La Douleur Exquise!

As intolerable and annoying as my weekend began (thanks to a certain someone who couldn’t plan a decent crap to come out of his ass let alone camping trip), it turned out to be one of my favorite of the summer so far. I gleefully took Friday off of work to bring my long weekend (thank you New Brunswick Day) up to a solid 4 days. After ½ day wasted spent searching for campsites (fail) my papa suggested I ask his dad if I could set up tent by his RV on the Naswaak River. Well by golly did I ever.

But before I get to that, let me just say thank the world for this person. It is really, really great to have someone you can count on through thick and thin: Who will always listen to your pathetic tales of woe and not make you feel worse, who will be glad to throw you a pity party complete with male strippers and nintendo, who will be by your side if you ever feel the need to creep on a certain boys fb page, who will paddle upstream to rescue you when you’re stranded in a kayak and you’ve lost your paddle, and who will help you eat that pint of Ben & Jerrys (Actually that shits expensive. More like “…help you eat that mcdonalds cone..”).

*Thanks to all the ladies in my life near and far who fit this. Love love love you all.

Friday the day was spent at our favorite 1800's hangout, King's Landing! Whit and I spent the day making our way through the quaint little town. We both decided that we'd like to have been born in the past but that Whitney would marry extremely rich so that she'd never have to lift a finger and that I would likely be married to the town's store keeper and possibly own an apothecary. I took pictures of everything and the "townsfolk" just loved us! (Probably because we were neither 6 nor 75 yrs old, which seemed to be the going age for every other tourist visiting.) We had fun taking in the history, drinking in the pub (Well...drinking water. It was hot!!) and stalking the mysteriously sexy horse cart driver.

O Great Map Reader

Just call me the horse whisperer.

Holla!

Saturday was camping time! Not only did my brand new "popupable" (please see video link below) tent from Canadian Tire kick some serious ass, but my extreme camping mess turned into a beaaautiful butterfly: a surprise 2-(wo)man kayaking adventure and extremely entertaining hang out with my Grampie by the campfire. Grampie Fraser hang out time = surprisingly really fun.

Grampie and some RV action.

ALMIGHTY TENT.

Badass Golfcart.

CHEEEESE.

The Yaks.

Prob the one and only decent pic of us together. Kayaking + rapids + Vex = bad photo ops.

*I did make my own video demonstrating the awesome power of the tent, but this one is so so much better. (BTW it is totally real. I can assemble and dissemble the thing in 30 seconds flat. Pure magic. Eat that Harry Potter! Tentimus Maximus!!!)

When I finally got home Sunday I completely passed out. Woke up around dinner time with flip flops still on and dried drool on my chin. (nummmy)

Monday aka New Brunswick Day, me and the fascha took a trip to the US of A on our motorcycles. It was the most beautiful day and it was fun hanging out with my dad. We drove about 600km total and stopped about 10 times. He said we could never go anywhere for a purpose because at my stoppage rate it would take us 3 weeks to arrive.

The bikes <3

It's in the family.

Big smiles!

"How to eat my giant sandwich? Is so big!"

And mine. MONSTER CLUB.

Rest Stop in Houlton, Maine.

Today I am back at work, working hard to get everything done in time for me to leave (just 4 more weeks EEK!) And yeah, things are still complicated with what’s his name. Honestly, I don’t think I know how to function around him properly. And I don't think, in four weeks especially, I ever will. Like, the fact that I’m trying to act normal around him and treat him like I would everyone else at work is just making me act weirder towards him. I’ll never get used to the idea he’s not someone I should be treating special. It’s crazy, but I still have feelings for him and that glimmer of hope that he feels something for me forever lingers. I am totally buggered. So, depending on my mood, I find myself seesawing between writing him soppy I-miss-you emails and standoffishly ignoring him when I bump into him in the cafeteria. What must he think of me? (NUTS, BONKERS, GOOBER…) I just wanted to say goober. Can matters of the heart ever just be civilized. Stupid primal instincts/irrational hormones.

To the left, to the left.

Carry Bradshaw, you took the words right out of my mouth.

Did I ever really love Big Colin or was I addicted to the pain? The exquisite pain of wanting someone so unattainable.

Let’s end with a summer list update…


TYLER’S FREAKIN’ FANTASTIC LIST OF STUFF TO DO BEFORE SUMMERS OVA 2010 EDITION:

1. Return for the 16th time to Magic Mountain Water Park in Moncton, NB.
2. Swim in the ocean.
3. Spend a weekend by myself at my camp in Boistown, NB.
4. Invite good people to stay at my camp with me for a weekend. (This weekend!)
5. Go tenting somewhere…anywhere!
6. Go on a road trip.
7. Get my swim stroke back. (Progressing)
8. Wear my hair naturally as much as possible. (Unleash the curl!)
9. Get a natural tan. (failing at the face, but the rest of the bod is coming along nicely)
10. Wear less face make up.
11. Feel beautiful again with no make up. (when I lose 10lbs...)
12. Be a passenger in a motorboat. (Does "driver" of a kayak count?)
13. Try fishing. (I saw a fish)
14. Go hiking in Fundy.
15. Motorbike the Cabot trail in Nova Scotia with my papa. (Did go 600km! down through Maine)
16. Eat a lobster, for the first time!
17. Figure out how to get rid of stinky feet and shoes.
18. Read 4 new books (Help me out people! I’m a terrible repeat offender…need some new material)
19. Host a potluck.
20. Slowly grow out the layers in my hair until I have a long, natural blunt cut. (slowest. process. ever.)
21. Get really dirty at least once.
22. Go for a midnight swim at Kilarny Lake. (this may be problematic as it's getting really cold out at night now)
23. Surround myself with people I love, are supportive and truly care about me. (so far so good)
24. Bake a quiche.
25. Fall in love with someone worthwhile. (pff, goood luck me)

time on earth is changing

Summer's begun. Its +30 degrees and humid every day; it’s too hot for me and it’s grossing me out. Since I've been back from Edmonton, I've been feeling tired and crappy. I’ve begun swimming with my mother everyday. I really love swimming. It feels good to be moving my forgotten muscles. And it’s nice to spend time with my mom, but oh my god does she never shut up. Literally any conversation we have she’ll interrupt and turn it into an annoying pep talk: fat is the devil, and I should constantly be moving in the water because it burns calories and floating doesn’t burn calories, Tyler you shouldn’t be eating anything other than salad and chicken because everything else is just calories and that goes for dressing too, Tyler I don’t want you to drink anymore, Tyler I’m going to guilt you into staying here for 3 hours so you can lose weight, you’ll lose some of that flab if you come here everyday, see that girl Tyler, if you do this everyday you can have a figure like her, etc etc.

It’d be worth it to lose a few pounds just to get her off my back. Thing is she’ll never stop. Even if I lost 100 lbs she would say “now if you could just lose that chub off your tummy…”

Work has become this bleak place. It used to holster something magical, unreachable, a fleeting beauty. And now it’s finally dissipated. Let’s Doctor Who metaphor this:

I’m Rose Tyler and I had a perfectly happy life before the Doctor came along. Then he swept me away into his world of adventure, time travel and infinite possibility and life became that much brighter because he was in it. Well, he’s just dropped me off back at home in London, returning me to my old, now dull-in-comparison life.

I’m really ready to move on from that place, get back into school and trudge forward into whatever’s next.


Short guy update: Gary’s msging has over the past 2 months become more and more frustrating. He used to be cute and endearing when he’d tick me off, now he just makes me feel bad. Therefore I’ve jumped off the train. Deleted (or at least name changed to Being A Loserface) from my phone. I’m not expecting anything more from him in the near future. Maybe I should have put more effort into seeing him. Or maybe I should just quit it while I’m in such a state of melancholy either way.

Anyone wanna pity party with me? I’ll bring the Ben & Jerry’s, you bring the chick flick and snuggies.

I guess it wouldn’t be right to say nothing about Eclipse, after all Twilight’s never done me wrong. So, YES I saw Eclipse. TWICE. :) And I wouldn’t mind seeing it a few more times (thank you 5.99 movies on Tuesdays, Empire Theatre). Finally, the chemistry between Bella and Edward is believable. I’m Team Jacob and therefore don’t even want them to be together, but I couldn’t help but love them in this movie. Of course, I loved Jake too. In fact I thought he was the best. His acting has improved 10 fold. Favorite scenes (SPOILER ALERT): When Jake gets hurt at the end and is lying on the ground silent screaming; when he screams later in the house when Carlisle is re-breaking his bones. (Pretty sure I was tidal wave crying at this point); when he turns around because Bella asks him to kiss her, the LOOK on his face; and finally the Bella and Edward ending. I was so happy for them I was crying tears of joy and laughing out loud as the credits rolled and Metric played from the speakers. I KNOW I AM A BIG LOSER AND I DON’T CARE. THIS SHIT MAKES ME HAPPY THEREFORE I EMBRACE IT! Lol. That is all. PS I’m totally in love with a fictional character.

Seriously, I have this overwhelming desire to man hunt a guy who looks like Jacob, will protect me like him, is tough and manly and is ruggedly good looking yet caring, sensitive and wants me to be happy. Does this man exist? Cuz I’ll pay money.



In an attempt to cheer myself up I’m posting one of those “List of Summer Goals”. Most people have been writing these up and they seem fairly happy, so what can it hurt?

So with no further adieu and in no particular order…



TYLER’S FREAKIN’ FANTASTIC LIST OF STUFF TO DO BEFORE SUMMERS OVA 2010 EDITION:

1. Return for the 16th time to Magic Mountain Water Park in Moncton, NB.
2. Swim in the ocean.
3. Spend a weekend by myself at my camp in Boistown, NB.
4. Invite good people to stay at my camp with me for a weekend.
5. Go tenting somewhere…anywhere!
6. Go on a road trip.
7. Get my swim stroke back.
8. Wear my hair naturally as much as possible. (Unleash the curl!)
9. Get a natural tan.
10. Wear less face make up.
11. Feel beautiful again with no make up.
12. Be a passenger in a motorboat.
13. Try fishing.
14. Go hiking in Fundy.
15. Motorbike the Cabot trail in Nova Scotia with my papa.
16. Eat a lobster, for the first time!
17. Figure out how to get rid of stinky feet and shoes.
18. Read 4 new books (Help me out people! I’m a terrible repeat offender…need some new material)
19. Host a potluck.
20. Slowly grow out the layers in my hair until I have a long, natural blunt cut.
21. Get really dirty at least once.
22. Go for a midnight swim at Kilarny Lake.
23. Surround myself with people I love, are supportive and truly care about me.
24. Bake a quiche.
25. Fall in love with someone worthwhile.


Ciao Amigos. Xo.

Weekend wars

Alright we’ll start with an update on my HAT (below). The seller is willing to make it for me custom order style  I can’t wait to get it! I am going to wear it all summer even if it is 30 degrees. Watch me.

Friday was FSTS: Everything went really well and Andrea successfully became a sister of Iota Beta Chi. I love her name: Sister Independent!

Saturday, as predicted, it was beautiful weather. I got up (early enough), ran some errands, picked up my copy of NEW MOON, washed my car (which was pointless as its pouring rain now), and drove my motorbike around town! It was glorious, and scary, and fun, and wild, and freeing.

Saturday night there were about 10 things happening I could have gone to, but I chose my friend Keana’s birthday party! (feel special ;) cuz you are) Me, Whit and Andrea met them at the Crowne Plaza hotel for predrinks in their room and then we all headed down to Boom (the local gay bar)

HOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLYYYYYY CRAP! So Much Fun! It was a scary amount of fun. Highlights of my night: seeing Nicole! A past soro sister and one of my loves, dancing like crazy fools on the stage (thank you booze, for that), 4 for the price of 3 shots (SKITTLES = MAGIC IN MY MOUTH, SERIOUSLY I COULD DRINK 20,000), chatting it up with the lovely drag queens, trying on their heals and playing with their awesome wigs!, meeting seth rogan, or his 17 year old counterpart, and the general awesomeness that resonates throughout the place.

Amazing night. Keana: please come again soon and do the same thing.



oh and I now have 20 followers. which means that i will be doing a giveaway super soon, cuz it is the cool thing to do! (really i love them..)

does it still count if im following myself and one of my sisters is following me twice?

Week catch up

Mon mon mon mon. mon mon mon mon. mon mon mon mon. mon mon mon mon. mon mon mon mon.

Can anyone guess this song?

So! I had an amazing weekend (even though I missed out on all that good stuff that was happening) Saturday morning, me and Dad picked up the bike. Took it home in my gramps trailer, charged the battery up a bit, and even took it around the block a few times. It is PERFECT and awesome. I’ve already dedicated this weekend to cleaning it up and making it all shiny.

Saturday evening I went up to SJ to stay with Jen overnight, YAY! I was in the best mood, and we were having an amazing time….

Until…don don don…

I decided I wasn’t feeling the food court at the mall, so we went to Wendy’s instead, which happens to be right beside a Subway. Guess who was eating supper at this Subway? Come on, 3 guesses.

As we walked to the door to leave I glimpsed the familiar black ranger, and I knew it was him right away because there is a piece of tape stuck to his antenna. (I put it there, long story..) Anyways, I only saw it for a second, but I knew. I said it to Jen and she just kept me walking towards my car. He had pulled around the building and was sitting waiting for us. What are the mofucking odds.

He had recognized my car in the parking lot and had spotted us (likely stuffing our faces with POTATOES! yum) inside.

Heart racing, hands shaking, I tried to be cool. I kept thinking, this is fate: (stupid fate) we are supposed to be together tonight.

After we chatted for a bit his friend texted Jen telling us to go to his place. (Colins phone was dead) So, stupidly, I totally convinced Jen we HAD to go. And it was easy to force her, cuz I was driving lol.

I’ll get him hard, show him what I got. Can’t read my, can’t read my….

So we went, they were hanging out in his buddy's garage, and it was HORRIBLE. Such a man cave: naked women covering the walls, four wheelers, a tv showing a hockey game, a beer fridge, rickety chairs, etc. I could tell Jen was not pleased, but I was just love drunk to be around Colin again, just hanging out like we used to. (STUPID) We didn’t stay there longer then 45 min, we were meeting Jen’s boy at her apt at 10pm, but Colin said told me he would charge his phone and get a hold of me later. That they would come out to the bar and meet us there.

I was terribly excited.

We sat around JB’s drinking oldschool boones and watching Dave Chappelle. Mitch came and we convinced him to drink as well :P. Then his friend came over and then we all went out to the bar.

TWIN DARKNESS

Alas, no word from douchebag.

What a surprise he didn’t come out, he didn’t text me, he just fucked off as usual.

The next day, Sunday, I went to work bright and early as planned. He showed up around noon. Only me and him. Awkward...

I knew I wouldn’t feel any better until I said something to him, so I just did. He acted like he didn’t know what I was talking about, like he didn’t get why I was mad. I asked him what he had ended up doing and he said he went to a party somewhere in the country. (oh and he went by himself, his other friends went to the bar, a different bar then we were at, but STILL) WHAT THE FUCK. Scum, dirtbag, mo fo, piss me off, jerk, rawr rawr rawwwr! Totally DITCHED ME.

Whatever, move on, get over it.

Pa pa pa pokerface pa pa pokerface.

ok SO. this is the goal of my LIFE:

zero colin acknowledgment.

he is never going to change. i need to stop thinking about this whole situation as if he likes me as much as i like him. everything has just gone to shit. but i cant be mad at him for being who he is. it's my fault i let it affect me. he is an instigator only.

i just dont want to feel anything for him anymore, i just want it to go away, these feelings to be over. Get OUT OF ME.

the only way i can think to make it go away is to completely ignore him. like, i still chat with him and such, but i cant do that anymore. i dont want to be mean to him, but i cannot be his friend right now, or keep doing this thing we are doing (that more and more i think is merely a figment of my imagination). honestly, i dont think he will even notice. and it's sad that that thought makes me sad. im tired of being sad.

frustrating. how did i get here? how did i let it get here. i knew better. i KNOW better. how can a boy make a girl throw all sense out the window?


So far this week I have done just that. To summarize his response to my behavior (he has noticed i guess..), yesterday he stood facing me where only I could see him in the trailer. When I finally looked up at him, it was ONLY to see that he was glaring at me giving me the finger. That would be the worst. The rest of the week, whenever I do slip up and glance at him, I usually receive a pretty severe death stare.

Sweet.

Haha, you all thought it was over. It will never be over, until September when I go back to school.

Other than that this week has been quite pleasant! I got my postcard from my Happy Mail buddy. (mail is slow.) I found out who the new students are that are coming to replace me and Brendon :) so we get to train them up over the summer. My guy is someone who worked with us last year, Ali, and I really like him! Yeah!!! He is super nice, and I'm excited. The other guy I don't know.

Oh YA, I have booked tickets to visit my sister Brittany in Alberta June 24th to July 4th! FINALLY. Mon mon mon mon.

I’m super excited to see her and do crazy things. I have never been to Edmonton either, so that will be fun :D. If only I wasn’t terrified of flying, I would be good.

I am looking forward to tonight when Roro's sister, Delaney comes to visit! Hang outs!!! Thursday the Sorority is having a visit from the Founding Sister, which is quite an honour. I have never met her but am looking forward to it. She is driving down from Halifax just for us. Friday is FSTS, the final initiation of our pledges to become sisters! (yay Andrea!) and then the rest of the weekend will be a blur of motorbike, peoples birthdays and working.

2 minutes

Will leave you guys with a short one today

Monday. Enough said.

Time change = lose an hour. Hell.


Ummm, eventful work day in the I am getting loaded with more and more work and expected to have it all done sooner kind of way.


Beautiful weather, WISH I COULD BRING THE BIKE HERE ALREADY! Aside: picked up the bike saturday, EEE. already rode it around the block a few times before hands froze. will discuss further!

uh oh, my two minutes is up. im a slow typer, eh? *simpsons shout out


PAYCE mo fo's. Lifting of the skirts ceremony tonight <3. Be there. (if you are a sister of IBX and or a pledge and or alumna, that is :P)

The lowdown

This morning I had a doctors apt to get my birth control refilled. You all know what that means! That fun once a year apt…yupp. Also, funny thing, it was the first time meeting my new doctor. She shook my hand while I was awkwardly standing sideways in my open front paper gown trying not to flash her. Fortunately, she was very nice and made me feel completely comfortable.

So I worked the rest of today here in Fredericton, in Head Office. Boooooring. The most exciting thing that happened was I got to call someone I work with and get them to log on to my computer there and read me some numbers I forgot.

Alice and Wonderland - tons of crazy hype, right? Everybody just seems to be going ape shit over that movie. Even the guys, (yeah, the GUYS) at work were talking about how they tried to go see it but it was sold out and another one was going last night and blah blah. Lol. I don’t know why but I was never really excited for it at all. I ended up wanting to go to it more just so I could see what all the hub bub was about! Me and my lovely Whit went :D.

Alright, here I go.

I totally loved it! It was really really enjoyable. I liked the story and the way it was done in 3D and love love loved the characters. I found every character had their own significant part to play and they all meshed so well together. And, the Mad Hatter, played by none other than Johnny Depp, was even my favorite. Cheshire Cat coming in at a close second. What a cliché am I.

I’m feeling a bit down in the dumps for this coming weekend, because I’m missing out on some of my good friends’ life events. Ashley, who lives in Moncton, is hosting her engagement party on Saturday there. I love her and her fiancé to death, and I wish I could be there to celebrate this wonderful (if not a long time coming) point in their lives with them.

Jojo's bachelorette party is being held on Saturday night in Moncton. She is co-partying it up with another blushing bride and I know that the party is going to be crazy and amazing and I wish I could be there to stick on her fake eyelashes (oh wait..hahaha!) and feed her shots shots shots shots. Shots of love. (and booze)

Sadly, I will be working again this weekend. My dad took Saturday off and borrowed my grampies trailer so we are going to pick up my bike and bring it home. YAY!!!! Then I’ll be heading to SJ for the afternoon. Miss JB has been kind enough to extend an invitation for me to stay overnight at her place so I can go to work easily in the morning. She’s such a doll, isn’t she? I am supposed to be meeting her new beau, Mitch, and I CANNOT WAIT. Hahaha, I’ve only been hearing of him for a month now. ‘Bout time I sized him up, I think ;).

Anyways, I am excited to see her cuz I haven’t in…too long! Tonight I am having a cheap girl date with Whit, and possibly her bf Julian if he pouty-lip weasels his way into our party.
Wishing you all lovely spring weather! xo.

OH and i went for a run yesterday.. LOOKOUT

WHATA FRIGGIN NICE DAY!

It is a beautiful beautiful day here in Fredericton! About 9 degrees Celsius and not a cloud in the sky. This morning I went to the Honda dealership and paid for my new motorcycle. They all shook my hand and were like "Congratulations on being an owner" :D Mom did the same thing when I got home. I was like hmmmmm, I am an owner, aren't I? Feels pretty good! HAHA. Britt!!! I own a motorbike and you own a bus pass. Buahahahaha! I wwwwiiin! ..I love you..haha.

Then I went to the market, picked up dads Harley Davidson earrings from the repair guy and got some Betty Lee spring rolls YUM ($2.60 for 2...still working with budget...) Was going to go to the library but then realized I didn't have my card, and couldn't afford the $2 new card fee...so I went home.

My poor car seriously needed a shower after 2 weeks of driving to SJ. The carwash lineup was huge, so I brought it home, set up the hose, and washed it outside. Pretty amazing that we can wash our car outside in the beginning of March. This time last year the snow was piled up higher then my car.

Here it is all clean and shiny!

Back yard! There were kids playing next door.

 

  

In bare feet on the porch..and not a bit cold.

  

Me and Cali chillin in the kitchen. Uh, where are the cupboard doors?

  

Oh, here they are. Being painted!

  

Then Liam came out to play.

  

And by play, I mean sit. 

  

  

 

Have a lovely weekend!

xo Ms Owner