Paleo Diet 30 Days

Alright shit is going down. It's been a few months now I have been slacking diet wise and now is the time. That's the big thing about dieting. What you eat and when you exercise is 100% up to you and no amount of people encouraging you or your mother telling you to lay off the cupcakes will change your stubborn ass mind. It's a will power thing, and it's completely a you decision. When you want to do it, when you are totally ready to not drink or not buy popcorn at the movies, that is the time.

So I've had my fun the past little while, but I am ready to get back on track! A couple friends of mine have been working on the Paleo Diet, and I guess I'm going to get into the trend. I like that you can use oil for cooking and eat lots of meat and eggs (yap), the vegetables part will be an adjustment. I don't typically eat veggies that much, which is not a good thing... So this will be a good thing. Now where can I get grass-fed meat.

Step 1: Clean out the cupboard. Out of sight, out of mind. All this stuff I have packed into a stowaway basket and will save for later.
Step 2: Prepare lunches for work (so I don't end up either starving myself by not eating the whole day or going out to lunch next door and buying something)
Step 3: Ah, don't fuck it up. Ha! Stay strong!

What is the "Paleo" diet you say? I am way too lazy to explain so here's a link to some great explanations.

Paleo! Let's get ready for swimsuit season!

What I love...

I love to bike.
I love secret notes.
I love cupcakes.
I love Doctor Who.
I love trucker hats.
I love Insurgent.
Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

Exercising vs Working Out

THIS IS A BIG THING. And someone needs to tell the truth about it. So I'm going to do it. WHO's WITH ME.

(I've been watching a little too much Game of Thrones lately, maybe a little overenthusiastic with my battle cry there.)

If all of you out there thought that exercising and working out were the same thing, oh boy wait until you read this. Sometimes I get judged when people ask me if I work out or go to the gym and I say never. What they don't understand is that doesn't mean I am a 24/7 couch potato and I deserve to be the size that I am. I will explain.

I absolutely HATE going to the gym. It is so boring. Mind numbingly boring. First off, I don't enjoy being on the treadmill or elliptical doing the same thing for an hour. Watching the clock tick off in front of you second by second doesn't help. And how about you turn the television channels to something decent okay? Nobody wants to watch a riveting game of golf while they're trying to pass the time. I mean really. OH and thanks for shutting down half way through my program because I got off for more than 30 seconds to get a drink of water from the fountain. Guess that's not allowed.

Unless you really enjoy going to the gym, I honestly think it's a waste of time and actually painful to endure. Half assing anything there means you aren't actually gaining muscle or loosing weight you are dicking around and now you've wasted all that time doing your reps, cleaning the machines, driving to the actual gym and changing. Gah. Zero to low results. And then 3 weeks later you're pissed off because you didn't lose anything and you went 4 days a week for nothing. It's like studying. You say you studied ALL DAY but if you actually sat around, studied a little, went on facebook, got a coffee, talked to some friends passing, checked facebook again, studied a little bit more -  well guess what no wonder you did shit you really only studied for an hour.

Now all you people that enjoy working out and it actually works, GOOD ON YOU!!! KEEP IT UP! Seriously, it's like a miracle. I don't get it but keep doing what you're doing.

Then there is exercising. Beautiful, glorious exercising.

I exercise when I play volleyball 4 times a week. I exercise when I go skating, skiing, swimming, walk to work, walk to the bar! Exercising is what I do. I do not work out. Exercising is exhilarating, limitless, competitive, full of laughter, music, companionship, relaxation.

I proudly can say that I do not work out. But I do exercise. You are not a failure if you don't hit the gym 5 days a week.

Clarification complete.

Dealbreakers

"What r u up to?"

"Playing black ops 2 lmao"

"And I hate short type"

"FYI"

"Okay"

"The "r" and "u" drive me god damn nutty"

"Yeah.."

Let me just relate those comments to the stick up your ass. You know what I hate? ASSHOLES.

hey

how are u?

hey

how are u?

hey woman!

what's shaking?

?

we need to hang before christmas comes around!

hi?

hope i'm not pestering u lol, just trying to get in touch!

....?

u ok?

helo

hey how's it going?

hello there....!

how's work been?

we need to hang out!

hey you

hi...

hey how's it going?

you're on holidays so u have to reply lol

hey merry christmas

merry christmas!

finally a reply!

haha how's it going?

?

hey

how goes it?

hey how's it going?

hi?

/hey hows it going

?

hi

hey how's it going?

how's volleyball?

hi

hey babe

hey u never reply to me 

hi

hello..

hi

how are you?

going to church? 

hey you

hello

:| SERIOUSLY

Sonnet 116

Love and caring ruins you. This fact - it is liberating. To do what feels good. Drinking. Feeding. Sex. Crazy. Love is a ruthless game unless you play it good and right.


TAYLOR SWIFT YOU ARE SPEAKING TO MY SOUL.

Once again I am finding myself in this situation. This is me, my issue. It has to be. Where it came from, that I do not know. I have once more put myself into a situation where I am 'in love' with someone unattainable.

How to fix this: no idea. There is no possibility of removing this person from my life. And I see them in an everyday sort of capacity. The tried and true method of "Grow up and get the Fuck over it" comes to mind.

Ya. Ya this one I'm gonna do.

So - Currently Focusing:

On not thinking about this person.
About being happier with me.
About future plans and the awesomeness of them.
About possibilities for the future.

I do love this person - and that is beautiful. But it's not going to happen - and that is reality.

Weight Loss: Update

This past September I decided I felt too uncomfortable at my current weight and began a routine to help me get healthier. I haven't updated much about this, I guess I thought I was jinxing myself every time I wanted to write about it. But here I am - it's February and I have lost 50lbs.

Thas right. FITTAY.

At the beginning of September I weighed 343lbs. Today I hover around 293. I actually attained this early December, but gained about 10-15lbs over my 3 week Christmas break - during which I ate a turkey dinner ever day I do believe.

I've finally got back to where I was and am happy. But for the past few weeks have stayed at the same weight and so I'm ready to get back into my original routine.

I play volleyball 3 times a week and recently have taken up cross country and downhill skiing. This however I do not attribute to my weight loss. When I began I was playing volleyball merely once a week.

June 2012

August 2012

October 2012

December 2012

And at the end of January 2013

Just looking at these pictures now sort of baffles me. I plan on doing a post detailing exactly what I did. I could explain it here, but then this post would be a novel.


So here is me posting this, finally. I'm trying to feel brave and just get it out there. I still have a long ways to go but I am happy...er.

Life Mantras

Today I had a conversation with someone. This is what he said to me: “Be. Do. Have. Some people think that in order to Be happy they need to Do or Have something. But you need to realize that to Be, must come first. Once you realize that it is in your power to Be happy or Be strong or Be feisty, whatever it is you might be searching for, then whatever you Do or Have will mean so much more and be that much better.”

We live everyday wanting, needing, searching : Comfort, food, sex, shelter. We are only human and what else can be expected. Most days I live in the attempt to be validated by others. I want to look the skinniest and the prettiest and be adored and have attention. Do I feel good enough? Good enough to have earned these things? Some days. Why do we become these people who allow our emotions to be controlled by the behavior of others when that is the one thing we do not possess the power to control. We should be concerned with our selves. Am I happy? With myself? Today? Learning to be satisfied and love yourself for who you are and what you can do, this has been taught to us our entire lives. So why can’t we seem to get it?

I never really realized but this is one of my biggest struggles. If I could just be happy with myself and who I am, be satisfied with what I have and what I can do. I often feel down in the dumps over silly things like boy troubles and overeating. I’m really going to try to think positively about myself and the situations I encounter from now on and see what happens. Yes I will still be extremely sarcastic, blunt and at times bitchy – but this is part of who I am and I have people who love me for who I am. I can also be very caring and thoughtful, helpful and supportive. I am lots of things and the #1 thing I am good at is being myself. So why is that not enough and why am I so concerned with changing?