Today I had a conversation with someone. This is what he said to me: “Be. Do. Have. Some people think that in order to Be happy they need to Do or Have something. But you need to realize that to Be, must come first. Once you realize that it is in your power to Be happy or Be strong or Be feisty, whatever it is you might be searching for, then whatever you Do or Have will mean so much more and be that much better.”
We live everyday wanting, needing, searching : Comfort, food, sex, shelter. We are only human and what else can be expected. Most days I live in the attempt to be validated by others. I want to look the skinniest and the prettiest and be adored and have attention. Do I feel good enough? Good enough to have earned these things? Some days. Why do we become these people who allow our emotions to be controlled by the behavior of others when that is the one thing we do not possess the power to control. We should be concerned with our selves. Am I happy? With myself? Today? Learning to be satisfied and love yourself for who you are and what you can do, this has been taught to us our entire lives. So why can’t we seem to get it?
I never really realized but this is one of my biggest struggles. If I could just be happy with myself and who I am, be satisfied with what I have and what I can do. I often feel down in the dumps over silly things like boy troubles and overeating. I’m really going to try to think positively about myself and the situations I encounter from now on and see what happens. Yes I will still be extremely sarcastic, blunt and at times bitchy – but this is part of who I am and I have people who love me for who I am. I can also be very caring and thoughtful, helpful and supportive. I am lots of things and the #1 thing I am good at is being myself. So why is that not enough and why am I so concerned with changing?