ATTACK OF THE ZOMBIE BIRD

Okay this story goes as most Tyler-Fraser stories do – if you’ve missed hearing them as much as I’ve missed telling them, then saddle up kiddies.

This friggin Magpie has been hanging out, literally, underneath my car all week. Both me and my sister have seen it. Every time we drive somewhere we are both like “Where is it! Where is it!”.

FYI If you don’t live in Alberta – this is a Magpie. The craziest bird around! They are everywhere here, like the same amount of crows pigeons and seagulls anywhere else.

Finally I got home the other day and I look behind my car and there it is lying dead basically with its tongue sticking out and little X’s over its eyes – I mean it could not have been any deader. It was 100% directly behind my tire, so I obviously ran over it (BY ACCIDENT). It was inevitable that thing was stubborn.

So I go inside and all I can think about is how I’m going to get rid of it because this is a mother of a big bird here. Big ol’fatty bird. I’d need like a shovel or something.

This morning I went out to my car to go to work and the Spawn of Satan was NOT ONLY ALIVE but RIGHT UNDER MY DOOR squawking at me! Dear god! I walked around my car expecting to see old deady lying there but the bird was GONE. Seriously. That bird was dead dead dead. And yet there it was again like friggin Pet Cemetery!! I had to turn my car alarm on to get it to hop out from under my car. 

There is only one possible explanation for this – the zombie apocalypse..has begun..beware of roadkill.