Eugh sometimes my parents make me want to off myself

Ok we all love our parents, right? Let's get that out of the way.

SOMETIMES I WANT TO KILL MY PARENTS. Sometimes they give me this...look. It says, "What are you going to do with your life?" or "Why are you sitting here? Don't you have things to do?"

I can't stand it.

My mother is retired and has no vehicle in the winter. Therefore she is 24/7 housebound. She likes to spend 99% of this time sitting in the most common part of the house watching television and more so watching over any and all going ons in the house. That means that if I want to go anywhere upstairs aka anywhere but my bedroom (the bathroom, the kitchen, leave through the front door, etc) I have to suffer through extreme mind rape. Every time I am near her she says something to me. Not normal conversation things like, 'How are you today?' or 'Any plans for tonight?'. No, I get 'You should be eating more protein' or 'Have you called the car dealership yet about your windshield?'.

Everyday. Every hour. Every time I walk by her. And you know WHAT! If I try to ignore her or tell her she is making me crazy by playing constant watch dog over my life, she gets super defensive and tells me that I am hurting her feelings.

SERIOUSLY?!?!?! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF! ARE YOU AN ADULT?! PLEASE STOP LIVING YOUR LIFE VICARIOUSLY THROUGH ME. GET OFF YOUR ASS. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE. LEAVE ME ALONE.

This is what I say to her atleast once a week. She doesn't learn.She makes excuses. She does it again. Then my dad uses this tone like he's talking to a 6 year old and tells her to stop bothering me. Seriously Dad that is almost as bad as her!! She's like my cat in that way. He's like 'ooo piece of food' and I'm like *bat* don't do that. 2 seconds later he's like 'ooo! piece of food'.

ARGH GRUMBLE ARHG SWEAR WORD KILL ME IM GOING TO COMMIT AXE MURDER GURGLE GURGLE PASSES OUT

I am going to start making a tick list on the fridge everytime she says annoying things to me. Even better I will capture the most exciting and backstabbing ones for your viewing pleasure. "Shit my mom says" Hold on to your hats everyone.