Top of the World (feat. Dev)

What a wonderful support system I have. I really do. I am very thankful. Any troubles seem a little lighter even just thinking about it.

“Maybe we should take a day and fall apart together. But, just one day. <3.” – TF

This weekend is going to be fantastic. I am leaving Friday morning which means I get to escape my 10hr 6 days a week work schedule 2 days early (BOOYAH). I will be bringing home fresh lobsters picked from the trap and cooked Thursday night for my family and as a bit of a late Father’s Day present. Cape Breton lobster is one of my new favorite foods. It is damn good. (Sry, you little ugly bastards!) Saturday night I am having a shared Birthday party with my friend and sorority sister Michelle and all our friends are coming up for it! Should be a blast. I get to see my best friends again. It’s been a while since we’ve all been in the same place at the same time and who knows how many times it will happen again as we continue to grow in our separate lives. Cherish the moment!

Sunday we are scheduled to go on a tube run down the nashwaak river where I plan on getting obscenely sun burned and in all likelihood plastered. Also will be my first time wearing my bathing suit outside this summer (summer doesn’t really exist in PH) and I am praying for sun sun sun.

The weekend was really wonderful. Friday night was a sort of a bust. Jordan me and Scott were playing board games, but then Jordan had to leave early and poo game night over. Saturday was better I invited all the girls over I have met in PH: Stacey, Amber and Amanda, and the four of us sat in my room drinking and talking and then forced Scott to drive us places. He was a good sport :) And still so very handsome. We had a good time driving around the girls in the back, he and myself up front. He’s also started teaching me to play video games. MLB 2006. He lets me ‘bat’ only. So far I have successfully hit 1 ball. I did good though, so he says. We made a delicious breakfast Sunday morning and laid around on the couch watching the movie Goodfellows in the afternoon. Then he had to work the night shift Sunday and he worked it last night as well which means I haven’t seen him for a bit. Sunday evening I was invited to see ‘Super 8’ with Amanda and her roommate Beth. It was pretty good. We ate Wendys and junkfood and shopped at Winners. I got this amazing footstool that matches my bedspread/room perfectly, some soap and a bookbag. Also the poor Winner’s cashier didn’t ring in my $30 bookbag, and I didn’t notice until we were 1hr30min away back in PH. Oh well, bonus!

Last night I got my arse kicked once again at the gym. Kevin has started making us do sprints and he says I’m pretty fast, which has to be one of the most hilarious things I’ve Ever heard. Tonight I have volleyball but it is also Scott’s first competitive baseball game (he tried out for the team a few weeks ago) and I would like to go cheer him on. (Also, seriously, my ass muscles hurt from yesterday. I don’t know how helpful I’d be on the court.) Jordan might come. Him and his gf just broke up Sunday night. Add that to the list of complications in my life.

I will keep you posted. Much love.

For What It's Worth

Work kills me. Bottom line. Sometimes in a good way. Sometimes in a bad way. When it’s good, I work so hard but it feels good and I enjoy it. When it’s bad I am still working so hard except it doesn’t feel good.

It feels frustrating and pointless! It makes me feel so stupid and question if this is the right career path for me and whether or not I can actually do it or will I just fail. I have visions of my boss saying “You don’t got the stuff, kid.”, and it is terrifying.

Then the really awful part is you want to do better but you can’t even function properly because you’re muscles have all tightened up and your worried face is stuck there and you get shaky and headachy and just think IT’S POINTLESS! I CAN’T DO IT! Side note: Plus of working at Lepreau, there were lots of woodsy walking paths I could take off on without anyone questioning me and have an all-around good emotion vent. Or, in case of serious emergency, I could call up my sister and get talked off the ridiculous ledge that I’d strayed to.

Sometimes I think I should have done something different. My mom told me once that one of her biggest regrets was that she didn’t get to do her ‘dream job’. Funnily enough, the career path she divulged to me that day that she’d always wanted to pursue, unknowing to her answer, is also my dream job: An archeologist. An anthropologist. Whatever you want to call it. I picture myself, as she did, as someone to go out on adventures finding things, traveling to far off places, exploring the past and history and culture and using my hands as well as my head. Wearing cut off khakis and loose button up shirts and bucket hats and constantly meeting new people.
 

Sometimes I think, if I work in the industry for a few years, I can make some money. You know everyone thinks engineers have such a fantastic salary. They really don’t. A base engineering job will probably get you in the high $50,000 a year. Maybe $58,000 if you’re lucky. And I know that’s nothing to snub at either but still it’s not that high.

I just don’t know. I think someday soon I will jettison off and go exploring in Egypt or someplace. 1 more year of school left and I still feel like I don’t know anything. Who would hire me? Would I hire me? When there are so many more kids out there who are sickeningly BRILLIANT while I am merely mediocre.

Is there such a thing as a quarter-life crisis?

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. (insert screaming face of choice here.)

(Later that day…)

I think I just had a slight panic attack. But I am better now. Spoken in a British accent ala Everafter (I fell off a ladder in the orchard, but I am better now)

Only 30 more minutes of work which I plan on completely squandering here, on twitter, talking out loud to myself, texting and most importantly eating stale licorice. Schedule for tonight: get home from work. eat. make tomorrows lunch. go to gym. get ass kicked. shower. go to bed. wake up. repeat til insane.

THANK GOD FOR LONG WEEKENDS. Let’s all cross our fingers that the Rapture is not going to happen on Saturday, but if it does I will likely be snuggled next to the people I LOVE cuz I’m going home for 4 days. YAY, YAY, YAY, YAY! I miss all my girly friends, my boyish friends, my kitties and my parents so much! I’m definitely a little homesick. And I miss my house. And my backyard. And my neighborhood. And my BED.

I watched Benny and Joon last night. Young Johnny Depp is hot. And spry.

PAYCE.