The in-FRAS-ion

I have landed in Edmonton, AB: my new homeland. I mentioned a couple of months ago I was interested in moving to AB to live with my sister, B, after graduation.

Here I am. Post-graduation. Post-I-got-JOB. Post-driving-cross-Canada-from-NB.

It's 6:30am, 9:30 Fredericton time. I am wide awake. Trying to type silently as I watch my sister sleeping 10ft away.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I MADE IT HERE FOR REAL. I remember a few years ago joking with B "O I'm going to come live with you out here after I am done school! It's gonna be da bomb." And then 3 years later  it is...has actually happened.

This is the part where I am giving all the nitty gritty details of what I did for all you nosy sods.I give you:


The Long Drive from Fredericton, NB to Edmonton, AB (a poem by Tyler Fraser)

Now since I am crazy I allowed my family to sway my decision on which route to travel to get there, even though I had googled the route and found a perfectly suitable way that was 4,404km.
This would have taken us through the United States. It would have been great.
Instead we managed to take a route that was 4,463km through Canada. This doesn't really rhyme.
The first night we stopped in Ottawa and visited my Aunt, Uncle and cousin who are awesome and we stayed overnight at their house.
It is COOL THEY HAVE A FREAKIN PET SQUIRREL WHO DOES THAT IT BIT ME
The next day we drove until we got to this little place called Hearst, Ont. where we stayed at the HoJo's.
It reminded me of my friend, Jojo.
We kept driving the next day to Winnepeg, MB where we stayed at the Comfort Inn.
We could have made it to B's the third day if we had pushed hard and driven 16hrs (yeah, no), I decided since I was being compensated for my travels by my new work that I would like to stay in another hotel, relax, shower, do my hair, etc and then finish the drive off the next day so we stayed in North Battleford, SK.
This hotel was shite, had a giant fishtank and two waterslides that looked awesomely unsafe.
Tropical Inn don't do it.

It was overall a quite enjoyable road trip with my mom. We bonded. She is weird. I am weird. We did half a cross-word. We listened to HP on audiobook. She learned the lyrics to "I'm Glad You Came" cuz I played it 20 times. I sang (yelled) so much I lost my voice Day 2.


Things I have learned about road trips:

It's hard when you have to drive and navigate while someone is talking in your ear trying to convince you you are certainly going the wrong way.

Listening to ppl snore in the car is HILARIOUS and it's really really hard not to laugh.

On road trips you eat literally the entire time. We had a constant snackage train happening. And when we didn't have anything I was bored out of my mind and thinking about what to get next.

1000 songs on your iPod is not enough.

Speeding is necessary. The speed limit through ALL of Ontario was 90km/hr. Seriously. 90?! Fuck slow down speedfreaks.

Driving windy roads = fun. Driving flat highways I just fell asleep.

Carrying bags into a hotel at night is the worst. Pack light for the little stops along the way or suffer the consequences.

Don't let your mother touch the GPS.

Animals aka Moose standing in middle of road not giving a fuck.

Ontario is one big giant farm. Also, Manitoba and Saskatchewan. I have moved to a giant farm.

What I've realized while packing to move

First of all have you guys ever looked at all the shit we have? Just a buggering ton. There is so much going on in my bedroom that I didn't realize. And then there's every other room in the house that I have crap stuck into corners.

Yesterday I packed up 3 giant bags of clothing/purses for donation. 3 HUGE BAGS. Almost too huge to carry. How did I ever collect this much clothing! I still have a dresser full. And about 15 purses/bags leftover WHICH I will be keeping. My dad was like, no. I was like, you can pry them from my cold dead hands.

Wow, I have crap. Crap upon crap. I have actually saved every charge cord I think I have ever used. I don't even know what half of them connect to. Lots of bits of paper too. Things that were important at the time, ha!

I have realized that I don't know where some important things are, like my favorite Indian head ring. I have NO IDEA WHERE IT IS am now devastated.

It kinda looks like this if you've seen it. Like, exactly like this.

Please does anyone have it. Erm, sigh.

My closet is empty. I have SO MANY EXTRA HANGERS. I don't like it. My bedroom feels somehow colder LIKE A BLACK HOLE.

I also realized I've found a ton of old t-shirts. Wicked t-shirts. More than I thought I had. And with great inspiration from my friend I am going to turn them into a QUILT/blanket thing. Tutorial HERE. Seems like a lot of work. And I think I need to buy a sewing machine. But hey! Maybe I can rent one. And I am not throwing out those shirts. Period.

Dealing with emotions, the pop-up-out-of-nowhere type

I went on a road trip to Bathurst with my friends this week. We were driving back and talking, deep conversation stuff that only seems to come out when you're exhausted and driving in a car for a long time.

Relationships, love, just anything. Somehow I got to telling the story of last summer, my life in Cape Breton, my roommate. Everything that happened. It's so far away, and separate from my life now, it just doesn't come up.

Only a few of my close friends ever even knew about Scott and everything that happened with us, and I sort of left it all in CB when I left last September. Looking back now, it really was a bigger experience than I ever gave it credit for.

I mean, look at the big picture. How many people do you really get to care for in your life?

I mean balls-to-the-wall, if-you-cry-I-cry care. Those special people who touch your life just right and make you love them, make you want them, make you better.

I can count them on one hand. And I'm not complaining. I'm a lucky one, to have loved more than one person in my 23 years. Not everyone can say that.

Scott. He was one of them. Four months. Just four months. One of which I spent hating him, one where we became friends, one where we became close and one that was inevitable and nothing less than devastating.

This entry deserves to be read through - another reason I am so thankful I keep a blog and that I am honest and that I don't hold back. It's almost like reliving it, these capsuled memories. The good, and the bad.




Back to the long drive. My friend looks at me and says: "Seems like he really meant something to you. I can tell just by the way you talk about him."

"You sure you're ready to let that go?"

"What am I going to say to him. It's not like I can just show up at his door."

"Why not?? If he showed up at yours how would it make you feel? What is there to lose."

"..."

So here I am a year later and it's there still, kinda deep and stiff from disuse but there like all great love is, and I'm not sure how to do this but I'm willing at least to try so that's something.

Nothing to lose right? Right. Though there is the gain of that utter sickness that comes with those 20 seconds of bravery.

I extend my hand in the least embarrassing form I can: THE MIGHTY TEXT MESSAGE. You might say it's lame, but I say it's safe.

Meant to say something witty. Instead all that comes out is, "Jays baseball". (??)

Cuz I clearly have an IQ of 35.

But you know what?

That was all it took. Before I had time to truly freak about what I had just done a buzzing was felt in my hand and with it a wave of ecstasy, fear, doubt, anticipation..

I'll spare you the gritty details (one, because I deleted the conversation from my phone by accident and two because...well that's really the only reason).

A friday night of catch ups: where are you living, what are you doing, how's life, etc etc. Back and forth for a good hour. Just a kick start. Just a start. A step in a direction. Just a step but oceans better than nothing.

And I thank my brave friend. Someone who's lived her life never afraid to do what she feels is right, even if she doesn't realize how strong that makes her. She who lent me that strength allowing me to take a step, to do something. To live with no regrets.

April 2012: BIG MONTH

Ok well I guess a few interesting things have happened over the past month.

WHAT AM I SAYING HOLY FUCK APRIL HOLY FUCK.

Kay Britt, I don't know if this has anything to do with a certain tarot card reading that happened over Christmas but I think that that third card I pulled has finally shown up. :D

First of all I PASSED ALL MY UNIVERSITY EXAMS AND AM OFFICIALLY GRADUATING FROM ELECTRICAL ENGINEERING. Holy holy holy crap. This in itself is...amazing. I went directly into university from high school, took a year off to work and gain some experience during my studies and now at 23 I am finally graduating. SEE YA LATER UNIVERSITY!! No more exams for me! Suck oooonnn that. It is a strange and great feeling. I am no longer a student, which means...I'm not sure, that I guess I have to be an adult now...and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

Second - about a week after I finished my exams I had an interview with an engineering consulting company in Edmonton, they offered me the job and I took it. I am officially now full time employed as an Engineer-In-Training. Also the placement is exactly where I wanted to move and turns out the building is about a 15 min walk from my sisters apartment, where I will be living. I am moving after graduation May 17th and start June 4th.

I dyed my hair purple.

And I met a boy. Well, sort of.

Books I Want To Read

I LOVE reading. But I am the most picky reader on the plan. I am really into science fiction and fantasy and my favorite books always revolve around some sort of futuristic dystopian society. I have narrowed down my list of future reads to the following. If you are interested you should join me in this reading!

The Maze Runner trilogy. I have heard a lot about this and I think they have the potential to become my all time favorite books.

The next book series I am interested in reading are the Delirium books by Lauren Oliver. Seems like they  will be right up my alley. The society in these books views the emotion of Love as a disease that is to be cured. Possibly lobotomy style. Let's hope not for their sake. 

Finally is the Shiver trilogy, which I actually got for Christmas this year! And for some reason I forgot about it because I was cleaning off my shelves today and just spotted it tucked all cozy on the top shelf! I will therefore be starting this set first and we will see how it goes from there.

Okay. That's about 8-9 books. This will take me 5 years.

What books are you guys really into reading right now?