we have she’ll interrupt and turn it into an annoying pep talk: fat is the devil, and I should constantly be moving in the water because it burns calories and floating doesn’t burn calories, Tyler you shouldn’t be eating anything other than salad and chicken because everything else is just calories and that goes for dressing too, Tyler I don’t want you to drink anymore, Tyler I’m going to guilt you into staying here for 3 hours so you can lose weight, you’ll lose some of that flab if you come here everyday, see that girl Tyler, if you do this everyday you can have a figure like her, etc etc.

It’d be worth it to lose a few pounds just to get her off my back. Thing is she’ll never stop. Even if I lost 100 lbs she would say “now if you could just lose that chub off your tummy…”

Work has become this bleak place. It used to holster something magical, unreachable, a fleeting beauty. And now it’s finally dissipated. Let’s Doctor Who metaphor this:

I’m Rose Tyler and I had a perfectly happy life before the Doctor came along. Then he swept me away into his world of adventure, time travel and infinite possibility and life became that much brighter because he was in it. Well, he’s just dropped me off back at home in London, returning me to my old, now dull-in-comparison life.

I’m really ready to move on from that place, get back into school and trudge forward into whatever’s next.


Short guy update: Gary’s msging has over the past 2 months become more and more frustrating. He used to be cute and endearing when he’d tick me off, now he just makes me feel bad. Therefore I’ve jumped off the train. Deleted (or at least name changed to Being A Loserface) from my phone. I’m not expecting anything more from him in the near future. Maybe I should have put more effort into seeing him. Or maybe I should just quit it while I’m in such a state of melancholy either way.

Anyone wanna pity party with me? I’ll bring the Ben & Jerry’s, you bring the chick flick and snuggies.

I guess it wouldn’t be right to say nothing about Eclipse, after all Twilight’s never done me wrong. So, YES I saw Eclipse. TWICE. :) And I wouldn’t mind seeing it a few more times (thank you 5.99 movies on Tuesdays, Empire Theatre). Finally, the chemistry between Bella and Edward is believable. I’m Team Jacob and therefore don’t even want them to be together, but I couldn’t help but love them in this movie. Of course, I loved Jake too. In fact I thought he was the best. His acting has improved 10 fold. Favorite scenes (SPOILER ALERT): When Jake gets hurt at the end and is lying on the ground silent screaming; when he screams later in the house when Carlisle is re-breaking his bones. (Pretty sure I was tidal wave crying at this point); when he turns around because Bella asks him to kiss her, the LOOK on his face; and finally the Bella and Edward ending. I was so happy for them I was crying tears of joy and laughing out loud as the credits rolled and Metric played from the speakers. I KNOW I AM A BIG LOSER AND I DON’T CARE. THIS SHIT MAKES ME HAPPY THEREFORE I EMBRACE IT! Lol. That is all. PS I’m totally in love with a fictional character.

Seriously, I have this overwhelming desire to man hunt a guy who looks like Jacob, will protect me like him, is tough and manly and is ruggedly good looking yet caring, sensitive and wants me to be happy. Does this man exist? Cuz I’ll pay money.



In an attempt to cheer myself up I’m posting one of those “List of Summer Goals”. Most people have been writing these up and they seem fairly happy, so what can it hurt?

So with no further adieu and in no particular order…



TYLER’S FREAKIN’ FANTASTIC LIST OF STUFF TO DO BEFORE SUMMERS OVA 2010 EDITION:

1. Return for the 16th time to Magic Mountain Water Park in Moncton, NB.
2. Swim in the ocean.
3. Spend a weekend by myself at my camp in Boistown, NB.
4. Invite good people to stay at my camp with me for a weekend.
5. Go tenting somewhere…anywhere!
6. Go on a road trip.
7. Get my swim stroke back.
8. Wear my hair naturally as much as possible. (Unleash the curl!)
9. Get a natural tan.
10. Wear less face make up.
11. Feel beautiful again with no make up.
12. Be a passenger in a motorboat.
13. Try fishing.
14. Go hiking in Fundy.
15. Motorbike the Cabot trail in Nova Scotia with my papa.
16. Eat a lobster, for the first time!
17. Figure out how to get rid of stinky feet and shoes.
18. Read 4 new books (Help me out people! I’m a terrible repeat offender…need some new material)
19. Host a potluck.
20. Slowly grow out the layers in my hair until I have a long, natural blunt cut.
21. Get really dirty at least once.
22. Go for a midnight swim at Kilarny Lake.
23. Surround myself with people I love, are supportive and truly care about me.
24. Bake a quiche.
25. Fall in love with someone worthwhile.


Ciao Amigos. Xo.

enter smile and eye roll here

THE JACOB PART KILLS ME

I can be a freak every day of every week

Ladies and Gentlemen, I have re-arrived. And I’m booty shakin’ all the way.

EDMONTON was killer! I meant to keep yas updated throughout my 10 day stint, but it seemed every time I got a second my fingers were too pooped to pop. Literally, I was either awake or passing out. So allow me a quick recap:

ME AND MY SIS…
Made friends with a guy named Mike. He gave me fried chicken.

Saw Eclipse! And peed a little. Well, I did.

 Kicked the West Ed Mall’s butt, multiple times.

 Ran through dangerous and ridiculously windy thunderstorms.

Caught many a bus.

Went fishing at my Britt’s work.

Stalked Followed the ultimate hottie through campus.

Met a few of B’s friends AND LOVED THEM.

 Saw Britt’s new place and talked scuba dive-biking with her soon-to-be room mate.

 Wore out my sneakers. *GET A CAR

Watched a sea lion show.

Danced our asses off in Funkytown.

Chickened out BIG TIME on riding a roller coaster. (that was just me)

Went to the zoo.

 Rolled down a hill in front of people…a few times.

 Spent the day at an outdoor pool.

Got a wicked sunburn. *which is now a tan, SCORE.

Ate ice creams bigger than our faces.

Gave Brittany Fraser a hangover from my Black Magic punch.

Bought me a derish birthday cake.

 Ate some yummy cheap Italian food and enjoyed (mostly me) a pitcher of strawberry daiquiris.

 Drank, ate pizza, played pool, DJ’d and had birthday celebrations with some fantastic people at Britt’s second home: the Garneau Pub.

 Drove 4 hours to Banff.

 Shopped for essentials: Banff shot glasses, Banff drink koozies, Banff booze.

Rubbed up together in a hot tub. (Brittany, you naughty thing.)

Took off pants in Banff and ran around with them on my head.

Made friends with the hotel toilet.

Saw the rocky mountains.

 

Saw the flat fields of the prairies.

Came face to face with a REAL DINOSAUR! Or two. Or three.

Wore a sparkly Canadian flag sticker on my chest.

Played in a fountain.

Enjoyed all the shops of Old Strathcona.

Played Dodge the Funny Drunks/Homeless people while walking home from the bar.

Witnessed the best fire work show the world has ever known.

Great, great time. Thanks B, for letting me sleep on your futon and always taking my shit <3 love love love.

When I got home I was surprised to have TWO pieces of mail waiting for me: thanks Hutchers for the lovely card! and my June Happy Mail buddy Jane Cullen for the AMAZING PACKAGE! (HELLLLLO WOLF PACK BOOKMARK. LOOOOOVE!) And now, back to work. In comparison to vaca, c’est bleak. Dull. Boring. Yesterday, I was complete Zombie-Tyler. Fortunately, I seem to work well when I’m the walking dead. Only a few times did I actually fall asleep, sitting up in my chair pen in hand I might add. (Somebody get me a pair of those glasses with open eyes…I think could pull it off)

Last night I finished getting organized and unpacking, trying to get back into the swing of things asap. TANIGHT I am going for my second helping of Eclipse with Whit. I am oober excited to see it again. I’m probably gonna hit this one up atleast 2 more times in theatres. Tomorrow I’m adventuring with Sir Evan…shenanigans pretty much guaranteed (and his birfday is in two days! Celebrate good times, come on.) I leave you with a plethora of exquisite driving/dancing/shakewhatyourmammagaveyou music aka the B&T Edmonton Soundtrack - Volume 1.

xo Tyler