Seems like just yesterday I timidly walked in, sitting down at an empty desk and finding myself surrounded by men. I remember the tears I cried at night my first few weeks as I felt ignored, stupid and unworthy of those men I was now working for, and I remember when I gained their respect, friendship and my confidence as a woman in the workplace.
Faces are flashing by me now as I’m getting nostalgic. People who I’ve met along the way. People who I never thought I would miss, but without a doubt will. My heart is scary full of emotions, and not just because today will be the last day I spend with him. But because this is my life now, it is what I have become accustomed too, and I love it. I love this place and I love these people with all my heart.
I’m trying to be happy today, I’m trying to be at my happiest, but I guess I can only be what I am. I should stop trying. But I’m paralyzed over the fact that this is my final day with Colin, however foolish that is. My body is literally turning against me. I have been trying to eat my lunch for, oh, the past hour and 30 minutes. My stomach is saying "NO, there’s too much other junk in here, and it’s taking up all the space...". I want to be witty today and have funny chats with him and email conversations. Every time I run into him today, I freeze, smiling and awkwardly going about my way. Haha gawd he must think I’m a real catch today. Anyways, he made up this thing where we’re all going out tonight in SJ as a “goodbye to us students” work party. We’re going to this place called Rockys’; it’s a sports bar where they sell wings and the waitresses wear skanky outfits. I’ll be the only girl, so suck it up buttercup!
I cant even pity party myself right now, I just talked to my sister who gave me a huge boost of confidence and now I am ready to face the night! Her advice: be yourself. Be your happy, go-lucky self. Thanks sis <3. You are 100% right. No body likes a party pooper, SO fun-Tyler is coming outttttt. Whu whaaaaat? This is not a Tyler/Colin farewell party. This is a work party! With my work buddies. Whom I heart. AND the fact that I ate little to no lunch will just help me get drunk faster so PLUS!
I can’t believe this is it, back to the real world, eh. What am I gonna do tomorrow.
Well...it’s been a ride
|Electrical Design Group - August 2010|
|Shout out to the best desk buddy ever! (other) Marc. Left for New Zealand last December.|
**ps I have to change my blog description now……fraaaag.