10 Things I hate about you dictates my life

I hate the way you talk to me, and the way you cut your hair.
I hate the way you drive my car, I hate it when you stare.
I hate your big, dumb combat boots and the way you read my mind.
I hate you so much it makes me sick — It even makes me rhyme.
I hate the way you're always right. I hate it when you lie.
I hate it when you make me laugh — Even worse when you make me cry.
I hate it when you're not around. And the fact that you didn't call.
But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you — Not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all

I cry at this part every time i watch it. this is one of my favorite movies, just listened to it on youtube in the background while working. thanks, big sis Erica for buying it for me on VHS when i was too little to understand it <3

Dix choses...

10 things!

I was tagged by the lovely Samboy to share 10 random things about me! I'm excited....and it will help me get rid of those 2 ugly posts below which I do not want to see anymore.

1. I like to think that I have my own style, which I love! But sometimes I get to thinking about trends and wonder if I come up with any of my own ideas, or if they are just subconsciously planted in my brain through TV, magazines, the internet, etc? For example, Ray Banner sunglasses have been pretty hot this past while, but I swear I bought a pair from le Chateau months before I saw anyone else with them. I even wore them and then got tired of them and stopped. Then all of a sudden it seemed like everyone was effing wearing them!? This thought often stops me mid purchase and makes me wrack my brain as to whether I truly like it or not.



2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is my all time favorite show. I own all the seasons and have probably watched them 8 times through. I love everything about it, the cast, the characters, the story lines, the fight scenes, the comic relief, the love stories, the heart, and everything else that makes that show what it is. Oh, and my MAJOR crush on Spike doesn't hurt.



3. I have an irrational fear of flying in an airplane, or aerophobia. (Aerophobia: An abnormal and persistent fear of flying) Last time I went on a plane it was on a trip to California for my sister Erica's wedding. We had 3 landings and take offs for the way down, and two on the way back. By the end of it I was still horrid. On the first take off I had to hold my dads hand and I had tears in my eyes.



4. I can speak English and French, but am rubbish at learning languages now...I tried to learn Spanish in a university class and totally gave up and dropped it. It was too hard and awkward! I wish I could speak lots and lots of languages, I find them fascinating and beautiful. I also really enjoy watching subtitled movies. Swedish is one of my favorite languages...it is mesmerizing.

5. Some songs make me dance, always, even if I am in the most public place where dancing is extremely foolish and inappropriate. Here is a short list of some songs that possess me these days:

Fire Burning - Sean Kingston (listening to it right now, and am dancing in my desk chair)
Pokerface - Lady Gaga
Call On Me - Eric Prydz
Summer Girls - The Stereos
Swing - Savage
Cotton Eye Joe
Believe - Cher
Sexy Chick - David Guetta ft Akon
Crank Dat - Soulja Boi
Starstrukk [Remix] - 3OH!3 ft Katy Perry

6. I can't remember a relationship I was in that I didn't cheat on the person, and I have been "the other women" more than once. I have serious issues with monogamy, and sometimes I think it is better to not have a monogamous relationship. It's complicated and confusing and probably only makes sense to me, so I won't even try to explain myself.

I think that I'm just this kind of person that won't be satisfied until they meet the person their going to marry. And then I will be, and I'll be grown up, and I'll be ready. I also have a firm belief and desire to someday get married and have a family and a wonderful marital relationship.

7. My two front teeth are fake! I got them knocked out when I was young when me and a friend were throwing rocks into the stream in my backyard. Lee swung her hand back and smacked me in the mouth with the rock she was holding. My mom and Lee were both crying and but I didn't cry. It didn't really hurt and I didn't realize at the time what it would mean exactly. Well now I know! Years of having temporary caps fall off at random times in my life and having to walk around snaggle toothed for a day or two, multiple emergency trips to the dentist to get new ones stuck on. Finally ending when I was 18 with the application of permanent porcelain verniers. Now my teeth are different, and they'll be that way forever. Isn't that a weird thought? Just imagine all of a sudden you have different looking front teeth then what you have had your whole adult life. WEIRD!

8. Sneakers are my passion. I wear them all year round! I would rather wear sneakers then cute flats, or practical winter boots. I cannot wear heels if my life depended on it, they hurt me soooooooo bad, no matter how slimming they make your ankle look! I also am the pickiest sneaker buyer on the planet. It literally takes me weeks, sometimes months to buy a new pair. I have to go through every shop, check out everything. Most of the time I will do all that and not end up buying anything because I am so damn particular. Not only with looks, but with fit. So I'll end up keeping on wearing my old pair, even if they are full of holes, ripped, stinky and all around destroyed. I have owned only about 5 pairs of sneakers in my life that I really enjoyed. The pair that I bought on this past weekend are one of them. I am wearing them right now and I love love LOOOVE them! I tried to look up a pic online but there are just too many Adidas out there.

9. I'm 5'11. TALLLLLLL!!! and I love it.

10. I drive a motorcycle and I wish I could drive it all year round <3. Mine is a 650 Suzuki GS '84, but I really want to buy a sport bike when the opportunity is best.


THAT TOOK SO LONG. It's hard to think of random things about yourself, cuz to you, they're not really random, they're just you.

My turn to TAG 5 people!

I piiiiiiiiiiiiiick, the people I think most likely to do it, or that I want to force to do it, or that I think will pass it along, cuz it's fuuuuuuuuuuun:

RobRob
Tmo (even though I think she is a slacker blogger because she hasn't written in a week! hint hint)
Amy Renee
Kasie
Nat

xoxo

My heart just broke

because Colin has changed his display picture on fb to a shot of him with his arm around his gf, taken over the holidays, and they both look wonderful and happy.

I am sick to my stomach and such a fool.

MY FRIDAY!

The following is what was too scandalous to put in my blog...then I decided I don't care.

I emailed Colin asking if he wanted to go out to lunch Thursday when I had my car at work. He didn’t reply and ended up working through lunch.

The next day I was like TYLER don’t even answer his emails YOU ARE MAD AT HIM for not even bothering to reply yesterday. Of course, at 10:12am he emails me and it says:
Does your lunch invite still count for today or has that ship already sailed?

And of course I cannot say no to him, so I tell him it’s a plan. We ask other people if they want to join us but in the end it is just me and him. I also wanted to get pizza, cuz we don’t have pizza in our caf at work. Then I realize the place is at least 20 min away driving. I tell Colin maybe we should just eat in the caf here but he says no, he doesn’t care. So we end up going, just me and him. And all of a sudden I’ve got him in the car for 20 minutes, alone and sober. I jump right to the nitty gritty questions: asking him about his gf and his life and stuff. We get there and get our pizza, eat in the car. Then somehow we get around to the subject that I really like him and I realize his situation with his gf and how he cannot get out of it easily and blah blah blah, the usual. Then I just say: “If I asked you to kiss me right now, would you?” and he replies: yeah, probably. So I say OK kiss me and lean over to him and we are both smiling ear to ear like two little kids in middle school. And he kisses me.

BUTTERFLIES!

I tell him to kiss me again, and he says it’s too public (we are sitting in a gas station parking lot after all, where lots of our co workers are) So I start putting on my seat belt to go back to work and he says: “Have you ever been to Lepreau falls?” He explains how it is this water fall down the street a bit that has its own parking lot at the end of a long street. He says we can go there….

And so we do. And we are sitting in park, kind of awkwardly, both knowing what is about to happen.

We kiss twice, but I stop it both times. Stomach eating self at this point, all these thoughts running through my head: Shit he has a gf, Shit I like him so much, Shit this is my dream come true, Shit does this mean he likes me too for real now, Shit it’s my time of the month, SHIT! He then says maybe we should go back to work and I agree, again putting on my seatbelt. He looks at me and says, “Tyler..” like I am doing something wrong, then “Do you want to go back to work?”

I say no, he looks at me and turns himself fully around in his seat, pulls me to him and we are off, seriously making out. We’re there for about 30 min, stuff happens…

As soon as it’s done he is panicking I can tell. His thoughts likely similar to mine. He says stuff like “That was so bad, I feel so guilty. I have a gf. You are my co worker. I don’t want to break your heart.” And then he starts going on asking me how it would work between us. “You live in Fredericton, I live in SJ. What are we going to do when our work term is up in 8 months and you go back to school fulltime at UNB in Fred and I am here in SJ at NBCC fulltime?” At this point I am still flying from what just happened but I am brought down rather abruptly by his clear distress. He says things like “I’ve never done that before, everyone’s gonna know at work! We’re going to get fired!”

I can’t take it anymore, I snap at him telling him to calm the fuck down, know one is going to know, no one saw us, his gf won’t find out. I don’t expect him to immediately break up with her because that happened. And to please just act like he normally does because I can’t handle him freaking out.

He says “Look we are fighting already. Ok, still just friends. With benefits....”


We get back to work, no one asks us a thing, and we go about our afternoons like we always would.


I am a horrible person because he has a gf, I know. But just because they’ve been dating on and off for 7 years doesn’t mean they are meant to be. Them having the same group of friends probably doesn’t hurt, and their mutual friends already dating and such, it’s just a snowball effect. How can I pry him out of this hole he is in? He’s told me a million times he doesn’t like her, and how much more awesome I am. But it’s complicated, as it always is with these things. Just because he’s settled, doesn’t mean he has to settle.

has everybody missed me!

SORRY I've been MIA since last Thursday. I am sooo behind on my daily blog entries for the month of Jan...need to make up like 4 now I think. We'll see how today at work goes.

We must interrupt this program to bring you breaking news.
Friday was a pivotal day, in the craziness that is my life. I could not blog on Friday due to the events that happened and I cannot blog about them now. This is the first time that I have blog censored. THAT IS HOW INTENSE THIS IS. It is my life.

Respectfully, if curious minds want to know I will indulge appropriate details to those who ask. Other than that, just know that Friday was, one of those amazing magic days. I am nothing but smiles about it.

We now continue with our usual blog.
Saturday I woke up feelin like p-diddy. Me and Whit went to Crabbe for more snowboarding. I took the class again and she did some runs while I was in it. My instructor told me that I would learn no more from the class and I was ready for one-on-one instruction. Couldn't be happier! All I want to do is snowboard. It is so freeing! The adrenaline of it, it is the only distraction I've found so far that allows me entirely to not think about Colin.

I love crushes, they can feel amazing but they can also feel horrible. And even if you don't want to your thoughts are constantly roaming back to that person. It is a blessing to be able to escape my mind sometimes and just feel utterly relaxed and content. Another great mind clearing tool I benefit from is Yoga class. It was canceled last night as the instructor went away :( We'll see how crabby it makes me today that I didn't get my fix!

Saturday night turned out to be an amazing girls night! Me, Whit and my girl Hutch piled into my car and road-tripped to Saint John to stay overnight with Jen Bunny, who also had a friend over. We ended up pre-drinking at her house then heading down to the local hot spot 'O'leary's Pub'. There was a band and it was packed. Soooo much fun!

Me and Whit danced the night away on the dance floor with these two foreign students from Saudi Arabia. They were good looking, but mostly funny because they couldn't speak English well at all, or else they couldn't understand us yelling at them over the band and other normal rowdy bar sounds. I couldn't stop laughing at Whit and her guy, who kept trying to kiss her and she would be yelling "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, THREE YEARS" (and she would hold up 3 fingers in his face and he just kept ignoring her) We got many drinks and kept dancing. If ever we left to find our other gf's they would tail us like little puppies. The guy I was dancing with was pretty saweet. His name was Michelle and I kept making fun of him for it cuz it's a girls name, which doesn't make sense because my name is a boys name but whatever. He was calling me Baby all night because he couldn't pronounce my name right (Tielier). I probably said "Nobody puts Baby in a corner!" about 6 times to him....he also had this really nice hat on. He kept putting it on me and letting me wear it, so I was pumped. When we were leaving I was like "I love your hat, I want you hat" And he actually gave it to me! :) woooop for female powers of persuasion.

Here's the little gem<3






Poor guy, it is like brand new. He must have paid about $40 bucks for it. I'm the devil. Oh well, doubt I'll ever see him again haha! I win!!!!

PS Even tho Colin wasn't around that night, he was still in my head. Jen was asking me if the boys were coming over (him and his buddy Murphy) and then we just got to talking about it with the rest of the ladies. Eventually, Amanda, Jens friend, took my phone and called him so we could all hear his voice for some reason (I think I said it was one of my favorite things about him and then everyone got curious) No luck out of service area (thank god, cuz what was I going to say to him??) Then I see Hutch and Amanda texting on my phone. They managed to send him a 'semi' dirty, if not hilarious, msg. ("Hey babe are you in town tonight cause I'm not wearin anything"..BAAAHAHAHAHAHAHA so stupid) Then Jen took my phone and hilariously tried to mend the situation in her drunken state by sending another text message explaining the first. ("Hey its Jen, Tyler is wearing clothes, someone stole her phone, I am terribly sorry for the confusion, thanks for your understanding, I hope you had a wonderful night except if yuo were with your girlfriend because that sucks, anyways nice texting you, maybe ill see you again someday, maybe your friend too, if he ever learns my name! Goodbye...Ps if your girlfriend is reading this I'm awfully sorry for maybe getting you in trouble! Love jenn b." Yay, that wasn't atleast a 3 pager or anything)

Neither worked out very well....I asked him about them briefly yesterday and he didn't seem too impressed.

Anywho, Sunday was awesome too, we came home early and I decided it was time to find some new kicks aka AWESOME SNEAKERS! I went to Winners, Eastside, West 49, Source for Sports, Boathouse and finally Footlocker, where of course I found the perfect pair. They are due to arrive at my house today so I will post pictures soon. I also picked up a clearance pair of gym sneaks from Source for Sports aaaaand a new hoodie from West 49 perfect for snowboarding. Good times, can't wait to wear the new suckers. :D

Me at work in a nuclear power plant. WOOP!

*****************************REMOVED ALL PICTURES FROM THIS POST**************************** (something about me being paranoid I might get fired...)

Sooooo, like my little "About Me" says, I work at a nuclear power plant. You all know my desk is in a (usually dead silent) trailer outside, across the parking lot from any of the actual building buildings.

Yesterday I went inside the plant itself to look at a few systems and take some pictures of panels. Once I was done, I sort of roamed off on my own…. I don't get down to the plant very often and my boss encourages me to. He told me I should go for an hour everyday and just walk around and observe things and really get to know the ins and outs.

Well, this was sort of my first '1 hour solo' visit. And FYI, I totally got lost and was circling around a few of the upper levels like a chicken with her head cut off. Finally, I recognized where I was and managed to locate the stair case that leads to the security exit.

Factors that definitely helped getting me lost:
The floor is all grated metal so you can see down every level just by looking down, TERRIFYING if you are afraid of heights, LIKE ME. I'm constantly paranoid that my hard hat and safety glasses are going to tumble off. The highest level is 95 ft above sea water. Also, the floors don't have normal names, because they are less floors and more "elevations". So they use the elevation height to distinquish between them. Too bad they are all sporatic measurements. They go like 95ft,60ft, 45ft, 35ft, 20ft...I am probably missing a few but I can't remember them...

During refurb, there is maintenance going on everywhere so there is scaffolding everywhere that you literally have to climb through it and there is loads of caution tape. People working in all these different places, banging and sawing and yelling. Not to mention the usual load noises caused by the machinery running.

There is no logic to the floor or ceiling plan, so that all the giant ducts and ventilation and cabling can go anywhere. So all of a sudden the floor will end, or you will come to a temporary staircase, or ladder.

Every door is thick to be fire resistant, and made to look like you aren’t allowed to go through them. It gives you a tingly feeling that you are doing something wrong or are going to set off an alarm if you go through, so it makes it intimidating even to go through a door! (even worse if you’re already lost)

The place is crazy!

Me and guy going through some panels


Generator turbine! turned off and covered with plastic to protect it's innards from dust during refurbishment.



This was down in one of the lower levels. Huge friggin tank reheats the steam for the generator.



Huge steam ducts



View from above! I took the one and only elevator up to the highest elevation. That, again is the generator and turbines, from above this time.



Those blue things on the left are the turbine houses, what usually cover them when the generator is running. Don't they remind you of the dharma initiative?? So many things do in the plant because most of the stuff was built 30-35 years ago, especially the main control room! Full of old looking dials, meters, buttons, screens. I wanted to get pictures of it, but I thought they might frown on that...



Hee hee! Look at the little people!



ME: gotta love the nuclear green tan, eh. I swear it was a lighting coincidence, haha!



Couldn't get too close to the railing, the height was making me dizzy! This is my fake scared face, but when looking over the edge I did feel like I might just collapse over the bar.



While exploring I came upon a few of these rooms. Didn't so much want to go in there. Exposed live voltage. YUMmmmmmmmmmm.



Me being lost and silly, alone in a big old buzzing room, wherever it was...




Anyways, thought you guys might enjoy a little look into what I do (when I'm not sitting at my desk...)

famous Wine and Cheese: ABC style

So, googling ABC party costume ideas was no help. Guess I'm going to have to turn on my creative genius.
These poor girls were basically all I could find. I cut their heads off to leave them some anonymity. (and some dignity!)

I really like the feather idea! I think I could do that...I am going to keep my eye on that one. I can't even tell what the three on the right are supposed to be...

OK creative genius coming out: IDEAS plucked from my cranium, GO.

Taped together grocery bags. Haha I would do NB liquor bags.

Christmas wrapping paper! Bow and all.

A flag! (Michelle could be South Africa)

Duck tape (obvious....)

Some sort of shrubbery, vines or fake flowers. Dollar store special!

Aluminum foil. You could also somehow incorporate those foil baking pans.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND that's all I've got. Feathers is still my fav. Glue gun: FIRE!


Now, for funny things to drink out of:

a watering can
soap dish
washed out shampoo bottle
coffee pot
blender pitcher
small plastic garbage can
a bucket
sand castle making bucket
flower pot.. o shit they have holes in the bottom dont they. maybe not.
ziplock bag (Home made mini sips!!!! lmao.)
ice cream container
ash tray (EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW please buy it new!)
salt and pepper shakers

BAAAAH hilarious. I certainly have enough of those ideas. This weekend I will be heading to the dollar store and getting some supplies together. Project for craft Sunday!