I sit here, wind blowing my long curly hair off my face, sun-kissed shoulders exposed wearing my favorite summer dress, content.
For I have loved.
Thursday was our last day of work together, and by my previous blog, you all know I was clearly freaking. He left at 3:30 with Brendon. I didn’t make it out until 5. Reservations were for 5:30 and I had a 25 minute drive to make. After a quick get-ready session and some shots I was dropped off half hour late to a place I’ve never been. Butterflies? Yes.
I was welcomed boisterously by the boys when I walked in. A seat had been saved for me between my two favorites and I settled in quickly ordering a double long island iced tea, a poutine and a round of jager bombs.
Let’s just say that with the whole ‘being too nervous to eat at work’ thing I caught up to the boys pretty fast. 2 hours and some later we were all singing, dancing, laughing and joking at the table. It was then that an extremely inebriated Brendon leaned in and “whispered” that he’d talked to Colin about me, that Colin had told him everything (as I did) and that Colin had also told our other good student buddy Marc as well. Boy was I surprised. All this time, I’m thinking how sneaky we were being, and really, everyone who would have cared to at work knew all along. Hahaha, silly us.
By that point all secrets are being blown out the window and we’re freely speaking about the situation. It. Is. So. Liberating. And I am smiling with pride.
The plan was to go to Rockys after work.
The plan was to follow up at O’learys.
The plan was to drag our drunken hilarious asses to the local strip club around dawn.
The plan was to just fully enjoy a final night with my co-workers and then head back to my lovely friend Jojos apt for a good nights rest.
As the crowd begins to thin and people move along to the next stop Colin announces that neither I nor he will be following to the next venue.
Then we are the last sitting at the table as we bid Brendon good night. Then it’s just us and he’s staring at me smiling. And then we are kissing.
We pay, we leave, I’m taken by the hand and led a few blocks. We walk into the Delta and a room is booked.
The blurriest part of my evening, for certain, but I still remember perfectly, as we movie-style start making out in the elevator, arriving at the wrong floor twice before the bell boy waiting there suggests we try using the key to access our floor… I also remember saying thank you to him very politely. (Smiles)
We arrived at 11pm. We showered and hugged and kissed and loved and played and talked and confessed and bathed and slept together. We both knew what this was: our last song. There was no awkwardness, no secrets. Nothing left to hide of ourselves. We both gave into it and gave it all, like there would be no tomorrow, because, there wouldn’t be.
He looked in my eyes and told me he loved me. (all I’d been waiting for)
And I told him the same. He told me that he could marry me. That he could spend the rest of his life with me. He asked me if I would have moved in with him had I not been going back to school and had he not had her. I said yes. He told me how proud he was of me at work and the things I’d accomplished, how brilliant he’d found me to be and how much I’d surely succeed in life. He admitted his desire to someday go to university and become and engineer, like me, and I told him I’d always seen that ambition in him and that I thought it was beautiful.
Of the nine hours we spent together in that room little sleep was had. And the little that did was spent in each others arms. So much happened in that short instance. It felt as if time slowed, like the night was giving us more time together, allowing us to remain in our magical carriage without it reverting to its permanent pumpkin form.
It was one of the best nights of my life.
Inevitably, morning came and with it, bittersweet reality. I was due to work in Fredericton and needed to be on my way. We dressed each other for the final time. He assured me that this would not be the last we saw of each other, but I knew it would be, and I understand. We embraced and he shook my hand in farewell saying what a privilege it had been to work with me. I grabbed him by the collar and passionately kissed him one last time. And then it was goodbye.
We both knew what this was: our last song. And it was perfect.
I have loved.
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