everybody must have a fantasy.

iTunes hates me

2012-02-12T10:05:00.001-04:00

Does anyone else have extreme trouble with iTunes?

Currently my shit list includes:

Won't properly download the new version. Fails, EVERY TIME.
If a song does not have a proper album cover my iPod is currently shows a (rather creepy) photo of the lead singer of Lights (?) in it's place. Could you get anymore random. No, iPod. That is not the cover of Flo Rida's new whip.
Points for use of the word "whip"...even though it didn't really work.

I am not a music 'connoisseur' (according to the definition I just read while googling how to spell connoisseur) so when my Music list surpasses 1000 songs it's kind of a big deal. Currently I am at 1471. That's approximately 471 songs more than I am comfortable with.

Solution: play your iTunes list, scrub out songs you don't like/why the HELL did you even download them in the first place. Oh ya, cuz they were free. (Thank you, KaZaa! You all remember that...right? I'm too old..)

Uh...where was I? Oh YA. What I found out is that 90% of the time I have downloaded the exact same song. Sometimes up to 4 times! Did I really need to download Taylor Swift - White Horse SIX TIMES.

GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, TYLER. I MEAN REALLY.

So now I spend my free time listening to the shitty shit shit that I downloaded onto my iTunes. Whoop for me.

Good day all! and Wish me luck with this endeavour.

My new favorite social media

2012-02-10T09:33:00.004-04:00

Ya man. The best social media in the land. It has become my new favorite. PS you can follow my tweets HERE!

Reasons why it is awesome:

You can creep on your favorite celebrities and it is not from a gossip mag, it is legit because it is actually them. You can actually (almost!) get to know them. It's (almost!) like you're friends! (I have been replied to by atleast THREE B-level actors. Booyah motha fucka. I'd be lying if I didn't go *SQWEEE!* when it happened.) They post real-time personal pictures of what they're doing and everything. It is the ultimate, up-to-date creep.

You can unfollow annoying people really easily. If they follow you, your tweets will still appear on their newsfeed so they can't really tell that you deleted them unless they really search through their list for you. It's (almost!) guilt-free!
It's convenient because I can read it anytime from my IPOD TOUCH (or iPhone if that's your thang). Great to keep me entertained in class when I'm supposed to be paying attention.
You get to post senseless meaningless things that you never did before! It's like everything you ever wanted to put in your facebook status but didn't because you would have to hang your head in Charlie Brown-esk shame. FREEDOM AT LAST!

Pretty much sums it up. Follow me bitches. Get it. Now.

It's time to breakup

2012-02-06T17:43:00.001-04:00

I have been a professional relationship watcher for about 2 years now. And let me tell you, I am getting pretttttty good. I pride myself on being able to look at both sides unbiased and come to simple conclusions as to whether I think a couple will last or should seriously just break up.

WELL

Let me tell you I've now had a first hand experience. I have realized I am unhappy in my own relationship. There. I said it.

Mom, Dad, I love you. But we have to break up.

I was looking in my mirror and thinking to myself and the thought just kind of exploded in my mind. Like, I knew it was there all along, but it kind of hid in the back and never drew attention to itself so I never noticed it before. I just thought, this is what it must feel like when someone in a long term relationship realizes they're no longer happy. And there it was, and I knew it was the truth.

I have lived at home for basically my entire life and am about 3 months away from ~~graduating~~ escaping University and my home town. It only makes sense that I lived at home through my expensive university degree since my house is about 15 minutes away from campus and both my sisters did the same before me BUT I am feeling the need to grab my gear and run as fast and as far away as I can. I am restless and unhappy with my familiar routine and have decided that I am ready to break out and begin a new adventure in life.

I want to learn, cry, love and f*ck my heart out, somewhere new and on my own terms.

...and to live.

Old School Memories...Literally.

2012-02-03T10:03:00.004-04:00

After a 20 minute chat with an old friend I met in first year I can't help but reminisce earlier years.

I was once a daredevil. I find myself more and more introverted as the years pass keeping more to myself and my trusted group of friends.

Cue first year university. I walked into Engineering Orientation 6 years ago knowing no one. Did that stop me? HA.

I walked into the auditorium alone, looked around, spotted the best looking guy and settled down beside him. I introduced myself and began explaining how I knew no one and he was so nice. Not two minutes later, his 2 friends arrived to sit down with him. And I had made my first bunch of engineering friends.

Over the years we've been in each others classes (less in recent years as none were in electrical engineering). Probably my favorite memory was from Geology class. We were sitting in an auditorium and Keith fell asleep with his head on my shoulder. God love im. It was the cutest thing. All a blur of boat races, Dragon Ball Z, pizza, homework assignments, metal concerts and video games in residence. First Year university love.

6 years later, through piles of homework, stolen kisses in res doorways and growing up I can still call that boy I first talked to a good friend. It is a rare thing and I am really just so glad I was brave enough to make that move on my own and talk to someone.

Be brave. Don't hesitate. It's worth it.

From left to right, Keith (guitar), Stuart, Aaron, Carlos. My room first year.

Favorite (and Healthy) Snacks!

2012-01-26T16:11:00.006-04:00

Hey guys! I just wanted to share some of my favourite healthy snacks that I enjoy to keep me going.

Some of them seem obvious but when you are sitting there watching TV thinking, "I'm hungry...burger...I want chips." you just don't think about how delicious pineapple is. CUZ IT IS!!! Check back here and remember all these goodies and how tasty they are! And maybe even create a list for yourself to keep on the fridge or pinned in the cupboard at home. Every little thing helps!

First, there is fruit. My favorite easy snack fruits are:

tangerines
purple grapes
gala apples

pineapple
watermelon

I always try to keep fresh fruit on hand. If you don't have it in the house you WILL turn to that box of KD in the cupboard.

OK LETS BE HONEST FRUIT IS KINDA boring.

Let's move onto something more exciting...

Healthy Choice Fudge bars

These are surprisingly delicious and they are BIG. Only 2 Weight Watchers points each. FANTASTIC. So far I have only been able to find them at Costco.

If you are anything like me then you need...boundaries? I do well with snacks pre-packaged in appropriate serving sizes. Some of my favorites are:

Weight Watchers Popped Barbecue crisps. These are nommy and I like to eat them with a little Phili Light cream cheese. Doesn't even taste like you are eating a "health food". And isn't that really the ultimate goal here? AM I RIGHT.

Let's see what else, oh I also love Smartfood mini packs and Cheetos.

These kind of things are also great to stick in your bag when you are heading to school or the library to study. You'll be saved from buying that expensive treat at the Caf.

Weirdly, I quite enjoy diet sodas for treats! I never drank soda before in my house but I ate out so much I find myself missing it nowadays. I found myself looking for more exciting additions to the food I can eat and these sodas just spice it up a little. Zero points for diet sodas!

Diet sodas are also great to use for drink mix ;0 If you're having a fun girly night and y'all decide to indulge, instead of your regular chocolate treat try reaching for dark chocolate. It's no less fattening but it has much better health benefits. Avoid granola bars! They are just like eating chocolate bars, so bad for you!

Another delicious snack I like to make are SMOOTHIES! Fruit smoothies to be specific. My mom used to make these for me as a treat, and now I do the same for myself! I use frozen fruit (usually raspberries), skim milk, splenda and a tsp of vanilla extract. Mix it up until its relatively smooth and then yum yum delish. I like to eat it with a spoon!!

Some ideas I am looking to try are: apples and peanut butter, using fat free vanilla yogurt as a dip and possibly even mixing up veggies in my smoothies (as long as I can't taste them!).

What are some of your favorite healthy snack foods??? Share with me!!

girl crush

2012-01-22T12:00:00.000-04:00

Forever 21 Canada Haul

2012-01-19T12:00:00.004-04:00

Hi Everybody! Just wanted to show off the goodies I got from Forever21 Canada online. You know how I love promoting the joys of online shopping. Enjoy!

Haha! I meant "I look like I'm graduating, aka wearing a graduation hat."

PS I am really into vlogging all of a sudden since I realized my laptop has a camera on it. Beware! PPS Playlist is on the other side that I point. Cuz the camera inverts everything baha. PPPS All I can see is my chipped nail polish! Ahhh.

Im sorry this shit is too funny

2012-01-18T10:11:00.004-04:00

TWINZIES!

Sometimes

2012-01-16T09:18:00.000-04:00

Sometimes... you just really feel like getting prettied up, even if you are wearing glasses.

You want to go out and you want to dance.

Sometimes... you will go to a party where you know no one at all. You're nervous and you think OMG I know no one.

But then instead of complaining you put on a smile and try to enjoy yourself.

Then, you realize you really are enjoying yourself.

Sometimes... you decide to go to iRock dance bar even though you feel waaay too old.

And just when you think there's no cute available guys left out there in the world, a really handsome, non-douchbag starts talking to you. (Glasses...they work.)

Sometimes... you find your friends in the most unexpected places, and it makes you SUPER EXCITED!

And sometimes... just when you think the worst has happened, you get over it.

Sometimes...your friend tells the bouncer he's a mother fucker and it's really, really funny.

And finally...

Sometimes... if you wiggle your toes in the morning while sleeping on the pull out the cat will attack your feet.

New glasses in a video!

2012-01-14T12:00:00.001-04:00

Hey urbody...LOOK IT I DID A VIDEO! Now, watch it.

Haha, wasn't that fun?! I just realized I had a camera on my laptop so I wanted to try it out PLUS I got to show you all my new glasses. Maybe I will post more videos, that one was kinda fun to do! Next time I might even dress up a little, get out of my pajamas and maybe even turn the proper light on :P

xoxo Tyler

This or That v.1

2012-01-12T12:00:00.001-04:00

Coke or Pepsi? I do not like either! Seriously I detest them. But since I started drinking diet soda, Coke is the most popular at restaurants so I would prefer I guess diet Coke.

Ice cream or frozen yogurt? I do love ice cream but I would have to say frozen yogurt because it is healthier and just as tasty!

Clothes or makeup? Ummm...toss up! This is a hard one. I really like to wear clothing I feel confident and comfortable in, but make up can really make or break a look in my opinion. When I see a girl and she has cute rosy cheeks and long dark eyelashes I'm like, she takes care of herself.

Hairspray or frizz lotion? I honestly am not a big hairspray user but I never use frizz lotion, so hairspray wins. I think a good oil heat hair protector is a must have. I rub it into the ends of my damp hair. It makes my hair much smoother and less tangly. The one I am currently using was a gift and i love it! Redken Smooth Down Heat Glide protective smoother for very dry/unruly hair.

T.V or book? I do love a good book and I love to read but I must say I love love love watching a good television show. I prefer having the entire season or series and watching them all in a row.

Pool or beach? Pool. The beach is beautiful but water animals kinda freak me out! And so does dark water. WHAT'S DOWN THERE?!

Water or soda? Erm..water! or even better, Iced Tea!

Sandals or boots? I love sandals. I would wear flip flops all year long if I could.

Purse or backpack? Haha! Is this even a question? Purse. CUTE purse!!

Team Jacob or Team Edward? Team Jacob all the way books and movie. But especially in the books! Oh poor Jacob.

Wizards of Waverly Place or Hannah Montana? W of WP because Selena Gomez is the shit. She is hilarious and gorgeous!

Mall or online shopping? I LOVE online shopping because there is such a wide variety and nowadays shipping is almost always fast and free. Some of my favorite online shops are Forever21 Canada, Urban Outfitters and Old Navy.

Tennis or soccer? Soccer, I played it for years and years when I was younger! Lots of fun! The best part was my Dad was always my soccer coach. Even my Mom was one year!

MAC or Maybelline? Humm hmmm. MAC, but I only like a few products...like paint pots and pigments. (They last forever! and I use them all the time.)

This goes out to all those with room-mate frustrations.

2012-01-11T10:00:00.001-04:00

Do you ever wish you lived alone sometimes?

Technically, my room mates are my parents. That doesn't make them any less 'I want to kill you'.

Issue:
I buy 80% of the groceries at my house because my Mother doesn't leave the house/has no money and my Dad is useless in these matters. I am fairly certain he has never gotten proper groceries in his life. He would live off of coffee, milk, eggs and peanut butter if he was alone. And I don't just mean groceries, I mean toiletries, garbage bags, kitty litter, cat food, etc. This was never really an issue, as I have become fairly used to it over the years. But at least at that time my parents would purchase the bigger ticket items like meat and milk (which I DO NOT drink!) Nope. No everyday it's like "Tyler, bring this home...Tyler pick up this...". And if I don't get it, it won't be got. Currently, we have no garbage bags, no meat in the house other than the hamburger meat and turkey I bought...and that's about it. No fruits, no veggies cept for some carrots. We have mayonaise!! and bread! Yum Yum mayo sandwich, :|

Issue:
Being told what to do or eat.

Example: I come home last night from a full day. It's 9 o'clock, I have not had proper supper yet. I sit down with my Mother to be nice and have a little chat. I comment how I wish there was something to eat because I am hungry. She proceeds to tell me how I am eating too much food lately...WHILE STUFFING FACE WITH CRACKERS AND CHEESE IN FRONT OF ME. When I point this fact out to her she then counters with and that I eat too late at night. AGAIN, PLEASE TAKE EXAMPLE OF YOURSELF. Then she proceeds to tell me that that is her supper. I'm like, even better. Yupp. My mother the diabetic eating crackers and cheese for dinner at 9 o'clock when she has been home all day. Great example, Mom. Thanks for the criticism and have a lovely evening! So so glad I stopped by to have this little chat. *Cue stomp off downstairs.

Issue:
Being harassed when I don't give a play by play of where I am going when I leave the house, and getting yelled at when I come home late. Pssst..I am 23 years old. And it's my car...

What kind of Issues do you have with your room mates??

NEW PLAYLIST (to your right)

2012-01-08T23:23:00.002-04:00

For the blogger who has nothing to blog about! I give you, 50 FUN FACTS..YA! Go! Read it! Now. Please.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
About 11:30am! Call me the sleep in queen.

2. How do you like your steak?
Medium Rare

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
I recently saw The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Sherlock Holmes

4. What is your favourite TV show?
Currently my favorite show would probably be the Vampire Diaries…BUT my all time favorite is definitely Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I swear it is a coincidence about the vampire part!

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
O wow. I think it would have to be somewhere down southern USA. I know I would just love it there.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
Firstly I LOVE breakfast. That shit is good! Typical breakfast: 2 eggs over hard, a slice of ham and some toast. Deelish.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
I love homemade potluck foods like taco salad and weird dips. Home-y food. Also I like GREEK!

8. What foods do you dislike?
I HATE beets. One time my mom made me eat them. My body literally rejected them and I threw up on the kitchen table!

9. Favorite Place to Eat?
Ummm…I would have to say Dimitris Greek restaurant.

10. Favorite dressing?
Presidents Choice light Ranch dressing. It is the best Ranch dressing around.

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
A 2010 Hyundai Accent! My baby girl!

12. What are your favorite clothes?
Oooo I love clothes…probably a black draping sweater with a pretty top and skinny jeans.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Down south, Europe, Scotland, Egypt.

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
This is a dumb question.

15. Where would you want to retire?
Down south. I want to learn to hunt my dinner!!!

16. Favorite time of day?
That relaxing time you spend right before bed when you are alone and comfy and not stressed.

17. Where were you born?
Fredericton, New Brunswick Canada!

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Baseball I would have to say

19. Who do you think will not tag you back?
This seems silly.

20. Person you expect to tag you back first?
SILLIER! (is that a word? It doesn’t look like one…)

21. Who are you most curious about their responses to this?
Beow chicka wow Wow!

22. Bird watcher?
Oh for sure.

23. Are you a morning person or a night person?
I’m a sleeping person…

24. Do you have any pets?
Why yes! Two fatty cats! Cali and Liam. Loves.

25. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share?
Hmmm! I am recently engaged!!!!*

26. What did you want to be when you were little?
A Doctor/Ballerina. Yupp. That was it.

27. What is your best childhood memory?
I have no memory, if you know me you know this. One memory I have is of my grampie, just me and him and I am on his lap downstairs at my old grandparents house. He died when I was 3.

29. Are you married?
DID YOU NOT READ MY ANSWER FROM BEFORE?!

30. Always wear your seat belt?
Yeah, people be crazy.

31. Been in a car accident?
Yes. They suck. A lot.

32. Any pet peeves?
Shitty drivers, strangers who stand in my personal space.

33. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Mushrooms, onions and green peppers! I hate extra meat…gross!

34. Favorite Flower?
Oh geez, cherry blossoms. I just love the trees.

35. Favorite ice cream?
3 way tie! Chocolate chip cookie dough, cotton candy and mint chip fudge!

36. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Wendys. That shit is good.

37. How many times did you fail your driver’s test?
I never failed. Car or motorcycle!

38. From whom did you get your last email?
Elle&Blair. They rock! Google them!

39. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
Urban Outfitters. OR TARGET OR IKEA but we don’t have those. Sad face.

40. Do anything spontaneous lately?
Not particularly. Asked a cute guy to be my partner for a class project this semester? Does that count?

41. Like your job?
I am a STUDENT! For 3 more months dammit!

42. Broccoli?
Schmoccoli. Not enough people like broccoli, but I think its ok.

43. What was your favorite vacation?
Camping trips with my family when I was younger!

44. Last person you went out to dinner with?
My sister Brittany. Eastside Marios Yum!!

45. What are you listening to right now?
All Love – Ingrid Michaelson

46. What is your favorite color?
Black and white.

47. How many tattoos do you have?
None cuz I am a priss!

48. How many are you tagging for this quiz?
Is this a quiz? THIS IS STRESSING ME OUT.

49. Coffee Drinker?
No sir. Also tea is gross. Just sayin.

50. Are you in love?
Not in the least. Le sigh.

*Just kidding!

It's in the cards

2012-01-05T10:52:00.000-04:00

The holidays are over and school has begun again. I am nearing the end...May graduation. Not ready for real world action. Have decided* am moving to Edmonton to live with my sister as soon as I'm finished. This is to avoid getting a real job and growing up.

*This is one of those things you say and hope happens but probably won't.

Also, maybe there will be some hotties there, cuz there certainly are none around here. Except for those handsome boys on my television screen (thank you Vampire Diaries).

Getting up at 7am is torture. I did not miss 8:30am classes. Kill me...

Christmas was pretty awesome...a little too much family but it only happens once a year. Not really much of a vacation, more like a 2 week long exhaustive family visit.

My sister read my tarot cards and it was freakayy. She read me twice using two different decks. I ended up picking the same card (from a shuffled pile laid out in front of me) for myself both times. There are over 50 different cards in each deck to give you an idea of the odds of that happening.

Ya, THANKS Tarot cards. Stupid Six of Cups. LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW ALREADY!

A very merry harry potter christmas to you all.

CHRISTMAS QUESTIONNAIRE

2011-12-16T08:00:00.000-04:00

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags?
oh my EFF no question. unwrapping presents is one of my deepest pleasures.

2. Real tree or Artificial?
we have an artificial tree right now. in the future i plan on having a house large enough to contain atleast 3 full size christmas trees. i will have one real and the rest artificial. nothing beats that fresh pine smell.
3. When do you put up the tree?
december

4. When do you take the tree down?
jan 1st usually. so sad!

5. Do you like eggnog?
YES

6. Favorite gift received as a child?
HARD question. The only thing I can remember right now was a sliding saucer. it was AWESOME.

7. Do you have a nativity scene?
multiple

8. Hardest person to buy for?
my sisters!

9. Easiest person to buy for?
my parents

10. Mail or email Christmas cards?
Mail them out! this is the first year I have sent christmas cards. im such an adult!

11. Worst Christmas gift you ever received?
Hmmm...I can't remember if it was a christmas present or a birthday present but it was from one of my best friends at the time (so I thought). It was this ugly skin colored tank top from old navy that looked like it had been scraped out of the bargain bin ??? It had no thought in it at all. And no one would ever wear it. I was so upset because I had put a LOT of effort into her gift that year. She obviously didn't give a hoot. PS we aren't friends now, BECAUSE OF THIS. no not because of this at all haha.

12. Favorite Christmas Movie?
A Christmas Story...hands down.

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas?
Errr...end of November. But I like to shop all through December.

14. Ever recycled a Christmas present?
Uh, no I don't think so!

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas?
CHRISTMAS MORNING QUICHE! Every year we have breakfast at my grandmothers and one of the breakfast foods are these delicious quiche from M&M's meat shop. Apparently I am the only one who likes them (even though everyone seems to eat them ha!) but I firmly believe all people should learn to love delicious eggs!!!

16. Clear lights or colored on the tree?
I love traditional fun trees so COLORED all the way.

17. Favorite Christmas song?
All I Want for Christmas is You - Mariah Carey or Deck the Halls - SheDaisy

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home?
Christmas is where the family is! HOME!

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeer?
Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen, Comit, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen. and Rudolf of course.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star?
Angel (with a broken wing for realz)

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning?
Christmas morning! Santa delivers them during the night after all.

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year?
It co-insides with exam season.

23. Favorite ornament, theme, or color?
It is kind of silly but my parents have a lot of personalized ornaments with our names on them and I just love that. It's so fun having an ornament that says Tyler!

24. What do you want for Christmas this year?
O phoeee lots of things please see two posts previous. For now I just wish for my family to have a stress free, happy christmas (for once? please?)...and thats all im going to say about that.

MERRY MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!

What I Ate Wednesday

2011-12-14T08:00:00.001-04:00

This is my second time doing this!

Here goes...

For breakfast I made my classic numiness (But with THREE tangerines this time. LOOK OUT!)
2 large eggs, 2 pieces of weight watchers white bread, 1 tsp butter on toast, extra lean ham and 3 tangerines + glass of water. VERY DELICIOUS! (12 Weight Watchers points)

For lunch I had this meal: TUNA IS DEEEELICIOUS and nutritious. I started eating it before I remembered to take a picture. So hungry! Ha ha. Ok, I use flaked white tuna and mix it with low cal miracle whip and veggies. Today I added chopped green pepper, onions and celery. NUM! Again on weight watchers white bread. Then I filled the rest of my tummy with a normous pickle and veggies and phili dill pickle dip (my fav).

Then I wanted something sweet so I ate these, Weight Watcher Cinnamon...crisps? 2 points a sachel.

So point total for lunch: tuna sandwich 5 or 6 pts, phili dip 5 points, and sweets 2 points for a total of 13!

For dinner I had this THANKS MOM!

Instant rice from a CAN lol it was good and a pork chop. This meal also totalled 13 points.

So there you have it! Link up and post your own what I ate Wednesday!

Tyler's Wish List!

2011-12-12T08:00:00.000-04:00

OKAY! Let's go crazy with Christmas presents!

What is on my wish list this year? Well this year I have really been trending towards books. Books related...anything books I would really like. Also beauty products and moisturisers. I LOVE to moisturise. A couple times a day at least on my face. For some reason when I don't wear makeup my face gets dryer easier. And I have been being a lazy pants when it comes to make up wearing for the past few months.

Baking! I have only just TONIGHT baked cookies that are not a fail. They are actually delicious! They are called Reverse Chocolate Chip cookies. They are made with cocoa powder to choco-tise the dough and white chocolate chips. I left out 1/4 cup flour from the recipe.. I am a big fan of no flour. I find when I make a batch of cookies with too much flour that is all I can taste. Any fun recipe books or tools (cookie cutters, fun baking kits)

Without further ado...

The Shiver book series. I've heard that if you like Twilight you'll like these. There are three books in the series and I cannot wait to read them!

A book holder! This is the only picture I could find using google but there is one from Chapters that is really nice...I believe it is called a lap book. I want to use it, mostly for reading in the bathroom so I stop getting my books wet and ruining them but it would also be nice for reading at the table!

Book ends. SNAZZY book ends. That are strong and heavy. Friggin books needa stay up! These are from Chapters. Sooooo cute!

Dearest of Santas, please please bring me enough stocking money to splurge on these $209 glasses. Cuz they are awesome. And it is about time I bought myself a pair of legit sunglasses more expensive then $4...

A digital food scale so that I can weigh my food properly...President's Choice brand sells them at the Superstore! My friend has one and I love love love it. There's a fancy bamboo one at Walmart as well.

A digital scale for MYSELF! I have a wonky needle one that goes +- 5 pounds for no reason at all and is impossible to read unless you bend over. I have no idea where you can get one of these but it would have to run over 300lbs to work for me! Probably one of the cheaper ones wouldn't work.

DKNY PURE perfume

A Maneki Neko (Lucky Cat) I love these little buggers. I have a tiny one that I keep on my vanity but I would love to get a big one!

A rolling pin to facilitate my extreme bakingness! (Hopefully it will add to my extreme skill)

That about wraps it up for this years Tyler Wish List.

A few other tidbits include - ANYTHING from Sephora (Urban Decay, Benefit, Sephora brand), Gum (a minty flavour), Magazines (Nylon, Cosmo, Elle), Ferrero Rocher!

What are you all wishing for this Christmas???

Rainbows! and Awesomeness

2011-12-11T12:35:00.001-04:00

This happened the other day. It was so bright at first, and you could see the entire arc end to end. I ran in the house and got my ma and we both went out and watched it fade (and I snapped some photos QUICK). It only lasted about 4 minutes. So beautiful.

This I took a couple weeks ago now but always MEANT to post it so I am...

Please be sure to listen to my hilarious father and excuse my sickness...I definitely had a stuffed nose and am caveman mouthbreathing the entire time. But it was a great moment to capture!

That video took FOREVER to load! Okaaai check ya later

Breaking Dawn Pt 1: A Review

2011-11-28T20:42:00.000-04:00

Ya, if you haven't seen it yet stop reading now. Come back once you have. I want to know your thoughts.

Giant movie poster to block your view of my text!

Ok, here goes: (I comment best in point form)

Firstly, know I am a fan of the Twilight book series. I am therefore a fan of the movies. I am a biased party.

1. I was most upset that Bella did not spew a fountain of blood when her placenta detached. I had been looking forward to that moment since first reading the book, the moment when the movies would actually get really gruesome.

2. On the note of Bella's pregnancy, I never thought the movie would go that long. I am so excited that they won't be wasting half of the next movie on the "birthing" scene.

3. I approve of Jacob taking his shirt off for the camera within 2 minutes of the movie starting. Hubba.

4. The music for this movie was really disappointing. There was nothing memorable, except for the songs they reused from the previous movies (PS if you are going to reuse songs, at least reuse the good ones...)

5. There was a lot of good laughs in this one. There were also a lot of parts that were supposed to be serious but instead caused awkward laughter. Not so good...

6. There was a ton of Jacob in this movie (WOO!) even though it was supposed to be mostly about Bella and Edward...guess that needed to make it fair since in the New Moon book there was no Edward but somehow he ended up in the movie the whole time...

7. Bella's emaciated body was so well done. She really looked like she was going to die. Better than I could have imagined.

8. Bella's wedding hair/makeup was very under played. The book describes her as looking like a whole new woman but she looked more like a 18 yr old going on a date. A messy bun with a braid in the front and some eyeliner? Really?

9. The room was entirely not bloody enough for a person getting a child bitten out of them. Especially when the person in question had also been on a strict blood diet. MORE GRUESOME SCREW PG RATINGS.

10. Irina's character really bugged me. She is played by that annoying blond who got killed off of Lost season one. Didn't like her then...don't like her now.

11. If you thought Bella was a weak, shy, self concious girl with no confidence or self esteem in the book then this movie will amplify that viewpoint. OMG, simmer on the shaking chick...I would not be friends with this girl in real life.

12. Overall I enjoyed the movie. It was not my favorite...but I can't tell you without watching it a few more times if it was my least favorite or not. My favorite book was New Moon and Breaking Dawn was my least favorite book and so far New Moon has been my favorite movie so...we'll see. My enjoyment would probably have been 150% more if I hadn't been seated in front of the most annoying people in the world who didn't shut up the entire time and laughed during inappropriate moments. I can tell you I am extremely excited for Breaking Dawn Pt2. All vampire...all the time. Can't wait.

PS: The Harry Potter movies kick the shit out of Twilight. Sorry, but so true!

What I Ate Wednesday

2011-11-23T17:26:00.000-04:00

I am joining the club! The...

...Club!

Today was a pretty average day routine wise but it was busy. I snack alot more when I have nothing to do... Also since I am on Weight Watchers, I will let you know all the weight watcher point values for everything!

For breakfast...round 10:30am (I slept in laaaate! but I looove me some breakfast.)

YUM YUM YUM! 2 large eggs (5 pts), 2 pieces of Weight Watchers white bread (2 pts), butter on the bread (approx. 2 tsp = 2 pts), 1 slice extra lean ham (3 pts), 2 tangerines (0 pts) and a tall glass of water! (also 0 pts) That is a very very typical breakfast for me. One of my favorite breakfasts actually!

Here it is cooking...I was bored so I took some photos...

The snow outside...

And my dad being WEIRD!

So that's (a delicious!) breakfast at a total of 12 pts.

I had class at 12:30pm and then a massage therapy apt. so I was home by around 3:30pm and starving! I ate this:

Homemade shepards pie of sorts (thanks Mom!) and a heap of homemade coleslaw. The coleslaw was 4pts and the pie I approximated at 10pts.

I also had some veggies (0 pts) and dip (5 pts). If you have been counting I'm up to 19 more pts! 31 pts total used. For my size/age I have a daily limit of 54 pts, plus an extra 49 pts to use spread out over the whole week. I can also gain exercise points.

I am hanging out now with a full belly. Ahhhh my belllaaaay. Food soooo good.

I am heading to my Weight Watchers meeting for 6pm, then getting MY HAIR CUT at 7 (SO EXCITED!) and finally am meeting with my bestie to see Breaking Dawn. I have 23 points left for my day and plan to consume them entirely in the form of Empire Theatre popcorn. Mmmmmmmmmm! The movies just aren't the same without it!

Hope you enjoyed a peak into my day and it's yummyness! (cuz it was GOOD)

Chill in the air...

2011-11-21T18:42:00.000-04:00

This semester is coming quickly to a close. And life goes on. Soon enough I will be out of school and thrust into the real world. Adult. Gulp. Not ready! Next weekend is our Sorority's Initiation Weekend and I cannot wait. This will be my second to last as acting President and just thinking about graduating and moving on from my University lifestyle is terrifying me.

Some things I have noticed lately: school is getting more and more boring, some people in my life are getting more and more immature and some ghosts of my past seem never to be disappearing. In all of this, I am very much missing one best friend of mine. Hopefully seeing her this week.

Good times Friday night pre-drinking @ K, M & N's place for our IBChi Superhero pubcrawl.

Winter has arrived in Fredericton and it is officially freezing. I miss Fall! Oh dear I miss it. Chilly enough out to wear a sweater but not bitter enough to break out the ol'winter jacket. I find myself getting into my winter routine...body covering pajamas, thick socks, drinking lots of hot cocoa and taking lots of steaming hot baths!

What I need: To study law...eugh...for my midterm tomorrow. To keep steady on my Weight Watchers program. To clean the clutter out of my room, it hurts to look at! To get my hair cut. To adult-nap and seduce Ed Westwick.

(Who's immature now! lol)

PS check it..new playlist to your right.

Fall cleaning, anyone?

2011-11-17T10:11:00.000-04:00

You know those jeans that used to be your favourite 3 years ago but then developed holes in undesirable places but you still couldn't get rid of them because they fit your ass so well! Ya, I just found 5 pairs tucked at the bottom of my pants drawer. For some reason I was convinced that if I left them in this familiar, dark place long enough they would eventually regenerate. Unfortunately the only thing they've developed is an over abundance of front crotch material. Not attractive.

So, fair to say it's time to throw them out? Right? (They won't actually regenerate...right? They were once SO awesome!)

I'm going through similar issues with my mountain like pile of shoes right now. I never used to be into shoe buying (only recently really) so I kept my shoes from year to year and wore them into the ground. Like, there's a hole mid-center on the bottom now so I can't wear these when it's wet out anymore, but they're still good! kind of run into the ground. Alas, I think it's time to let go.

I always feel bad throwing clothes or shoes away. I often give anything of mine I'm getting rid of to a charity. But honestly, I don't think they want my old stanky, full of holes shoes. I just hate to see them in the garbage though. It's so final. Poor shoesies, you break my heart!

Share time!

My new cute and comfy favourite of underwear:

This for winter...

This for my hair...

For my feet...

And for my mind...

Sometimes I make stuff: Earring holder

2011-11-03T09:00:00.000-03:00

I saw this on someone's blog (whoops! do not remember who...er) and I thought what an easy thing to put together. I love organization and this was perfect to keep all my hanging earrings on display and out of the box kept in my dressing table drawer.

I started by getting some old frames from my local anti-poverty store

I ripped out the...interesting contents.

I bought a few feet of 99 cent screen material from the local hardware store

I painted the frames my most favorite of colors and let them dry. I used standard bulletin board tacks to place the cut screen tightly on the back of the frames. I then used my glue gun to secure it down and removed the tacks.

Voila! The finished product. And my earrings on display.

Doctor Who/Buffy the Vampire Slayer mash-up awesomeness

2011-11-02T10:34:00.001-03:00

H&M Lurv

2011-11-01T12:11:00.000-03:00

click me

The women of vampires

2011-10-30T08:00:00.000-03:00

Cuz you might not like them but you gotta admit they kinda kick ass...

Vampira
Pam
Katherine
Druscilla
Jessica
Claudia
Caroline
Victoria
Selene
Darla

Who is your favorite female vampire character?

A little second hand magic

2011-10-27T09:00:00.021-03:00

THIS is the spot for used goods in Fredericton.

Got me a few thangs...

Long brown leather coat, perfect for my Buffy the Vampire Slayer costume!

O. And life size Furby costume. Nuff said.

Next mission: Christmas sweater for Sorority 'Ugly Christmas Sweater' Party.

The Secret Circle vs. Vampire Diaries

2011-10-24T11:15:00.001-03:00

So, I am a huge Vampire Diaries fan (atic). I love love love the show.

I love the main character, Elena. She is so believable in her role. Honestly I love all the roles (I mean Caroline, come on she is fantastic) but she is my #1. I love the story line of the show. I enjoy the tone of the show, how 'dark' it is. Also the music. It's makes up everything I listen to. This is without mentioning how friggin HOT everyone is on the show. Hello Tyler...Matty...Damon...Stefan...Jeremy...I could go on.

Fast track to the new similar-genre show "THE SECRET CIRCLE". Both The Vampire Diaries and The Secret Circle are adapted from novel series written by L. J. Smith.

Wikipedia blurb:

Set in the fictional town of Chance Harbor, Washington, the series revolves around six teenage witches who form an infamous coven known as 'The Secret Circle'.
Cassie Blake is a sixteen-year old troubled teenager who is learning to adjust to her new life in Chance Harbor, after the tragic death of her mother, Amelia. Orphaned and deeply saddened, Cassie moves in with her warm and loving grandmother, Jane. After being enrolled into a local high school, Cassie comes into contact with five unlikely friends, Adam, Diana, mean-girl Faye, her sidekick Melissa, and a brooding loner Nick. After her new friends explain that they are all descended from a powerful lineage of witches, and that they need her in order to complete their circle, Cassie refuses to believe them - until Adam shows her how to unlock her magical powers. However, it isn't until Cassie discovers a message from her mother in an old leather-bound book of spells, that she understands her true and dangerous destiny. What Cassie and the others don't yet know is that darker powers are at play, powers that might be linked to the adults in the town, including Diana's father and Faye's mother - and that Cassie's mother's death might not have been an accident.

And blah blah blah...ALL the makings of another great show. Unfortunately, after watching 5 episodes, I am not convinced.

My summary: Chick gets sent back to her mothers hometown to live with her witch grandmother after her mother is murdered. Chick gets accosted by local teens who tell her she is a witch and they should all do some spells cuz it would be super fun. Chick wears a slutty outfit and goes to school without brushing her hair or doing her make up cuz she woke up with it already done (cue realism here) Chick gets crushy with local dark and brooding hottie but then runs (literally) out of the room to get away from him because of their animal attraction. One of the teen witches becomes possessed by a demon and then drowns. End of episode 5.

Ranty opinion:

The main character is not believable. She is too tiny and frail looking and continuously has this spooked deer in the headlights look on her face that I just want to smack off.

Example:

GET SOME ATTITUDE GIRL! So far one main character has already been killed off in a very undramatic way I might add. Didn't get into it at all. Didn't make me cry or even tear up. (This is coming from the girl who once watched a Tim Hortons commercial that made her cry). Anyways, the rest of the large cast is forgettable, with an exception being the baddy bad ass "bad girl" and the one (semi) attractive looking guy.

Baddy bad bad ass girl:

Dark and brooding:

You are made to think this guy will be the main characters love interest but, oh wait, road block, he already has a sweet hottie girlfriend who at this point I like better than the main character, so kinda hoping they don't break up, which they will because hey there goes the story line if they dont.

Finally, the music is good but poorly integrated into the show. The one song I noticed (it was actually a good fit and well-timed with the show) was played after Nicks death scene, showing soundless clips of his friends and love interests reaction. It is worth a listen.

This show has great potential. Here's hoping it gets better as I continue to watch it.

In summary, The Secret Circle is to Vampire Diaries as Charmed was to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Not. Even. Close.

Fall, you complete my home.

2011-10-22T09:00:00.000-03:00

C'est parfait.

Apple Picking

2011-10-19T09:00:00.000-03:00

Me and my Pa doing some annual apple picking...doesn't get any better.

We both climbed this tree (poor thing) but he went even higher than I did. A lot higher (recall I am already 6 ft tall and taking this picture!). I don't really like heights.

Fresh apples are the best treat in the world! and they are that much better when you pick them yourself. I'd love to have my own apple tree one day...

Gotta get lost

2011-10-17T17:39:00.001-03:00

Every once in a while you look at your life and you think, is this it?

For me, now is one of those times.

Nothing in particular has changed. I am not bored. I have great friends and family. I have a grand social life. I am blessed with a roof over my head, a purdy blue car and no student dept.

I guess sometimes you just feel blah, no matter what. It's all the same shit, just a different day.

I've decided I want to take a little hiatus. Get outta dodge. Away from the annoying city traffic and bustle and the same old thing. I will let you know when I've decided where the wind will take me.

In other news, what fun was had making PUMPKIN MUFFINS with my friends! They turned out so delicious. I forgot to get the recipe however (Nathalie!) Here are a few pics of the blood...

The ladies and their muffs

Nom nom nom

and some hilarious catchings of michelle's weirdness...

Someone like you

2011-10-17T11:42:00.001-03:00

I dun did braids!

2011-10-13T09:00:00.003-03:00

Yea. That's a feather.

Do I know how to bake? Uh, no.

2011-10-10T11:43:00.000-03:00

I have been thinking lately about baking/cooking/the future/should I know how to cook.

OK here's the story: I can cook. I can make essential meals. I can cook meat, I can make rice or potatoes and vegetables. I can make garden and ceasar salads that are really yummy. I can make anything that comes frozen or in a box with instructions. I can make use of my debit card and buy prepared food. I am NOT completely useless.

This is a lot. This gets me through life, no problem! and I is happy.

But I have lately been feeling lacking. My family is not a big traditionalist family who pass down cooking knowledge and recipes from generation to generation, always doing the same things come holidays or birthdays and such. We do not have such a thing as a lasagne family recipe or the famous Fraser blah blah blah... I had to fight my mother to let me make turkey dinner for Thanksgiving. Wouldn't have happened if not for me (this year AND last year).

This I would sort of like to change. I love the idea of being taught how to make something that my parents parents made before them. I am craving that knowledge, but seriously lacking in resources. My dad doesn't cook. Except for burnt eggs and BBQing steaks..and I've got that. And my mother is a big lazy head and never really wants to do anything so cooking is like last on her to do list. Now her mother, my grandmother Clark, was an amazing chef/cook and made great classic dishes like white cake and stew and brown bread. She passed away many years ago leaving not a single bloody recipe. (I don't think she ever had one) My other grandparents aren't really big cooking types, so HERE I AM. Left to fend for myself.

I want to create a family recipe book for future Fraser generations and for my soon-to-be future family (and by soon-to-be I mean sometime in the next 10-20 years HOPEFULLY)! But first I need to master some recipes myself...

In this box o'recipes I would like:
- Bread
- Rolls
- Biscuits
(THESE ARE STAPLES PEOPLE...STAPLES!)
- Thanksgiving/Christmas dinner
- Casseroles
- Cookies (peanut butter, choco chip, skor cookies...drool)
- Date squares
- Lasagne
- Ceasar salad (cuz the one I make is da bomb)
- Taco salad (also da bomb)
- Dips (french onion possibly?)
- Homemade cake and icing (my gram made this the BEST in the world.)
- DILL PICKLES! (also a gram thing)
- Some sort of pie...pies sound hard :] CHALLENGE!

One thing my family never made was fish. After living 6 months in Cape Breton surrounded by ocean on ALL sides and I mean all sides including out my bedroom window I want to add some fish recipes as well! DELICIOUS. (I have none...)

That is all I can think of now...I am hoping more will come to me as the process goes on.

NOW HERE'S WHERE YOU COME IN: anyone if you have a recipe you think will do me good and fit in well with this please let me know! If you want to get together and make some for funsies, that is even better!

Help me escape from the dreaded world of Pilsbury croissants! PLEASE. (PS: I burnt them last night. Don't judge me.)

Thanksgiving Weekend!

2011-10-09T22:08:00.000-03:00

Goodness me this has been a great weekend :)

Today (and I mean the entire day) I made turkey dinner. HOLY CRAP it was delicious. I love family times. And the fall weather could not be any better. Watching the leaves change gives me tingles.

On the weight watchers front, things are alright...last Wednesday I reached my first 10lbs! I don't feel any different but it's only been 3 weeks so I am hoping that in 6 or 7 weeks I'll be down 20 which will probably be more noticeable.

I am dreaming of adventuring in the South. Take me away, Cowboy. Give me a map, a convertible and the open road. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.

Waiting at the doctor = le SUCK!

2011-10-04T19:07:00.001-03:00

Patience. Not my forte.

Patience when sick or uncomfortable. I'm gonna kill somebody!!!

I went to the doctor today for a wicked cold. Sat in the waiting room for almost 2 hrs. I was starving and pissed.

This evening went to massage therapy. 30 min wait.

GAAAH I HATE WAITING!

Does anyone else feel like this? World WHY don't you revolve around me?

Moral of the story: I hate woman who ran into my car.

Blast from the Past - SJ style

2011-09-30T10:26:00.005-03:00

So tonight I will be dipping into risky territory: Saint John.
The home of my second last great love affair or bullshit
or whatever it is that that was. This is a taste of some of
our summer correspondence... we will see what goes on
tonight. To drunkenly call him or to not drunkenly call
him. That is the question.

Colin Andrew Boyd

ttttttttttt frase im loaded just got back from awicked boatib trip im most eligible bachelor in upham i kicked that crazy girl out my job is goin awsome pullin all nighter like its goiin ot of style i tihnk abiut you all the time we gotta hang out you should come chiill at the pad for a weekiend or i could take some vaca and coem to come to cape breteon let me know call meanytime 832 0279 i lovr u

****classy****
Tyler Faye
- This is the best drunk msg ever! Haha ur hilarious
  Colin Andrew Boyd
  t frasssssssse what up.. i realy am single now for real and for good we gotta ctch up sometime give me a call 832-0279. work is goin great doing realy well must be everything i learned from PLGS haha doubtful. yeah that was a pretty sweet drunk message not as good as yours but good my cell doesnt work anymore so get a hold me
  peace................i get lonely all by myself in a big old house
  
  ****ya fucking right. YOU ARE STILL IN A RELATIONSHIP STATUS ON FB u loser liar face****
  ****skipping me calling him a liar...a little further along****
  
  Tyler Faye
  WHAT
  haha cant believe marc wou;ld go back sick\
  well i am going to visit sj soon
  i lost ur number too new phone
  
  ****lies...just didnt want to call you....****
  
  September 13
  Colin Andrew Boyd
  cellys fucked gettin a new one this week..call the house 832-0279 im either in moncton or out there no reception out there anyway
  
  September 13
  Colin Andrew Boyd
  you gotta come visit real soon...ill give ya the grand tour of the place
  
  September 15
  Tyler Faye
  Send me ur new cell when u get it
  
  September 15
  Colin Andrew Boyd
  will do.. are you completly against land lines...call the house or give your cell and ill call you...hope school is goin well im glad its you and not me...what ur plans for the weekend we should meet up..
  
  ****yes. yes i am. among other things.****
  
  September 15
  Tyler Faye
  not sure whats going on this weekend next should be pretty good tho 471-1344 hope to be receiving some excellent drunk dials
  
  On the other hand tonight I expect is going to be yet another riotous good time partying in Saint John. It has yet to let me down. I am sad that my friends Talbot and Roro will not be there BUT I am so extremely excited to be partying it up! I am being such a highschool girl right now. Forgive me. WHAT AM I DOING?!
  
  Haha long story made short: Tonight I will be dressing up and partying like its going out of style with my friends and maybe a chance encounter with a past love with transpire.
  
  NERVOUS YES.
  
  Weight watchers: week 2 complete! so far 8 lbs down. I am proud of myself and surprised that it is working. So long I have gone on feeling like I was eating healthy and wondering why the pounds werent coming off. But with weight watchers, I AM actually eating healthier and the lbs ARE coming off. So far it is working. Knock. On. Wood.
  
  Finally I would like to leave you all with a new purchase I made this week: $10 at the local Anti-Poverty store. A 60 year old Ouiji Board.
  
  This is it exactly. There is even a NAIL in the center of the plastic dial and it is POINTY like you are supposed to prick your finger on it to draw blood or something. Be afraid.
  
  I refuse to bring it in the house. It is in my car. But we will be playing it. Eventually.

Life Update (I AM NOT DEAD! but I might have almost died...but let's not talk about that)

2011-09-19T21:21:00.002-03:00

Hey all time for a quick life update:

I have moved back to Fredericton
I am in my third week back at University
I started Weight Watchers
Colin and me are talking again
The sorority is hosting Rush recruitment

WHAT A RIVETING LIFE I LIVE!

Weight Watchers

is intense. I have 56 points per day. This is week one. My first weigh in is Wednesday night.

I'm wearing a mini-cowboy hat on my head right now.

It's almost over, but...

2011-08-20T08:00:00.001-03:00

I know I have been living here in Cape Breton for 4 months now, and very soon I will be heading back home to Fredericton, New Brunswick BUT I did promise I would post pictures of my new bedroom in Port Hawkesbury. So for all of you who haven't seen it in person, enjoy!

My bed.

One of two windows.

My tv and bathroom gear.

My door and crap.

My wardrobe. It's kind of awesome! See, I don't have a closet...

My getting ready/computer area and second window.

My bulletin board and stuff I love.

Pictures of some friends and family.

My purse and super nifty stool. (I love you, Winners.)

That's all folks!

things I love right now

2011-08-18T08:00:00.000-03:00

These. Why Can't I wear these?

This song.

<p>&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;ddd&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;</p>

This show.

This lamp.

HOLA!

2011-08-16T08:00:00.000-03:00

This is me being bored at work. (WHAT IS THAT THING ON MY CHIN. Oh, it's a pimple.)

This is me at the beach.

This is me at a waterfall.

This is a mini water fall I found on my run yesterday.

FIN!

GET TO KNOW TYLER: iPod shuffle

2011-08-14T08:00:00.000-03:00

I love every song on my iPod. But when my iPod's on shuffle, I only like every 10th...

After Afterall – William Fitzsimmons
I don’t love you – My Chemical Romance
Cute Without the ‘E’ – Taking Back Sunday
Freak – Estelle
Remember When – The Black Ghosts
Fallout – Sofi Bonde
Love the way you lie – Eminem ft Rihanna
Cocaine Cowgirl – Matt Mayes
Whatchadoin? – N.A.S.A.
Toxic – Britney Spears

Haha, oh my. That last one.

(Current iPod put on shuffle, first 10 songs)

GET TO KNOW TYLER:

2011-08-12T08:00:00.004-03:00

On book lending...

Don’t ever lend me a book. You have been warned. I have a problem where when I read a book, somehow it inevitably gets destroyed. I don’t know how or why. Some people read books and they come out the other side looking just as nice as the day they were bought.

Mine look like they’ve been dragged along pavement tied behind a car for 6 hours and then sold at a yard sale in a cardboard box.

Ummm...

Apologizes to anyone who might be reading this who’s books I currently have. I can think of atleast 2 of you... (ps molly I have two books that belong to you…my sisters keeper and memoirs of a geisha. And possibly life of pi! Who the hell lent me that book? Baaaah..can't remember) So its fair to say that I will probably be investing in a new copy of outlander for my dearest friend since her copy looks kind of like it was flushed down a toilet then stored in the attic. Erm...awkward. I swear I'm really ok with other things. Just books is my downfall. This all ties into my “Im-not-getting-an-e-reader-because-it-would-not-survive-me” theory.

On Smart Food...

If you put a bag of smart pop in front of me it will disappear. There is no question. I believe I am not the only one out there with this “smart food” syndrome. Firstly, it tricks you with it's title. Smart Food. Why do they have to call it that? ~~It makes me believe~~ (even though I know better) It makes me want to believe me that it's actually good for me Aka Healthy. Or at the very least better than the bag of Lays perched next to it.

LIES!

And why do they have to make it so damn good? All fluffy and munchy and full of flavor in every bite. I could honestly go for some, RIGHT NOW. Finally, the individual bags are so big, all you see is those dinky doritoes next to it and you cant help but think "Oh the smart food will be soooo much more filling! I am going to get it..." Those marketing ~~geniuses~~ bastards. They are the devil incarnate.

On social life...

I am loud. I am so loud! I love talking to people. I love meeting new people. I love making friends. I am not at all shy, although I am at times insecure (being insecure makes me defensive and sometimes brings out the bitch in me..but that’s another story). The only time I am shy is when I am in a group of people who I think are extremely intelligent and I keep my mouth shut on the grounds that I don’t want to say something stupid and look like a dumb head. (This happened to me a lot when I worked at the nuclear power plant. I was pretty much a clam. It was the only work place I have ever been told I did not take the lead enough.)

Speaking of leads, I enjoy being the leader. I have been the Captain of many a volleyball/soccer team in my day and have thoughrouly enjoyed every minute. I like being given extra responsibility. I love that feeling of being the one chosen to take it on.

I’m 23 and my partying days are still going strong. I am not as feisty as I was in my teens (no I cannot drink a pint of captain morgans white rum straight any more) but I am definitely not one to stay in (if I can help it). I love reading, watching tv shows and movies, but if there is a party to go to I will be there. If there is a table to dance on, I will dance it. If there is an unclaimed shot, I will take it!

I love going out and partying with my girl and guy friends. Completely letting loose, acting crazy, doing things that would surely embarrass you if only you could remember doing them come morning. Sigh...good times.

Yupp. I am so not over that faze in my life yet. Maybe someday. Maybe not.

Bitches. Ain't. Shit.

Nancy Drew and the Case of the Stinky Roommate

2011-08-11T10:04:00.004-03:00

The other day I was home alone and there was this smell in the kitchen. I could not figure out what it was but it was disgusting. And strong. It smelled kind of like rot or mold combined with nose burning bitter sweat.

Not until later that day when I opened the dryer did I finally realize where the smell was coming from. I had previously hidden my laundry detergent because the guys kept using it. Well, seems like Jamie decided to do a huge load without using any soap. Yupp. Washed clothes, underwear and towels together and did not use any laundry soap.

To make it that much worse, the load was so big that our puny dryer couldn't handle it. Therefore Jamie's "clean" clothes were stewing in their own juices half wet for at least 2 days.

S'cuse me while I go puke real quick.

Ok I'm back. Where was I? Right, so, this horrid sweaty burning smell was from all his clothing and towels, and the moldiness was because they were still wet. I piled his shit on the porch as fast as possible and closed the door because it was literally stinking up the house.

The next day I was walking into my bedroom upstairs and I smelled the fucking smell, again. It was now coming from Jamie’s room down the hall. He’d retrieved his clothes from the porch and moved them into his room. I have been ~~sneakily~~ closing his bedroom door ever since to block out the smell.

Today I came home and was about to close his door when I noticed

SUPER SNEAKY stacking CDs just slightly in front of the door to keep it propped open. And if I tried to close it I would have knocked the entire pile over, likely disclosing the fact that I was the one closing the door.

So, I thought I was being sneaky. I guess I wasn’t. Shit. On the plus side the smell coming from his room is now this:

A great improvement. I decided to leave the door ajar.

What a sneaker though, eh. That friggin stack had to be strategically placed. There's no way that was by chance. It's impossible!

Hmmmm, let’s see what else. Oh yes, for the past few days I have come home to this:

Which I promptly switch to this

Much better.

Until next time, Nancy out.

GET TO KNOW TYLER: 3 most irritating ppl traits

2011-08-10T08:00:00.003-03:00

WARNING TO READERS: Below is Tyler at her most vulgar

IRRITATING

The First
When people use your things without asking ie food, laundry detergent, my BAR OF SOAP IN THE BATHROOM?! This is probably the biggest issue at my house. I have learned that I cannot leave my laundry detergent in the laundry room or else it will be gone next time I try to use it, that if I open a jar of cheese whiz, no matter where I hide it in the fridge, it will get eaten, that if I leave my soap in the shower it will inevitably get little hairs on it THAT DON’T BELONG TO ME SICK FUCK OFF! It is really gross. Moral of the story: only your bedroom is safe. And sometimes not even...

The Second
When people stand really close behind you in lineups, especially at the grocery store. Just because you are ramming yourself up my ass the store clerk will NOT ring in my groceries any faster! Thanks! Back. The. Fuck. Off.

The Third
When someone pulls out ahead of your car and then proceeds to drive extremely slow. Helllllooooo buddy. I know you saw me coming and I know you saw I was driving pretty fast. But you couldn't just let me go by ya, huh. Well fuck YOU buddy!! FUCKA-U. Socka my cock, TWO TIMES.

MY BIGGEST MONEY SUCK (other than gas and online shopping…)

2011-08-08T14:44:00.005-03:00

Groceries are the biggest money killer to me. Of. All. Time.

I have a sick fascination with grocery stores. I love them. I love grocery shopping. I love making elaborate meal plans and I love making up the list!

Flip side: I hate cooking. I am lazy as shit when it comes to cooking and even when real effort is put in, the results are still average at best.

This is what living away from home for four months with access to a car and proximity to Sobeys and Superstore has taught me: I am a grocery hoarder. I hoard groceries! I buy groceries usually once a week, slamming away an avg. of $50 each time. I don’t know why it took me an entire 3 months to realize this behavior. It started when I began recording how many times I visited grocery stores.

Mind boggling!

This is my mentality: Hmm, I feel like making tacos tonight! Yumm!

Reality: I hit the store, buy all the supplies + whatever other groceries I see that spark my interest + anything that is on sale especially that sparks my interest + I am fairly certain there is already food prepared in the fridge that I should consume to stop it from going bad. (phew)

Every week I throw out food. Every week. And I feel really bad about it. And not just because I know there are millions of people who could have benefited from what I've allowed go to waste but because it literally feels like I'm throwing money into the garbage. Then I also still want to be healthy (ish), so I'm not only eating cereal and KD (which never go bad...cept you kinda need milk for both of them) therefore I will keep buying fruit and veggies. Veggies and fruit are expensive. Meat? More expensive.

Currently in my fridge I have to dispose of a plastic container of tuna/egg mixture, a plastic container of cooked chicken, full feta cheese, bag of carrot sticks, possibly my lettuce bag and my (almost full) milk. This is a typical amount of food I throw out (when I get the guts to actually open the plastic containers and empty the contents…it’s usually pretty gross..so I like to put it off.)

What I have learned:

Stick to the outskirts of the store: meat, veggies, fruit and bread. This is the bulk of what I live on and what goes bad the quickest and needs replacing. Anything on the inner is really just crappy filler. DELICIOUS crappy filler, but crappy filler non-the-less. Keep it out of your line of sight and chances are you won’t buy it. If you truly want something special: drink mix, kraft dinner, etc. make a special trip but just for that. When you are a single person feeding only yourself there’s really no reason you shouldn’t be able to push your cart through the 15 items or less checkout every time.

Bring in a list and ONLY buy what’s on the list. SALES BE DAMNED.

DO NOT buy something just because it is good for you if you don’t like it. Ex: I bought a box of blueberries last week. I HATE blueberries?! And I bought them why??? Because they are supposed to be good for your memory or some bullshit. But really cuz they were on sale and strategically placed directly in front of the doors when I entered and my basket was empty.

Eat the food you have. SUCK IT UP, YOU MONEY AND FOOD WASTER!

Does anyone else feel like this ever?! PLEASE if you have any, give me tips!

For the love of all that’s holy

2011-07-21T16:06:00.002-03:00

10 things I love this summer

Popsicles

Driving with the windows down

Pretty nail polish

Sunglasses!

Braided hair designs

Listening to classic rock

Watching sporting events outside or even just playing catch

Board games...namely, Settlers of Catan

Tattoos

Meeting new friends. And learning to appreciate the ones I already have that much more.

On a mission to find some old man Harley Davidson tank tops. Need. NOW. Frenchies...I am coming for you.

What I did (and didn’t do) in the Valley

2011-07-19T08:29:00.000-03:00

Well my tots and totettes, I just got back from a long weekend of camping adventure in the middle of cow county. Friday morning myself and my roommate Scott set off on a mission to fly planes and then not die of boredom while waiting to fly more planes. Scott is working on getting his “Ultralight” aviation license. (It’s beyond me why, you all know how I feel about airplanes…) He takes his lessons in a small, secluded farmtown area right off the ocean about 5 hours from Port Hawkesbury. He invited me along to keep him company on his trip.

Friday afternoon, about an hour from our campsite we stopped at the Superstore to get some dinner and low and behold HARRY POTTER was playing in the movie theatre next door. In all glorious spur-of-the-moment style we went and saw the final HP then and there. I tell you, I cried like a baby. I was literally holding it in so I wouldn’t gasp out super loud (cuz that would have been embarrassing). There were only about 20 ppl in the theatre. It was actual magic.

We found our campground, which was beautiful and perched at the very top of a mountain. Canadian Tire Broadstone pop up tents are worth their weight in gold. Our site was set up in less than 5 min. Hand to God. We built a fire, cracked some drinks, walked around, blah blah blah…

I must have woken up seven hundred times! No exaggeration! I was freezing and had to pee (Stupid Smirnoff Ice. Stupid bladder.) but was too chicken to go cuz all I could hear were freaky animal noises!

Shots of Scott flying (taken previously, haven't got mine on my computer just yet)

The next day after Scotts morning flight, we decided to go on a hunt for this beautiful waterfall. We must have driven down about 6 dirt roads until we finally found the spot (or so we thought). We hiked down to the coast. The beach was all tiny rocks, bastards! My flip flops did not do well. There were caves down beach so we went to explore. We never actually ended up going in the water because we are big babies and it was cold and there were fish. Millions of them! We scaled some cliffs though which was awesome and trekked through a lot of woods making our own path which was also fun. When we finally made it back to the car we were a mess. Muddy and dirty, cut and bleeding. But all smiles.

We drove around, hung off the end of docks, climbed to the top of a lighthouse, drove around more, I might have napped at one point. Scott flew again at night. I visited one of my most favorite friends at her beautiful house nearby. Her family made me a delicious dinner! Which my body was extremely thankful for after solely consuming hotdogs for 2 days. There was heat lightening in the sky as me and Scott drove back to our campsite and all hell broke loose in the form of pouring rain just as we arrived. We did what any sensible people would do: Ran top speed for the cooler, got drinks, took refuge in the car and drove to the mountain lookout to watch the lightening.

Sunday morning came bright and early. Why Scott didn’t feel the need to wake me up until 5 min before he had to leave is beyond me! I actually slept like a baby. The previous night had taught me to actually sleep inside my sleeping bag like a cocoon. I also had pillows at this point (I forgot them the first night, thnx Rob <3).

Instead of just dropping him off I stayed around and watched him do some take offs and landings. The instructors wife then put me to work with her (she owns 17 horses and teaches lessons) tending to a horse and running him outside a bit. It was so nice! Very nice people! I love love love horses and had been talking Scotts ear off about how I wanted to see them all weekend. They invited us out for lunch so we packed up our site and met them at a local take out. Really delicious food. We all ate deep friend haddock bits, clams, scallops, fries and onion rings. Yumm. Then since it was National Ice Cream Day, me and Scott stopped for some melty ice cream to completely fill our bellies!

It was a great weekend. I definitely want to visit the Valley again and soon! It was a beautiful place. Very farmy. Very open. Lots of old things to see and explore. ROBYN. I AM COMING FOR YOU.

Things I have learned about my roommate on this trip:

He cannot handle listening to anyone elses music but his own. This was funny and cute for a bit. By the time we were about an hour away from home I wanted to rip his hands off. DON’T EVER TOUCH SOMEONE ELSES IPOD WHEN THEY ARE DRIVING AND IT IS THEIR CAR. DEAAAAATH WILL COME SWIFTLY.

He eats a lot of food. Where does it go? Why is he in such good shape?! BOYS = EVIL.

He is a clean freak. He washed his hair under the water tap at least 3 times. I washed my hair zero times.

He doesn’t like chocolate therefore he is a freak of nature.

He talks about girls in a derogatory manner way too often. Like, all the time. Again, funny in small doses. After 3 days of it, just annoying combined with a little bit of loss of respect.

We came back home and instead of going to bed like normal people we decided to play board games. And I WON MY VERY FIRST SETTLERS GAME! And then we played again. And then I WON AGAIN, MUAHAHAHAHA. The boys were both super cranky after that and definitely ready for bed. They are my little toddlers.

i got a fire burning

2011-07-15T08:44:00.000-03:00

Bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam!

Tyler is BAAAACK. Old shell has been thrown out the window. I am back to showing off my shoulders (NO MORE ARM COVERING SWEATERS!) rockin the black tank top that I love. I am back to singing out loud as I walk down the hall. I am back to romping around the house in my underwear (TWO can play at that game roommates! En garde!) I am back to taking a redonk amount of photos and posting them on fb cuz they are hilarious and memories need to be captured. I am back to loving my hair in braids. BRAIDS ARE UNDERRATED.

I am once again EMBRACING THE PLAIDGURU WITHIN! I cannot stop listening and watching this song...it might make me wear plaid every day for the freakin rest of my life.

PS LEAVING TODAY TO GO WITH SCOTT FOUR DAYS FOR HIS FLYING LESSONS! :D

Currently on the tyler to do list:

RESIST the urge to eat at McDonalds. Neither your ass or your wallet can afford it.
Listen to more music. It truly soothes the soul.
Work on COMP314 online course. ANYTHING IS BETTER THAN TAKING IT IN CLASS AGAIN!
Call my friends on the phone more often. I couldn't have been in a worse mood yesterday. A few quick calls and my head was clear and my face was once more shinning. Screw texting I am donzo.
Capture moments: any and all! Life is too short!
Be bold and go swimming! Rock the new bathing suit and embrace/love yourself! Confidence is catching!
Just remember to smile more and try not to worry. Shit things happen. It's how it goes. But wonderful things are constantly happening too. There's always a silver lining.
Raise funds and go camping in PEI. This needs to happen.
Somehow acquire this ring. Even though I am a size 10. RING ME!

In response to a comment from a previous post, what I am wearing on my eyes in this picture:

I am wearing a cumulative mix of every black make up I own I think haha. NOTHING WAS DARK ENOUGH. I have been watching the TV series Sons of Anarchy and it makes me want to wear extremely dark eye make up, wife beaters and strut around being super tough.

First off I have a little black eye liner in my eyebrows. I think I would like to dye them darker. LOVE a strong eyebrow. The liner I have is cheap but good, Rimmel Exaggerate waterproof eye definer in Noir. I also used this liner on the bottom of my eyes, under the lashes and over, making sure my eyelash roots were covered.

On top I used a MAC Paint Pot in Blackground for the base. Then lined the upper lashes using a black MAC Greasepaint Stick. I then did a final top lash line along the eyelashes in Revlon Liquid Colorstay Eyeliner blackest black. To get the shading above my eye I used a large angle brush and Lancome color focus 4 pallette in Black Tie Affair, varying between the two darkest powder shades. The inside corner of my eye and under the brown line was done with the white powder in my large Sephora pallette to add some highlighting and light.

Finally I covered both top and bottom lashes in Covergirl Lashblast Fusion mascara in black. (THIS and regular Lashblast, FAVORITE mascara I've ever used AND affordable. That is bank. Don't recommend the waterproof though.)

Of all of these things I would recommend them all except for the MAC Greasepaint stick. I rarely use it and it must be paired with something else. Both liners and the mascara I used daily and the Lancome powder I have been coveting for atleast 3 years now and prey it never runs out.

What are some of your favorite makeup staples??

because I have to tell this story at somepoint

2011-07-14T13:22:00.011-03:00

Ok guys. I really fucked up. I mean seriously fucked up.

I actually can’t even type this without tearing up. I’m such a girl sometimes.

Ok I am gonna lay it out. I had sex with Scott’s friend, Jordan. One of his best friends here in PH.

It was stupid and selfish. I don’t like him. And I will not like him. He is not the guy for me. He also just recently broke up with his gf of two years a few weeks ago.

There’s not really any excuse. He definitely started it, but I didn’t stop it. I made the choice my body wanted, and disregarded my head and heart. This was a few weeks ago. I asked him not to say anything to Scott. Again, selfish. But I was ashamed and…then there’s Scott. Sleeping with one of his friends could finish any chance of us. He is loyal and a good man when his heart is in it.

It seemed like things were going to blow over. Miraculously nothing was mentioned.

Until this past Saturday that is. (Insert slap hand to forehead here)

Jordan’s idea: he wanted to drink and drink hard. Scott was away taking flying lessons for 4 days. When he got home he told me all about it and when I asked him if he was lonely there he said he was. He told me all this things he did: mud sliding, the movies, pubs. Then he asked me if I’d like to come with him the next time he went. His exact words were: “It was fun, but all I really wanted was someone there like a girlfriend that I could do all these things with.”

Me. Scott. Alone…4 days and 3 nights…tenting together in a beautiful area? Like a girlfriend? Thought of me…? Um, gasp, catch breath, exhale…repeat.

I told him I’d see if I could get work off. Then he starting listing off all the things we could do together there. He said he wanted to show the place off to me because he knew I would love it as much as he did. He said his instructor had a surf board with a sail we could borrow and go windsurfing. He said..a lot :) His asking me to come with him said a lot.

I think that was the first time I felt really comfortable with the concept of me and him, as more than roommates. Is your heart fluttering as much as mine is right now?

Saturday night came, the boys arrived. It was a usual night. Except it wasn’t because there were sparks and they were obvious and they were flying.

Jordan was being extra flirty. Most likely because I was paying him no attention. I’ve been there, in his shoes. He just wanted to feel special again. But it would have been false and I wasn’t going to do that again.

Meanwhile, Scott and me had sang “Ain’t no mountain high enough” together the night of my birthday when we celebrated just me and him. He was determined to do it again. So, he put it on and we let loose. I haven’t sung like that in a long time. We held hands and he stood above me as I sat in a chair. And we sang every word to each other. It flew by. I remember feeling no embarrassment. We just fed off each other. Then the song ended and I was utterly euphoric. So was he. Then he bent swiftly down and kissed me on the lips.

Insert gasp and heart stop here.

It has been years since that has happened to me, and it's only happened once before. I'll never forget it. That moment that you don't see coming. That first kiss, being a complete and total surprise. The boy you care for having the guts and making that first move because he wants it that badly too. And at the same time it being the only thing you'd wanted in the world to happen.

The look of surprise on my face did it and he immediately started backtracking his actions but before he could get a proper sentence out I held fast to his hand and drug him down to meet me again.

Shaken, giddy and elated we moved to the couch where I sat and he layed with his head in my lap. I stroked his hair and he stroked my leg.

Things were going very, very well.

Then. Of course. Karma is a bitch. Don’t ever think it won’t come back and bite you in the ass, because let me tell you it will.

At some point Jordan got Scott into the kitchen and told him. I walked in to them talking about it. I swiftly walked out. SHIT FUCK DAMN. These were running through my head as I sat down on my bed drink in hand. That was that then.

So, I had two options. Stay locked in my bedroom and pout OR head back downstairs and face the music. MUSIC IT WAS. I did the only thing I could, and strut my stuff back down there like nothing had happened.

Things were tense. Real life Jersey Shore-esk behavior at its best. We soon went out, walking to see a band play outside. Somehow I ended up walking arm in arm with Scott, alone, during which time there was some serious venting. Lots of hurtful comments, but none undeserved. And then we seemed, back, and ok. He paid my way in and bought my drinks. We danced and sang Mr. Jones and all those old cover songs bands play.

I left the boys around 2:30, catching a ride home. I made my way up to sleep but kept my door open wide. I was awoken by a heavy body on me and drunken slurring. I was sure it was Scott.

To my utter surprise, I turned and it was JORDON! I practically screamed at him to get out and he finally left in a huff.

Jeeesus. What next.

I fell into a clumsy sleep and was soon awakened by a sweet quiet voice saying my name softly. This was it. I beckoned him in and he joined me under the covers. He took me in his arms at once and I just bathed in the warmth of him around me. We lay together and hugged and kissed each other all over. He wrapped my leg around his body. We breathed each other in. He told me I was gorgeous. That I was so beautiful. That he thought I was the coolest girl. That he was so happy he was my roommate. We kissed. A lot. He asked me what my dreams in life were. He told me he cared about me and that scared him. He told me he loved me at one point (but it was probably just the beer talking). We did not have sex. We just layed together.

He told me my hair smelled good.

Sunday dawns and I am awkward as hell. Stone cold, indifferent as fuck, it’s my defense. Too terrified of rejection, It’s so difficult to just let be. He is the same, or so that’s what I perceive. I know he doesn’t want a commitment. He’s only made that offhand comment 100 times since I’ve met him. I’ve witnessed him with other girls. I never cared before…

I am working hard on just letting be. And returning to being myself around him. To not ignoring and being short with him. I don't need to defend. I, me, am the girl who he hugged tight all night long. That same make up less, bra less girl he's lived with for almost 3 months...

And now I can’t help but…possibly love him too. (but that’s just the beer talking again)

QUILTY!

2011-07-12T13:35:00.000-03:00

Of buying more clothing online...

WHAT? I needed a new bathing suit anyways. Had to be over $60 to get that free shipping!

Also I love that I will look at Forever 21+ in the morning and order clothing that is sold out by the afternoon. Sold out BY ME! MUAhahahaha.

Good times.

What adventures will this weekend bring?

Sweet mother of mary!

2011-07-08T15:14:00.002-03:00

Finally caught up with all my blog readings….YAY for bossman leaving at noon hour to allow for some much needed slacker time in front of my computer!

I have been dying to do a post with some of the pictures I’ve taken and also throw in a playlist or two of my recent song favorites. Work has made this almost impossible due to my non-administrative access and no Adobe Flash Player!

It has continued to be sunny here in PH. Sun just makes things better. It just makes you smile. And makes you warm. And content.

The roommates have vacated the area for the time being (YES!) so I will be enjoying some extreme alone time tonight. Let me tell ya, BIG PLANS.

Picking up prezzie for someone special. (PS it unfortunately won’t be booze since I still don’t have an ID!)
Creating playlist for blog and posting some pictures (hopefully of my room here and the beach and such!)
Making little tuna snacks my grammie used to make us. *Need recipe from mom
Eating a box of popsicles
Showering and doing hair. Possibly playing with makeup.
Watching Sucker Punch and Season of the Witch
Lounging in PJ’s!

Sounds like a glorious evening. Muchly needed.

Tomorrow I am getting the oil changed in my car and then heading to Pictou,NS in the afternoon for LOBSTERFEST. Crossing fingers it doesn’t open up and rain all weekend. I would also like to hit the beach on Sunday.

CROSSING. FINGERS.

My own pictures stolen from twitter. PS: FOLLOW ME on twitter: http://twitter.com/#!/tyler_fraser

Me playing with makeup last week. Notice how dark my eyebrows are!?

Delicious lobster being prepared by myself and my dad, birthday weekend.

That's all for now I guess!

Take me out to the ball game

2011-07-06T14:26:00.001-03:00

Things are good. The sun is finally shinning in my little town of PH.

Just got back from a long weekend of kayaking, ocean, sun, delicious food and good company. I made a new enemy, his name is Mr. Sunburn. He traveled back to Cape Breton with me. But I’ve since lost him. Mr. Tan tells me he is his replacement. I like him much better.

It’s time. The teams take the field in their red and yellow shirts. BUCS we are called.

I step tentatively from the car and across the gravel. I spot him. He’s close to me. He’s ready to play. He looks over as I pass and we exchange smiles and small waves of acknowledgement. He turns back, focusing. His shirt is tucked into his pants. He looks just perfect.

It’s a game. It’s all a game. The funnest game there is.

From our seats he is small. Outfield. Left. The game plays and his turn at bat comes around. He is nervous. I can tell. He is no more than 20 ft from us but he does not turn. He swings hard through air to loosen his muscles. He goes.

He hits. I cheer loud. He’s at first.

The batter is running, Scott moves to second but is out. He walks back to his bench. Of his four supporters he looks at me alone. I wink. He smiles. It’s there.

And today, it’s there just for me.

I think my favorite thing was, when I told him I wanted to see him play, he told me that his mom had already asked him whether I had been out to watch.:) Thanks Deb.

Top of the World (feat. Dev)

2011-06-21T15:09:00.000-03:00

What a wonderful support system I have. I really do. I am very thankful. Any troubles seem a little lighter even just thinking about it.

“Maybe we should take a day and fall apart together. But, just one day. <3.” – TF

This weekend is going to be fantastic. I am leaving Friday morning which means I get to escape my 10hr 6 days a week work schedule 2 days early (BOOYAH). I will be bringing home fresh lobsters picked from the trap and cooked Thursday night for my family and as a bit of a late Father’s Day present. Cape Breton lobster is one of my new favorite foods. It is damn good. (Sry, you little ugly bastards!) Saturday night I am having a shared Birthday party with my friend and sorority sister Michelle and all our friends are coming up for it! Should be a blast. I get to see my best friends again. It’s been a while since we’ve all been in the same place at the same time and who knows how many times it will happen again as we continue to grow in our separate lives. Cherish the moment!

Sunday we are scheduled to go on a tube run down the nashwaak river where I plan on getting obscenely sun burned and in all likelihood plastered. Also will be my first time wearing my bathing suit outside this summer (summer doesn’t really exist in PH) and I am praying for sun sun sun.

The weekend was really wonderful. Friday night was a sort of a bust. Jordan me and Scott were playing board games, but then Jordan had to leave early and poo game night over. Saturday was better I invited all the girls over I have met in PH: Stacey, Amber and Amanda, and the four of us sat in my room drinking and talking and then forced Scott to drive us places. He was a good sport :) And still so very handsome. We had a good time driving around the girls in the back, he and myself up front. He’s also started teaching me to play video games. MLB 2006. He lets me ‘bat’ only. So far I have successfully hit 1 ball. I did good though, so he says. We made a delicious breakfast Sunday morning and laid around on the couch watching the movie Goodfellows in the afternoon. Then he had to work the night shift Sunday and he worked it last night as well which means I haven’t seen him for a bit. Sunday evening I was invited to see ‘Super 8’ with Amanda and her roommate Beth. It was pretty good. We ate Wendys and junkfood and shopped at Winners. I got this amazing footstool that matches my bedspread/room perfectly, some soap and a bookbag. Also the poor Winner’s cashier didn’t ring in my $30 bookbag, and I didn’t notice until we were 1hr30min away back in PH. Oh well, bonus!

Last night I got my arse kicked once again at the gym. Kevin has started making us do sprints and he says I’m pretty fast, which has to be one of the most hilarious things I’ve Ever heard. Tonight I have volleyball but it is also Scott’s first competitive baseball game (he tried out for the team a few weeks ago) and I would like to go cheer him on. (Also, seriously, my ass muscles hurt from yesterday. I don’t know how helpful I’d be on the court.) Jordan might come. Him and his gf just broke up Sunday night. Add that to the list of complications in my life.

I will keep you posted. Much love.

Street Spirit (Fade out)

2011-06-18T10:28:00.004-03:00

I have no easy way of saying this. Sometimes words, which are so plentiful and demanding in your head, cannot be easily expressed. I am a word smith. I’m urged to release in this way. But that stopper is there. Always there. Holding back your fingers from typing, creasing your brow line, weighing down behind your chest.

Tired. A simple adjective. So easy to use, even if not quite right. Emotions control us; you’d think there’d be an entire dictionary dedicated to describing them. And maybe there is. And maybe it should be used more often.

I am carrying around that hurt feeling in my chest. I feel like a dog that has been beaten. No blood loss, but shaken. Dropped in a lidless box and shaken back and forth.

I crave human attention. It’s like a drug that’s never enough. I am constantly receiving it, but am never satisfied. And when I realize it I STILL can’t stop myself. I can be so happy and I can be so hard.

And now for a retelling: a retelling is never accurate. Never the true story for that is lost. It’s a fashioned piece based on true life events but twisted by the way it was perceived by us and our subconscious desires. I will tell you anyway.

MY LIFE right now is a quick blur. I am 22 turning 23 and it’s sort of frightening. Life seems to be slipping away at a rate faster than anticipated or attested at 16yrs. I get up, I go to work, I come home and am desperate for something to cling to. And yet I am picky. I am hard. I am stubborn. I want what I want and no substitutions. I do not compromise.

I want to be bold and braver. I want to stop shying into a corner. I want to tear down the hard walls that I have sentineled protectively around me, because I’m not really being protected. I’m being sheltered. I’m being stopped. I’m being stunted. I used to be carefree, clueless, so blissfully clueless. And a lot of people got hurt. And I regret a lot of things. And I’m fucking selfish…and I want nothing more than to go back to that again.

Bedrooms are boundaries in our house. They just are.

I greet my friend. We are excited like puppies talking to each other. We bid goodnight. It is midnight. I shed my clothing and slide into comfier wears. I glide into bed and the fantasy begins. It begins with a light knock on my door…

Wait…that is a real knock. Come in. I am tentative and scatterbrained at the same time, unprepared for this reality and falling over myself in my extraction attempts. A handsome form enters in underwear alone. Wanting nothing more than to run my hands over his smooth abdomen, down his back. He has dimples on his lower back. This is it.

SLAM. Walls. Barriers. Chain link fencing with barbed wire tops and a coursing electric current. I can’t even be nice. The tone of my voice won’t allow it. Sharpness, coldness, briskness, is all I can express. I dismiss. Too quickly the moment is over. Too quickly he remarks he won’t bother me again. Too quickly the realization of my actions hits as he exits and my breath catches. Too fucking chicken shit am I to follow him. To say anything.

And here we are. Standing beside each other back to back. Room adjacent. With two hard wooden doors closed firm. I need to go home. I need to be slapped. I need a hug.

A weekend and blur

2011-06-08T08:11:00.001-03:00

More bonding with the roommate: Myself and Scott are continuously getting closer. And I don’t know if I like what I’m finding or not. Thursday night I came home to find Jordan and Scott doing their thang. We ended up in the kitchen, me sprawled out on the counter, having a deep conversation about our lives/jobs/educations/expectation. At midnight Jordon left and we relocated to the living room. We stayed up talking til 2am. Lots of topics: crazy life events, hook ups, drinking stories, fighting stories (mostly Scott telling me). I don’t know if I enjoyed the conversation because we were sharing and bonding or if I didn’t because of some of the gross sex stories he was telling me.

However I would like to add that Scott has stopped wearing a shirt around me. And I am not complaining. He is one fit paramedic.

I had my first beach adventure on Saturday with a girl named Amanda. She is pretty cool! Very, very different from my friends in Fredericton. She is extremely rough and not girly in the slightest. But it’s fun cuz she’ll be like “Let’s make a bonfire!” Her presence unfortunately does lead to an increased intake of the Mexican green. Not really my thing, but very much hers and her circle of friends. Meh, beggars can’t be choosers. I am actually really thankful that I have any friends here. I couldn’t imagine being alone.
I did some online shopping recently. Friggin Forever 21 Canada. You rock. Hope my order makes it here sometime relatively soon (Canada Post went on strike two days after I sent in my order!) I am getting these gems, to name a few…

Floral Stripes Strapless Dress

Marble Floral Dress

Mix Print Button Front Dress

Also this is probably the radest etsy shop I’ve ever seen. Completely my style. I want almost everything.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/shlomitofir

Summer list update:
~~10. Put my feet in the ocean~~
~~24. Run barefoot through the grass~~
~~37. Walk barefoot on the beach~~

Scott did me a big props and got me in touch with a local co-ed volleyball league. I am going to play tonight and am quite excited! Other than that nothing very exciting goes on. I am getting my hair done Friday morning…that is exciting to me here :)

Happppy Tuesdaaaay erybody (I swear I meant to post this last night!)

Today it is Thursday, Thursday

2011-06-02T15:34:00.004-03:00

Well folks, let’s add this little gem to our collection:

Ya. Sweet. Found two of them scuttling innocently, trapped at the bottom of one of our larger bowls in the cupboard. Gross.

Grosser: Scott picked the bowl up looked in it, said ew, put it back on the shelf. I watched him do this not bothering to ask. I didn’t find the bugs until the next day :| Ya. Sweet.

In other news, I had my second fun filled Port Hawkesbury weekend. Friday, Scott took us to the fire hall for some pool. Saturday we drank our faces off. I have numerous purple bruises covering my arms and torso. Scott’s a biter. Guess I got off lucky, Jordon found one on his ass. We went out…to Dooley’s. Just the same there was a ton of people there. (And by ton I mean most I’ve seen so far in one place in PH other than Wal-Mart)

Bonus of being intoxicated: speaking to strangers just feels comfortable. Also, so far everyone in Port Hawkesbury has been extremely nice and welcoming. All I need to say is “I just moved here and I don’t know anyone” and they are all over you.

Also, I watched a girl fall down the stairs onto the pavement, sit up and light a cigarette. Sorta made my night.

The next day was kinda wonderful. After assembling in the living room we went to breakfast which was hangovertastic. We spent the rest of the afternoon outside on the lawn throwing various sports balls around, tanning (me) and playing board games. We went to see Bridesmaids and my abs still hurt from laughing.

This week has kinda flown by (I royally slacked on the blogger front). I finally couldn’t handle it anymore so I cleaned the bathroom and the kitchen. Looks fucking fantastic. Jamie bought me ice cream. I got books from the library (thanks for the recommendations guys!). I am starting with The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood (so far so good) and I have Oryx and Crake(?) waiting at home. THANKS FOR BEING FREE LIBRARY. YOU MAKE MY LIFE.

Last night I was awaked by a large repeated flashing light in my mirror. It was sort of terrifying. Then I realized it was reflecting my window and the crazy lightening flashing every 5 seconds over the ocean. Then the thunder started rolling in. Then my window frames started pounding from the wind. I had both open, but the lightening was so frequent and close and the thunder so quick and loud that I was afraid to go near them to close them. Finally I had to cuz it started raining: both the newer outer screen glass and the older window pane. I was awake from at least 1 to 2:30am. I don’t remember the last time I was so irrationally scared. I wanted to sprint into Scott’s bedroom and huddle under his covers and let his laughing voice reassure me…and believe me I actually would have if I hadn’t known he was working the next morning at 6am. I thought about calling my mom (I’m such a baby!) but I didn’t want to wake her up either OR freak her out. I tried moving to the couch downstairs to see if it would be quieter but it wasn’t. And all the while the storm was still raging outside. I don’t know how my roommates didn’t wake up honestly. And I don’t know how we kept power the whole time. I was clutching my iTouch waiting for the lights to go out.

The sun is out and shining now, but I can see more dark purple rain clouds in the distance. Looks like we'll be in for another fun filled evening. I think I'm going to start taking NyQuil before I go to bed.

PS: ~~25. Eat corn on the cob~~

Thought this was neat! My parents, or someone, used to tell me God was bowling.

Uh, baaaaackspaaaace!

2011-05-26T12:59:00.004-03:00

All of the things I have to write about today are locked up in my head and don’t seem to want to come out. Whether because I am terrified of what could happen if released or whether I really believe they’re irrelevant. Only time will tell. I’ve been catching up on one of my favorite blogs Chelsea Talks Smack. I love her stuff but it always makes me very reflective and thoughtful. Sometimes too much so. Tomorrow I know I will be like, “Whaaaa was I thinking? Damn sentiment. Quit pulling my heart strings already!” Therefore to save you all from a possible word vomitorium, without further ado (and drum roll please)...

MY SUMMER GOAL LIST.

Summer goal lists are…classic. Everyone makes them and they’re always the same: full of a redonkulous amount of things that we already do every summer and are just extremely missing due to copious amounts of snow and ice and extreme sun withdrawal. Then the rest of the stuff we throw in there, the spark of our own individuality, is usually either insane, improbable, likely not going to happen or something we’ve strived towards our entire lives but haven’t got around to doing yet.

And all that doesn’t make them any less damn fun to write up. So cheers people.

50 Things to do This Summer

1. Go on a picnic
~~2. Watch a sunset~~
3. Build a bonfire
4. Sing karaoke
~~5. Make a new friend~~
6. Learn how to drive a standard
~~7. Kiss a boy~~
8. Blow bubbles
9. Fly a kite
~~10. Put my feet in the ocean~~
11. Watch a sunrise
12. Write a book
~~13. Eat campfire food~~
14. Lose 15lbs
~~15. Get drunk off tequila~~
~~16. Go camping~~
~~17. Light a ton of sparklers~~
18. Play a video game, and win
19. Fall in love
20. Play mini golf
21. Get a pedicure
~~22. Make an elaborate sand castle~~
~~23. Go star gazing~~
~~24. Run barefoot through the grass~~
~~25. Eat corn on the cob~~
~~26. Go see fireworks~~
27. Go bridge jumping
28. Read a book on the front porch
29. Jump into a swimming pool with all my clothes on
30. Complete my summer video
31. Pick a bouquet of flowers
~~32. Get a wicked tan~~
33. Do a cartwheel
34. Make mimosas
35. Go down a waterslide
36. Buy a dream catcher, just because
~~37. Walk barefoot on the beach~~
~~38. Ride on a boat~~
39. Play washer toss
40. Go fishing
~~41. Grow something from the ground~~
42. Go swinging
43. Set up a bird feeder
44. Run beside a train just to see who’s faster
~~45. Go on a road trip~~
46. See the Cabot trail
47. …any other suggestions? MUST BE SOMETHING AWESOME/CRAZY!

Ya. I already started. Wrote the friggin list in my journal last week.

-Bow-

"That would be my gatorade bottle."

2011-05-25T15:29:00.001-03:00

Okay it’s official. Nothing is funnier than the men at my work making PA announcements. I’m pretty sure somewhere they are all taking bets on whether or not someone will dare say something vulgar/ridiculous/hilarious. God love them. They make my day that much more bearable.

Also Easter egg M&M’s are GOOD. Thanks, Mom!

Last night was another gym excursion. Running around the track was a little bit easier this time and I found out that working with a barbell is much easier than working with those stretchy bands. SCREW YOU stretchy bands. Or maybe it’s just because my muscles did all their initial “you worked out for the first time and killed us” bitching over the weekend and now they are done complaining. (Let’s hope so!) Thursday we are doing a special ‘Body Pump’ session which is sure to kick my ass. I like having a trainer though. Honestly, nothing motivates me to jog around a track like someone periodically looking me in the eye saying “I want you to push it this lap.” And then making me do stairs.

I sort of heart him.

Exciting news tonight, I have been invited for a ‘Surf and Turf’ evening of extravagance at Jamie’s mother, Kate’s house. She lives about 30 min away on the BEACH and apparently she’s making lobster and steak. NOM NOM NOM MARRY ME KATE NOM.

I also met Scott’s mom last night (she is visiting from Ontario for the week) and oh my gosh is she not the spitting image of him. They are adorable. She is such a tiny little thing! And so sweet. She asked me all about my job and education and life. And then the three of us watched the, you guessed it, Jays game! And the comments her and Scott were making just killed me.

So after work we are all piling into Scotts car and driving out there. I AM EXCITED. I WANT TO LEAVE WORK NOW.

CHOCOLATE M&M’s MAKE YOU HYPER.

Thursday night will be another gymtastic evening and Friday I am looking forward to a little girl time with my new PH friend, Amanda, who has recently moved to my ‘hood’ as I like to call it. House-breaking in party. Woop, there it is.

Happy Wednesday!

PS: Just checked out: 'The Handmaid's Tale' by Margaret Atwood, 'Matched' by Ally Condie and '1984' on DVD from my local library. Has anyone read/watched these? What did you think?

canadian holidays = long weekend for ME

2011-05-24T16:13:00.001-03:00

Okay, the disappointment of there being no Ikea in Halifax has set in. Apparently my sister was playing an extremely mean joke on my spirits. Moving on…

Just got back from the long weekend and whew! TIRED WOMAN. Basically I hung out with my friends (a lot!), celebrated my #1 gals 23rd birthday, got told what to do by my mom, spent $700 on new rear wheel bearings (STUPID CAR), went to the market with my fawscha, attempted to see Bridesmaids (it was sold out), ate a delicious meal of BBQ and salad with my family, lit a crap load of sparklers, took my grandmother out to eat, went grocery shopping in my parents cupboards and spent $70 at Future shop replacing everything that was stolen from my car.

TA-DA!

Oh ya. My car was broken into last week. Yay for Port Hawkesbury! More points towards why I love you so.

Note to self: don’t leave rear door open.

Note Note to self: Don’t let boys sit in your backseat who forget to lock the doors.

I wonder if it’d be cool to take my bra off at work. IT REALLY HURTS. It’s being super uncomfortable for some reason and Gaaaaah. I have a little over an hour left. I think when it gets to the hour mark I am gonna lose it. Be prepared boys. The girls are coming out!

Pleasant surprise: got back to PH yesterday to find our hay field of a lawn mowed! YAAAAAY. No longer bee central (goodbye dandelions). I got my TV set up in my bedroom and it’s just like being home now, I have gotten my room the way I want it. Pictures to come…be excited.

Recent life goals: Find a park and go all out swinging. Plant some daisies. Take off this bra. Make banana bread.

Ohhh so this weekend here’s a little update for yas: Matt came up to stay overnight for the party. Here’s me and the Robler trying to go home to my house at the end of the night and my friend Dan is all “Come to my house my parents are not home blaah blaaah we will party more” (Yeah, some of us still live at home, we are young kaaay) So we end up there, 20 min later all I want is to go home and cuddle in my bed! And Dan SUPER AWKWARDLY asks Matt if he is going home with me when I’m not in the room with them. Matt is like “I don’t know, if she’ll let me.” I am so so tired of boys and annoyingness. When you’re 22 relationships are NOT rocket science people. You like someone or you don’t, and they like you or they don’t. Sometimes you’re lucky enough to find someone you like who likes you back. DONE.

Matt who so clearly likes another girl is now trailing along to my house. Gaaah. SO TIRED OF IT. I actually left my bed in the morning hours and slept on the couch upstairs instead. I think I’m officially over it.

My roommates favorite movie is Wedding Crashers, so I made sure to bring my copy from home for him. Now there's the real problem, my friends.

The Suburbs

2011-05-19T14:22:00.010-03:00

I HAVE ENTERED THE LAND OF SKYPE! I FEEL MIGHTY!

Only took me about 2 hrs to get it set up (and my roommates help..) uh but it turned out good I got to talk to my sister for the first time in too long. Then she tells me there’s an IKEA in Halifax. :| WHY HAS NO ONE TOLD ME THIS BEFORE. I was only in Halifax for the past TWO weekends chillin in a hotel room. Now I am craving my first IKEA trip. And so is my bedroom.

Except I’m trying this new thing this summer: not buying a ton of stuff. Partially because I’m feeling very frugal lately and partially because there are no actual stores other than walmart within a 50 km radius of where I live. Either way I might just go to IKEA and come out with a chair that I’ll have to strap to the hood of my teeny car. I’ve been awaiting the ‘Great Move Out’ for many years now and I have been collecting things I will take with me during my life.

Shortlist:
• porcelain acorn from my ma
• yellow rabbit bedside lamp
• wooden food trays
• wooden owl statue
• pictures framed in my room
• multiple baskets for holding things
• my map of the USA
• POLLY FUCKING POCKETS (it’s all for you future lil Tyler)

However, I do have an opening in the collection. The giant wooden owl I got from zellers on sale back when I worked there. For years I thought it was wooden with metal. Then it fell off my bed when I was packing and smashed. Apparently, it was some crazy heavy ceramic. So unfortunately it died.
Funny side note: when you Google ‘owl zellers’ not only does a picture of it come up BUT it is MY picture from a previous blog post. HA. (Ya. That was my room all pink and zebra-ey. It’s brown now KAY..)

I’m supposed to get paid tomorrow which is cool cuz I’m po. Paying rent SUCKS. Especially when your house has BUGS IN IT. Ya. Super gross. Three of them. Three bugs so far I’ve seen. 3 weeks I’ve been at the house. (Just to clarify all three were silverfish, I sort of got carried away with the spider pictures...)

The dreaded silverfish.

Less frightening than the ear wig, more frightening than the spider.

Well atleast that was before I googled spider and found this disturbing shit! THANKS ALOT GOOGLE.

(Sorry Whit)

Either way GROOOSSSSSS. I just keep reminding myself that this is not my house and I have no real over-abundance of possessions in it which will get infested. AHHH I just said infested. Also I’m trying not to tell my mom because she will either freak out and make me move somewhere else for the summer or she’ll never let me set foot in our house again.

Personally I think its super disgusting. I have never lived in any house with bugs (cuz I’ve always lived at home and we just didn’t do bugs). But now that I live with two guys and the house isn’t exactly stunningly clean I am not really surprised. Apparently silver fish like damp, humid spaces (we live ten feet from the ocean in a 110 yr old house) and they eat sugar/carbs and paper products. I found two in the bathroom. And breath. One in the pantry on MY shelf under MY box of cereal. This morning I saw the second bathroom one and managed to kill it as it ran out from under the toilet paper roll I picked up that it was likely eating. Gross. Shudder.

Anyways, plan of action: Tell my land lady. Demand she hire the cleaning lady I was promised. Put everything I own in the pantry in a Rubbermaid container.

Awwww ya!

2011-05-18T08:39:00.001-03:00

Well it’s been another stunningly productive day here in my closet, I mean office. The bossman has been gone now for 2 days. He is gone for the next 3 weeks. This is going to be the longest 3 weeks ever. I have gotten as far in work as possible today but instead of being a keener and reading something which would make me smarter, I am not. I am just not in the mood this week like I was last week and the week before. I am dog tired… 2 visits to the gym after none for +6 months has taken its toll on my bod.

I am enjoying the Y however (cuz as crappy as the gym is, there is nothing else to do in Port Hawkesbury!) and last night planned on joining. Instead, ‘Kevin’ aka Gym instructor hottie! Suggested I sign up for a personal fitness class he and another trainer lead. They began this week and apparently a chick dropped out after the first day :|. Monday and Thursday for 8 weeks 6-8pm $125 will get me the class, along with a gym membership and get this, a FREE 6” sub from subway every day of the 8 weeks.

This class is supposed to be not only a wicked powerful training class but they will take time to teach us about nutritional facts and healthy diets. Kevin (he is so dreamy) looked me in the eye and told me it was a privilege that he’d asked me to join because he knew of other people who had been on a waitlist (probably lies, but he has such pretty eyes!) and that I must promise to eat well and come to the gym at least once a week apart from his class (how could I say no to him???).

Also a plus the winner (there are 5 of us) aka the person who loses the most weight/inches(?) will win a free 1 year YMCA membership, and second place will win a free 4 months (which is about as long as I will be in PH, bonus!). So now I am motivated to win, cept these other chicks have got a 4 day head start. Biatches! I am going to enjoy a final meal at some point before my weigh in from McDo and drink as much water as possible the day of so maybe I will bloat an extra few pounds, muahaha.

Oh. Ya. The class. So 30 min is dedicated to cardio. They have a separate track where we will be jogging/running and doing stairs (pictures the biggest loser workout, male and female trainers yelling encouragement at you included) 30-60min working with bands, kettle bells and weights and time for life lessons at some point I guess. I am the youngest in the group. Hope I do ok! Lol. Apparenty the last chick that won lost 22lbs. I think I can trounce her.

Wish me luck.

For What It's Worth

2011-05-16T16:52:00.002-03:00

Work kills me. Bottom line. Sometimes in a good way. Sometimes in a bad way. When it’s good, I work so hard but it feels good and I enjoy it. When it’s bad I am still working so hard except it doesn’t feel good.

It feels frustrating and pointless! It makes me feel so stupid and question if this is the right career path for me and whether or not I can actually do it or will I just fail. I have visions of my boss saying “You don’t got the stuff, kid.”, and it is terrifying.

Then the really awful part is you want to do better but you can’t even function properly because you’re muscles have all tightened up and your worried face is stuck there and you get shaky and headachy and just think IT’S POINTLESS! I CAN’T DO IT! Side note: Plus of working at Lepreau, there were lots of woodsy walking paths I could take off on without anyone questioning me and have an all-around good emotion vent. Or, in case of serious emergency, I could call up my sister and get talked off the ridiculous ledge that I’d strayed to.

Sometimes I think I should have done something different. My mom told me once that one of her biggest regrets was that she didn’t get to do her ‘dream job’. Funnily enough, the career path she divulged to me that day that she’d always wanted to pursue, unknowing to her answer, is also my dream job: An archeologist. An anthropologist. Whatever you want to call it. I picture myself, as she did, as someone to go out on adventures finding things, traveling to far off places, exploring the past and history and culture and using my hands as well as my head. Wearing cut off khakis and loose button up shirts and bucket hats and constantly meeting new people.

Sometimes I think, if I work in the industry for a few years, I can make some money. You know everyone thinks engineers have such a fantastic salary. They really don’t. A base engineering job will probably get you in the high $50,000 a year. Maybe $58,000 if you’re lucky. And I know that’s nothing to snub at either but still it’s not that high.

I just don’t know. I think someday soon I will jettison off and go exploring in Egypt or someplace. 1 more year of school left and I still feel like I don’t know anything. Who would hire me? Would I hire me? When there are so many more kids out there who are sickeningly BRILLIANT while I am merely mediocre.

Is there such a thing as a quarter-life crisis?

GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. (insert screaming face of choice here.)

(Later that day…)

I think I just had a slight panic attack. But I am better now. Spoken in a British accent ala Everafter (I fell off a ladder in the orchard, but I am better now)

Only 30 more minutes of work which I plan on completely squandering here, on twitter, talking out loud to myself, texting and most importantly eating stale licorice. Schedule for tonight: get home from work. eat. make tomorrows lunch. go to gym. get ass kicked. shower. go to bed. wake up. repeat til insane.

THANK GOD FOR LONG WEEKENDS. Let’s all cross our fingers that the Rapture is not going to happen on Saturday, but if it does I will likely be snuggled next to the people I LOVE cuz I’m going home for 4 days. YAY, YAY, YAY, YAY! I miss all my girly friends, my boyish friends, my kitties and my parents so much! I’m definitely a little homesick. And I miss my house. And my backyard. And my neighborhood. And my BED.

I watched Benny and Joon last night. Young Johnny Depp is hot. And spry.

PAYCE.

big stop hangover breakfast is good

2011-05-15T13:58:00.005-03:00

Two nights of drinking later and I think I have properly bonded with my roommates. However my liver is not talking to me.

Friday night was pomegranate vodka (you know the one) and the Jays vs the Twins. Last night was Long Island Iced Tea...and....the Jays vs the Twins. Scott is actually getting me into baseball. Never thought that would happen.

I am popular apparently, I have gotten two numbers already since moving here. Baam.

Shauna and Amanda. Ohhhh yeaaaaaaah. But in all seriousness it's nice to have some possible girl friends here. I'm also contemplating joining the local YMCA here. It's fairly inexpensive and in walking distance from my house. There's a public pool in the building next to it that has lap swim and such and I could get a membership to both places for about 60 bucks a month, which is not too shabby. I went to the Y yesterday. The gym kills me. Elliptical, my old friend, my legs have not missed you. Family Guy is slowly becoming my favorite show. Ps I am totally not maybe a little deny til you die crushing on my roommate. After Colin I have invoked a strict policy on not making things awkward. So NO. Nooo. NOOO.

But he is really hot. And his personality is deceptively flirty. It messes with my MIND. And we might have sort of almost slept in the same bed Friday. Cept I got outta there and went to my own bed because I am smart and have learned that lesson. DON'T SHIT WHERE YOU EAT PEOPLE. Anywaaays, as always I will keep it honest on my blog and keep you properly updated. I definitely still miss Matt a lot too though. Braaaaaaaaaaaaaah.

mambo #5

2011-05-10T17:44:00.000-03:00

For your visual pleasure I have creeped photos of my roommates.

Jamie

Scott

Unfortunately neither of them is him....

Uh so what has been going on, it has been an exciting past few days! One of my sorority sisters and good
friends just got married this past weekend. 5 of us girlies all converged to be there for her on her special
day, and let me tell you, it was special. I cried about…6 times. Here is a pic of the happy couple at the
reception.

Congrats guys!

Sunday I booted it to Halifax for another lovurly stay at the fancy Prince George Hotel (Thanks work!). I
decided to venture from my hotel room and ended up at the movie theatre! I went in and saw Thor. All.
By. My. Self. Hahaha, I told my friend and he was like: “Noooo! You are officially old.” Well, I guess at
22 it is official. I’ve never gone to a movie by myself before but it was pretty fun. I got to sit wherever I
wanted and I had lots of space! I ate a giant amount of buttery popcorn guilt free (NOM NOM NOM) and
I got really into the movie. O.K. As into the movie as I could possibly get. Mostly I was just staring at the
hotness of his body. As Homer Simpson drools for donuts, I drool for Thor.

This week’s goals: 1. Do laundry; mamma needs showering towels. 2. Find this swimming pool you’ve
been hearing so much about. 3. Cook a decent meal; PB&J is GROSS. 4. Finish gathering my lovely friend
Whitney’s birthdaaaay present!

I live the life of a wild man, I tell ya.

schools out for summer soooo i can blog again now

2011-05-04T19:54:00.008-03:00

For some reason I have this thing where I can’t announce something big before it happens without getting this horrible stomach feeling. I convince myself that if I announce it all proud and stuff that I’d be completely jinxing myself and then somehow it wouldn’t happen. So here I am. I have been a silent blogger waiting with baited breath to ensure my new adventure...

And well I guess it has happened: I. Have. Moved.

Yah. Moved moved. Out of my parents’ house and out of my hometown, for the first time in my life. (Someone’s growing uuuup) I was offered a summer job placement with Nova Scotia Power at Point Tupper Power Plant (see below) which is where I am now working as sort of an assistant to an instrumentation/controls technical specialist.

So to summarize I moved out and I’m working at another power plant for the summer.

What else?

I sort of started writing...a...book (?). I have like 6 pages, which is nothing. But I guess you could call it a start. I love love love writing. And FYI, you all will never ever read it. Ha! Maybe. Maybe someday...if I become a really famous and rich author ALA Stephanie Meyer (yaaaa rigggghhht).

Uh, I live with two boys in a 110 year old house which so far does not seem haunted, which is a plus. One of them is a 30 something "DJ"/computer nerd, Jamie, who I don't think has ever been even a little bit layed and the other is a 22 yr old paramedic named Scott who is constantly watching baseball or playing baseball video games, sometimes leaves pee in the toilet and enjoys eating my bagels. Gooooooood times.

They are very nice guys tho, so it could be worse. Nonetheless you'll most definitely be hearing my rants about them here

Aaaaand that's enough for now.

Lovelies <3

Are You Satisfied?

2011-03-15T12:48:00.000-03:00

In an effort to return to my bloggy roots, I have lowered myself to writing blog posts, ON paper in class. This has nothing at all to do with how mind-numbingly bored I am. Currently I'm sitting in controls class chowing down on a seriously large (and might I add delicious) bowl of meat chili.

You ever get that feeling that lots of stuff is going on, but then you keep finding yourself bored, doing nothing? How does that happen? Is this like some internal subconscious self sabotage? I'm having a real hard time staying on track. And I find myself reaching out for attention, boy attention. BAD boy attention. Texting Colin and TA man, when I know I should be doing neither. I think I might possibly be brainwashed. How do I become one of those people who end up scaling mountains or trekking through the jungle in sturdy hiking boots that are molded to their feet.

I want to join the ranks of the adventurous. Travel, but not just travel...live elsewhere, somewhere a full 180 from where I am now. I want to get out, be adventurous, learn how to do things like hunt, survive off the land, shoot a bow and arrow. I want to be Rachel Weisz in The Mummy. I want exotic hair like that blond chick in The Last Air Bender, hair that is colored and strange but somehow fits. I want to learn to sword fight, do karate, be able to defend myself in a fight. I WANT ALL MY FANTASIES TO COME TRUE. (Don't we all?)

Ever think about what would happen if the world should end apocalypse style, or zombie nation, or germ warfare? Would you be one of those few survivors? I would want to be. I think my favorite books are those depicting post-apocalyptic worlds. Not that I want the world to end or anyone to die, obviously. Let's play this hypothetical. If it did happen. Where would you be? Who would you become. Would you be strong enough. I want to be.

Are you satisfied with an average life ?

shock face

2011-03-13T15:56:00.000-03:00

just like to say I have amazing friends. lurv you all long time.

OHHH ya let's write a blog ya

This march break I've gotten drunk 3 times, gone out of town, seen a whole lot of family, applied for summer jobs, done homework, got surprise text messages from a person long past and worn alot of pajamas. Good times.

Future plans: get a job, finish homework, go grocery shopping, see a whole whack of movies

26 things that if you're really bored you'll read about me: from A to Z (from axe to....zee other axe)

Age: 22

Bed size: Double

Chore you dislike: Vacuuming = the devil

Dogs: Want one, or two, or many. Not 100% sure. We'll see how big my property is when I'm all grow'd up. But I know I want a BIG lovable dog that can pull me down the street if it wants to.

Essential start to your day: A good pee.

Favorite color: um um sky blue right now I'd say

Gold or silver:WHITE gold actually

Height: 5'11" BAM

Instruments you play(ed): Flute, for like a week

Job title: STUDENT MO FOCKER

Kids:a plenty. And they better not be like the kids on Nanny 911 or someones gonna geta hurt real bad.

Live: Fredericton baby

Mum’s name:Diane

Nicknames: T-fraser, T-frase, T-pain, you name it.

Overnight hospital stays: none to date

Pet peeves: people who stand too close to you in the grocery store line, PERSONAL SPACE BITCH!

Quote from a movie:

Righty or lefty: Righty

Siblings: Brother and two sisters and multiple sorority sisters

Time you wake up:7ish

Underwear: that is personal!

Vegetables you don't like: lima beans, green beans, baked beans. i dont like beans!

What makes you run late: I'm a slow getting ready-er

X-rays you’ve had: Teeth, back, left foot/ankle

Yummy food you make: taco salad to kill

Zoo animal favorites:zebras, or FISH!

private

2011-03-09T13:19:00.000-04:00

I live at home. I'm not happy. I don't live at home. I'm not happy. I have things to do, I just don't want to do them. What makes you want to do things?? I escape into books, movies, tv shows, food. It makes things seem, better I guess. There's no more support in my house hold. My mom won't even leave her bedroom. Everything is shit. I don't know what to do. I really don't.

how does it feel

2011-02-14T16:01:00.001-04:00

<p>&amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;br&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;ss&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;amp;gt;&amp;amp;amp;lt;/p&amp;amp;amp;gt;</p>

Hai urbody. Is anyone else finding today extremely depressing? I pretty much would like to become president of the "I Hate Valentine's Day" Club.

I am one of those rare people who've never had the real valentine's day experience. Even when I was dating someone during, just didn't get that specialness. Special is special. And I seriously feel like I'm missing out. All of you who have someone who loves you and who you love, please realize how lucky you are.

This is kind of a combination post: Semi I like this guy but it's extremely complicated (like building the Eiffel tower out of foam puzzle pieces complicated) slash V-day is depressing me because I want to be spending it with him and I’m not.....(QUICK! SOMEBODY CALL THE WAAAH-MBULANCE!)

Like I said in the last post, I have a crush. It's a dangerous, dangerous, winner of ‘most-likely to crash and burn’ crush. (So, in other words, a typical Tyler Fraser crush.) It has also now fully developed; it's out of diapers, passed its angsty teen years and is now a fully-fledged bad ass of a mother.

I really, really tried. I really tried not to go there. Not to like him. I had myself convinced for awhile, the odds are so against it, that I didn't. But then all of a sudden I'm cautiously flirting, unable to stop myself, smilingly accepting the drink he’s made me at his party. Next thing you know I'm passing out in his bed with him, even though I know I shouldn’t and I'm fairly sure he does too. But not a thing happens and the night is brushed off as a fluke.

The next night I go over to do some studying but instead we end up watching Paranormal Activity 1 and 2. Still being very cautious, we don't touch eachother.

Monday comes, we talk, we act like everything is normal, like there isn’t something ripping in my stomach to jump him where he stands. But I am wearing a new outfit and feeling confident. The game is beginning to get really fun.

He asks me to come on Friday's pubcrawl. (At this point I am pretty much swooning, my head is spinning and he is clouding my brain of all self preservation. So I go. I have an amazing time. He invites me back to his place again. Everything up to this point is so innocent, and I think that is the true beauty of it. I like him, I think he likes me.I think he thinks I like him too. But neither of us has really shown anything towards each other. We both know it's wrong because he is my TA, and he is a good friend, and we've known each other for so long and nothing like this has come close to happening between us before (for good reason, he dated a friend of mine for 3 years until she broke up with him 4 months ago for another guy) and he is already dating another chick he met at New Years that I actually introduced him to! (Welcome to the complication that is my life) But in spite of it all we end up at his house with two other friends in tow. We order pizza and settle in to watch Knocked Up on tv. This time throwing caution to the wind he puts his arm tightly around me while I lean on his warm chest, watch the movie and munch on pizza.

So naturally, no words need to be spoken, I follow him into his bedroom when it’s time to sleep. Except we don’t sleep. Not for a while. The non-touching barrier is down and I can feel him behind me, his arm wrapped tightly around my stomach. And my skin is an electric current, buzzing, as the night progresses.

Finally sleep wins out over all.

Morning. No longer able to dream sweetly because now that I am awake and the glitter of the night before seems faded, all I can do is think about what lines have just been crossed, what it means and what's going to happen...

Sup.

2011-02-07T23:33:00.000-04:00

HI hi hi!

I have swing dancing class tomorrow. I am going on a winter adventure this weekend. AND!

I have a new crush. Bonafied. I don't know what to say about it. Some of you might guess him. Some might not. A release of name will not be happening until I am 100% comfortable with it. BAAAH I don't know what to do with my life I am too ridiculous. You always want what you can't have, right? Or can you have it.... :D....let high school mind games ensue.

Tfrase out.

zzzzzzzzzz

2011-02-04T00:06:00.001-04:00

so i bought that new fancy book for christmas, and decided it would be perfect as a dream journal. it has been sitting beside my bed for about a month now. i've been waiting for the perfect dream to be the first entry.
last night i dreampt that i was HEATH LEDGER's gf. Except he had really long wavy hair in a ponytail down to his ass and he was wearing a suit. and then colin was there and he was giving me a goldfish.

ladies and gentlemen, i think we have a winner!

also, had an epic weekend. any night that ends up with you and your best friends jumping up and down on the dancefloor together while passing around a full bottle of merlot that was snuck in is going to be a good night.

Hola hola hola back ya'll

2011-01-30T18:21:00.000-04:00

I wasn't here, but I am getting back into the swing.

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii'm baaaack!

merry christmas to me....

2010-12-23T00:15:00.001-04:00

This year my immediate family decided to forgo buying Christmas presents for each other. Unintentionally, I ended up being my own Santa Claus...poor little credit card. It didn't know what hit it.

Lace Throw

Wicked lil bathing suit

Leather gloves (Mine were black)

Fooler Sweater

New dress for New Years (don't mind the floating dust specs)

Cute cover sweater

Excellent wooden photo frames

This beautiful leather journal

And my personal favorite...

Satchel bag from Roots made of Tribe leather

Thanks Santa!

SURPRISE!

2010-12-20T14:08:00.001-04:00

-20SomethingBloggers.com Blog Swap 2010-
Hint: Click the image below to enlarge.

CHECK OUT HER BLOG: http://cornflakedreams.blogspot.com/

I have something to say

2010-12-12T21:54:00.003-04:00

After reading this blogpost (which I encourage you all to stop and read now), there are a few things I would like to get out.

I want to say, thank you.

Reminds me of something my mom always say, "It never hurts to say thank you to someone and let them know they are appreciated. Nothing bad ever comes of that."

True words momma. True words.

Warning the following may be extremely mushy and sentimental.

First: thanks mom. You are my rock (sooo cliche) and you selflessly take care of me. You are one of my best friends and you are ridiculous and strong and I love you.

Second: my best friend Whitney. How fortunate I was to meet this girl who I'd always wanted to be friends with in high school but never quite found the right time, who has become a soul mate and is a constant in my life I feel I can really depend on. She loves me despite my faults, my temper, my busy schedule, and my ridiculous boy fascinations. I look up to her, she is beautiful and determined and through good and bad is always herself. I can't wait to see where life takes us as we grow up together, get married and build families. I know it will be one hell of a ride <3

Oh gawd, ALL my other amazing friends who I am truly blessed to have met.
Robrob: You left a friggin gaping hole when you left, which I honestly wasn't expecting. I miss you, a lot. You are always there for other ppl and you tell it to them straight. You are ridiculous, awkward, and adorable. And a hot mamma when you want to be. You always listened to me pity party about boys, which I really appreciate, and give me good advice. You are my bestest drinking buddy. Lurv you long time.
Jojo: Took awhile for us to get there, or maybe just for me to, but you have developed into someone I couldn't imagine not having in my life. You are so brave and you stand behind your convictions. You are a substitute mother to any one who is in need and you will be a great success in life. PS You are one sexy bitch.
Nicole: Whole hearted, selfless, tolerant, accepting, caring. A wicked party animal and someone who can be counted on. <3
Hutch: You live on a farm.

JUST KIDDING! Lol, I love you.
Ashley: You were there for me whenever I needed you. Thank you for being the person you are. I miss just being able to show up at your place, talk and watch movies. And I miss your drunken sexy dance. I hope you and Richie find all the happiness you both deserve and I am so happy for you guys.
Tmo: My lovely little model sweetheart. Always caring, always full of emotion and love and someone who is a hell of a time at a party :D

There are so many more I could write, thinking of you all in my head...it's hard to choose. My life has been touched by so many great women. I guess I will sum it up and just say Iota Beta Chi Sorority: All you sisters, you truly are my sisters and each and everyone of you has touched on my life at some point or another and I am truly honored and thankful I met you all.

I feel like this list is lacking in boys. I had a lot of guy friends in high school, and I ended up dating most of them. Hence, not so much friends anymore...
but there is one, Dan, and he won't read this but I love him dearly and I know he will always be my friend and we'll be old and moldy and eating ice cream on a dock somewhere. He is sensitive without knowing it, adorable and a great friend. We met in gr 6 and I was the first girl who danced with him at one of the dances and it was that that solidified his liking of me. He will never let me forget :) and I'm glad I did.

There are people missing from this list, or, person. Someone who will never read this but someone who stands out in my mind as a shining friend. Ok, none of you will know him (well maybe you Whitney) so I will just say it anyway, Mike Weale. He was one of my best friends in high school and I will always respect him and always quietly wish he would speak to me again and that we could be friends now, a little more grown up and a little more mature. Cuz I think we could be best friends again.

Finally, I'm going to say my sisters: Erica and Brittany. These two chickas are fantastically strong, intelligent ppl and we will always be on my same wavelength. Sisters go through stages: jealousy, annoyance, hate, tolerance, and inevitably become best friends. (Unless one of them is a total douche...then that just sucks) Haha, they are my girls, my always, my laugh, my heart, my ridiculousness, my inside joke, my drinking buddies, my movie cuddlers, my chatterboxes, my vent, my loves,

my trinity.

Oholycrap I just wrote a lot....of stuff. :| awkward face. OH WELL not deleting it.

POST

Ya ookaaaay

2010-12-12T08:39:00.001-04:00

Me and momma are going out SHOPPPPPING! Superstore and Shoppers Drug Mart. Whoa. Somebody stop the wild train.

BIG NEWS!

I won a free dvd from popcorn.

Yupp. It's that Orville popcorn where you heat up your bag and a message appears in this little box. Well it told me I won and it told me to write down a number and enter at this website. That was last night. Tonight, I'm sitting here waiting for my mother to actually be ready to exit the house, figured I would get it done. Took me three friggin websites and no less than 8 google searches to find the right one. The bag lied to me! Told me the website address for the old contest. Anyways, I managed. I got my free DVD, a choice of.... (drum roll please)

The Cat and the Hat
Nanny McPhee 2
The Tale of Desperaux.

We chose the mouse movie.

Erm well we just got back. I am tired now and we have lots of toilet paper. Biiiiiig day. I was very excited at the grocery store when we entered the frozen food section and there was this big hanging sign for Candy Cane Ice Cream: a holiday treat must and one of my personal favorites. I was however severely disappointed when, after mom and me searched for like 10 minutes, there was none to be found. SERIOUSLY upset. Stupid sign.

Oh I also put up our ourdoor christmas lights. We now have our tree up and decorated and our outdoors decorated, AND IT'S ONLY DEC 11th! This is a Fraser family miracle.

Back to studying.

YES

2010-12-09T22:52:00.002-04:00

This almost makes me as happy as the new kesha video. Almost.

And no I'm not being sarcastic.

if you're one of us, then roll with us

2010-12-08T20:57:00.000-04:00

I'm dreaming of....

an iPad.

(completely impractical for me but totally awesome still)

-20lbs.

(ya, doesn't everyone)

it be snowing

2010-11-27T19:33:00.000-04:00

Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, boom boom!

sitting around at home watching the buried life, wishing there were old school christmas movies on. can i get a little claymation? please?

sooooo the holidays have arrived with a bang. maybe i should take the pumpkins off my deck. erm, whatdya think.

this is my beautiful backyard. SNOW SNOW SNOW.

tonight i am going to an old fashioned slumber party. that's right, SLUMBER PARTY. also, it's a sorority slumber party.
wow, that just hit me. sorority. slumber party. cue flash to naked pillow fight scene..awwwkwaaaard.

Annny ways, I made this at school. BAM. (btw, it's a power supply. see that big thing? that's a transformer. wound it myself. yupp.)

Gotta go to the dollar store for some goooooodies! Enjoy your weekends.

tis the season

2010-11-21T10:18:00.000-04:00

Relationships

2010-11-17T23:42:00.009-04:00

There is no black and white. There is no constant. People change all the time. Something triggers deep down and there’s a shift. Hormones decreasing or chemical signals accelerating. It isn’t tangible or predictable. But it happens, and it happens all the time. You can’t blame it, because there is nothing that could have been done to stop it. There’s no one to put blame to.

Can we really believe there is this “one true love” that exists out there? We are supposed to find them…it’s the ultimate goal, right? So, what about the guy/girl you are with now. Are they the one. Can you tell? Is there a feeling inside? If it’s there, will it last? If it’s not, will it come. Would you bet your life on it? What then. What if you know they’re not but you cling to them none the less? Perhaps you are their one, and you merely treat them as a stepping stone. Is it therefore wrong to continue to be with them? To prolong the inevitable, because really you’ve already subconsciously decided. Should the other be content with what portion they have, or will it all inexorably end in chaos on both sides.

And then, what if you and the other party both know you will never be more than you are right now, which could be barely anything but what it is, is something. Do you continue for the sake of continuing regardless of the fact that the ultimate goal will never be achieved and that this might in fact be impeding such an occurrence.

How many is too many. Where do we draw that moral line?

Is it worth it to remain in limbo. Is it worth the short good and the predictable bad. Those who aren’t getting what we all know they deserve, because everyone knows you deserves the best. Isn’t that what we all tell each other?

You could do better.

Don’t settle for anything less.

He’s not the one for you.

The truth is, there is no line. We’re all utterly selfish and self fulfilling, even if we don’t realize it. We all want that something to cling to, to have, to give us what we need. Sometimes it hurts us and sometimes we hurt it. Regardless, it remains. That want. That need. To have. And to what end?

What is it more self damaging? To persist in a relationship with such bleak potential or to remain alone until the day arrives….if it arrives at all.

I talk to Gary, we talk. Sometimes I tell him to go away and sometimes I just want him to hold me and I don't know why. I don’t see this person. We don’t fit into each others lives. Yet here we are, closing in on a year since we first met. We’ve seen each other merely 3 times. We don’t fit. Why are we still talking? I don’t really like him, do I? I don’t see him. I don’t know him. You can’t know someone through a phone. Then why does it go on. It’s fruitless and sometimes it hurts for no reason at all. But it continues. For both of us. We cling. We’re clinging. But is it wrong? And if it’s not then why is it making me think like this? Why is my brow furrowed.

“These are the things we want. Simple things. Comfort, sex, shelter, food. We always want them and we want them all the time. The id doesn't learn; it doesn't grow up. It has the ego telling it what it can't have and it has the superego telling it what it should want. But the id works solely out of the pleasure principle. It wants. Whatever social skills you've learned, however much we've evolved, the pleasure principal is at work in all of us. So, how does this conflict with the ego manifest itself in the psyche? What do we do when we can't have what we want?” -BTVS

So there are different. There are many. Here's a few.
The...
'I luv you' lover
'I love you' lover
'I LOVE YOU' lover
'I love you more than you love me' lover
'you love me more than I'll ever love you' lover
'I can't love you' lover
'I can't stand you' lover
'circumstance' lover
'rebound' lover
'jealous' lover
'great sex' lover
'cheating' lover
'expected' lover
'wounded' lover
'settling' lover (check)

it's looking to be about that time again....

2010-10-16T12:22:00.001-03:00

aaaaaand this is what I do while I'm studying to keep sane

I'm sitting at school in a delightfully empty computer lab reading over and making notes concerning my upcoming midterm this Monday. I didn't get to go to the kegger (sad face) due to an overrunning CMPE lab last night which I didn't get home from until about 7:30pm, and which effectively turned my brain into mush. So emotionally stunted and drained I opted for a little R&R, watching a few eps of Dead Like Me, eating some smart pop and reeces and reading American Psycho in the bathtub. Looking forward to next weekend, where I will make my own kegger god dammit.

For those of you wondering, the colin issue has been dismissed. After thinking long and hard I decided that bothering to be facebook friends with him was not really something I wanted, or would benefit me. But being curious about his intentions I instead sent him a casual msg reading: "Sup? I see I was defriended, again huh" Thinking I would get some form of reply along the lines of "yea colleens nuts" or "i'm coming to fredericton this weekend", something to explain his sudden interest. I instead get no reply and mysteriously the friend request disappears. Can friend requests be revoked by those who make them? Curiouser and curiouser I check his account seeing that the msg I'd sent had been deleted and the friend request was there no more, meaning either he changed his mind (completely possible), or else his gf (who also knows his fb password) signed his account up to her Blackberry (which would explain why he had that on his profile news feed even tho he doesn't own a blackberry) and the msg infact went directly to her phone instead where she proceeded to delete the friend request. Either way, I'm a free bird and that was the longest run on sentence ever. Ha! I am relieved. Let's all cross our fingers that well enough is left alone.

Halloween is coming! Need costume ideas...

Girl Scout?
Bank robber?
Greek Goddess?
Sheep.....?

Just a few of the ideas I'm tossing around right now. For some reason I'm leaning toward bank robber. I really want to run around with a stuffed burlap sack with a dollar sign on it. It's hilarious to me I don't know why, but it feels right.

If I were a boy I would dress up as Vincent Price. I just watched House on Haunted Hill. Not gonna lie, I was kinda scared.

Also I feel the need for some pumpkin carving and leaf pile diving!!!!

I fucking love Fall.

and just when things were looking...different

2010-10-14T21:20:00.002-03:00

bollocks bollocks bollocks.

today began as a normal lovely fall day. went to school, met up with some friends to work on an assignment (THAT'S RIGHT! I am making friends at school again.

SIDENOTE: sometime around second year I started rebelling against my fellow engineering classmates. decided i hated everyone and they were all annoying losers. kind of a bitch? yea, sort of. I would choose to sit by myself with headphones and a book rather then make "forced" small talk. I don't really understand it now but apparently 16 months away working did me some good, cuz now you can't get me to shut up

One of the girls invited me to go to GEEKCHIC BOUTIQUE downtown with her cuz I'd never been, and we ended up going out to lunch at Dimitris (YUM!) and getting ice cream. we also hit the comic book store (beware of incoming nerdom) and i bought some new buffy books....umm quickly moving on, i saw a purdy lady at dimis :) Shout out to Mfizzle.

And I've been talked into going to my first EVER Electrical/Computer Engineering Kegger party...oooo I'm apprehensive! But kinda super excited to get slammed with my newly appreciated peers.

anywho, just a short, tiny recap there, what was i here for again?

oh ya. that.

caaaan anybody guess? ok. TWO guesses.

it has to do with a certain someone.

a certain someone who lives in saint john.

a certain someone who i thought out of my life for good.

a certain someone who i'd come to terms with having out of my life for good.

a certain someone who i'd already had my closure with.

yupp. you've guessed it. i got a facebook. friend request. from colin.

it popped up on my little innocent iPod screen as me and Tanya were in the parking lot. i heard the little 'bing', it just happened to be in my hand, and there it was, one friend request a la Colin Andrew Boyd. it actually stopped me in my tracks to the point where Tanya asked if I was ok. it was horrible, my stomach just completely sunk.

Tanya offered to steal my Pod right then and there and delete the request for me... but I said no. and now it's just sitting there all, requesty.

it's not the fact that he had the gall to re-add me.
it's not the fact that he deleted me just a few short weeks ago.
it's not the fact that it's been almost 50 days since our last night together and he's thinking about me now.
it's not that he is still in a relationship.

no. none of that compares.

it's the fact that i wouldn't let Tanya delete the request that is the most worrisome.

bring on the kegger.

les aventures de tyler

2010-10-12T21:45:00.002-03:00

NEW blog layout.

NEW bedroom.

NEW necklaces

& shoes

& headbands.

(keep a lookout for pictures)

Add new please!

womp there it is

2010-10-07T20:42:00.002-03:00

LISTEN TO THIS WHILE YOU READ. IT IS GOOD.

Well, it's been yet another lengthy stretch since my last decent blog. I know I said I would likely be blogging it up during my SJ visit last Friday....but I was pleasantly surprised when after his hockey game Gary asked to hang ten. Turned out to be a really good night :) Not only did I get to relax in my lovely friend Jojo's bachelor apt, but I got to eat TACO BELL, my favorite, twice in fact, for dinner Friday night and lunch Saturday....haven't felt right in the gut since but it was delicious and worth every bathroom minute AND watched Letters to Juliet and Get Him to the Greek AND hung out with ....and I say this tentatively... my....main man? Errr, good enough.

Worst moment of the trip (and possibly of life) I was watching tv in the am and I noticed that I hadn't seen or heard of Joanne's crazy cat in awhile. It wears this friggin loud bell on its collar and Jo's apartment is not that big, so I had searched the whole thing in about 30 seconds. No cat :| Getting frantic. I get dressed and start running the halls of the building wondering how and when the cat had escaped. I have not been that work up and upset in, I don't remember how long. Went back to the apt and searched again, running from room to room over and over in this sick and twisted loop of terror practically crying! Finally I check her office closet again. There's this giant stuffed bear in there and thinking that its not going to do any good I lift it up. And there, hidden underneath the effing bear, IN A BOX, was the stupid cat.

Minor heart attack had.

Still a busy with school! No one was lying when they told me third year was the hardest, faaaaalk.

Biggest issue right now: trying to put large .pdf files (books) on my iTouch so I can read them at school. That way I don't have to drag around another heavy book with me. Anyone have a good app for this? Tried GoodReader and it won't friggin work for my iTouch. Blasted iPhone aps only.

Does anyone have twitter???

2010-09-30T23:48:00.000-03:00

HI! Do any of you guys have twitter? If so...I want to follow you! I just got it...http://twitter.com/tyler_fraser

Night in SJ tomorrow, will likely do a proper blog :)

<3

You're aliiiiive!

2010-09-18T09:35:00.000-03:00

oh FUCK im losing followers

lol

Guess that's what you get when you don't blog for 4 weeks...

THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME others! So many things have changed, gone on, started, finished(?). My brain is all Aaaaaaaaahhh. Oh and now my cell phones dying. WELL ISN'T THAT JUST GREAT. Haha, phew....I'm ok, I swear.

I've been....busy.

Things at work are still wrapping up, doing some continued work for them still. It's AWESOME. Really. It's smart people stuff! Makes me feel S-M-R-T working alongside two Dr's in Electrical Engineering.

University is back in session and I am back with it! No more fulltime working gal for me. 16 month contracts up and so here I am bouncing around campus with a new sense of determination to succeed, some sharp looking eyewear and an armful of books.

The sorority I am President of, Iota Beta Chi, is also back in full swing. Pretty much every day I've been committing myself to one event or the other. September's recruitment month and that means a busy time for us gals :)

Aaaaand this year I have been asked to enter a volleyball team (of my very own!) into the cities +19 Co-ed indoor volleyball league! YEY! So for the last few weeks I've been getting a team together (I named us 'Sets On The Beach'....HAHAHA I crack myself up....) and first game is this Sunday. I could not be more excited WOOO. Love volleyball.

Boys have been kind of put on the back burner for me with everything else that's going on. I haven't had any contact with Colin, and I am really really ok with that. I think the closure thing was really needed and now it's like, back to reality. And sanity. Haha, gaaawd there are so many things that have happened in the past few weeks, I think only photographs will be able to tell all those stories...

Jojo and Ash

Tpain and the Robler

Shout out to Robyn, Joanne and Ashley, MISS YOU ALREADY COME VISIT AGAIN.
Like, now.

OH and I "renovated" my room, before and after pics to come.

(Smiling)

2010-08-29T15:20:00.001-03:00

I sit here, wind blowing my long curly hair off my face, sun-kissed shoulders exposed wearing my favorite summer dress, content.

For I have loved.

(Smile)

Thursday was our last day of work together, and by my previous blog, you all know I was clearly freaking. He left at 3:30 with Brendon. I didn’t make it out until 5. Reservations were for 5:30 and I had a 25 minute drive to make. After a quick get-ready session and some shots I was dropped off half hour late to a place I’ve never been. Butterflies? Yes.

I was welcomed boisterously by the boys when I walked in. A seat had been saved for me between my two favorites and I settled in quickly ordering a double long island iced tea, a poutine and a round of jager bombs.

Let’s just say that with the whole ‘being too nervous to eat at work’ thing I caught up to the boys pretty fast. 2 hours and some later we were all singing, dancing, laughing and joking at the table. It was then that an extremely inebriated Brendon leaned in and “whispered” that he’d talked to Colin about me, that Colin had told him everything (as I did) and that Colin had also told our other good student buddy Marc as well. Boy was I surprised. All this time, I’m thinking how sneaky we were being, and really, everyone who would have cared to at work knew all along. Hahaha, silly us.

By that point all secrets are being blown out the window and we’re freely speaking about the situation. It. Is. So. Liberating. And I am smiling with pride.

The plan was to go to Rockys after work.
The plan was to follow up at O’learys.
The plan was to drag our drunken hilarious asses to the local strip club around dawn.

The plan was to just fully enjoy a final night with my co-workers and then head back to my lovely friend Jojos apt for a good nights rest.

As the crowd begins to thin and people move along to the next stop Colin announces that neither I nor he will be following to the next venue.

Then we are the last sitting at the table as we bid Brendon good night. Then it’s just us and he’s staring at me smiling. And then we are kissing.

We pay, we leave, I’m taken by the hand and led a few blocks. We walk into the Delta and a room is booked.
The blurriest part of my evening, for certain, but I still remember perfectly, as we movie-style start making out in the elevator, arriving at the wrong floor twice before the bell boy waiting there suggests we try using the key to access our floor… I also remember saying thank you to him very politely. (Smiles)

We arrived at 11pm. We showered and hugged and kissed and loved and played and talked and confessed and bathed and slept together. We both knew what this was: our last song. There was no awkwardness, no secrets. Nothing left to hide of ourselves. We both gave into it and gave it all, like there would be no tomorrow, because, there wouldn’t be.

He looked in my eyes and told me he loved me. (all I’d been waiting for)

And I told him the same. He told me that he could marry me. That he could spend the rest of his life with me. He asked me if I would have moved in with him had I not been going back to school and had he not had her. I said yes. He told me how proud he was of me at work and the things I’d accomplished, how brilliant he’d found me to be and how much I’d surely succeed in life. He admitted his desire to someday go to university and become and engineer, like me, and I told him I’d always seen that ambition in him and that I thought it was beautiful.

Of the nine hours we spent together in that room little sleep was had. And the little that did was spent in each others arms. So much happened in that short instance. It felt as if time slowed, like the night was giving us more time together, allowing us to remain in our magical carriage without it reverting to its permanent pumpkin form.

It was one of the best nights of my life.

Inevitably, morning came and with it, bittersweet reality. I was due to work in Fredericton and needed to be on my way. We dressed each other for the final time. He assured me that this would not be the last we saw of each other, but I knew it would be, and I understand. We embraced and he shook my hand in farewell saying what a privilege it had been to work with me. I grabbed him by the collar and passionately kissed him one last time. And then it was goodbye.

We both knew what this was: our last song. And it was perfect.

I have loved.

(All Smiles)

LA FIN!

2010-08-26T15:09:00.001-03:00

Today’s the day. The last day. My last day of work with Colin, Brendon and Marc. 16 months. 16 long months at the power plant.

Seems like just yesterday I timidly walked in, sitting down at an empty desk and finding myself surrounded by men. I remember the tears I cried at night my first few weeks as I felt ignored, stupid and unworthy of those men I was now working for, and I remember when I gained their respect, friendship and my confidence as a woman in the workplace.

Faces are flashing by me now as I’m getting nostalgic. People who I’ve met along the way. People who I never thought I would miss, but without a doubt will. My heart is scary full of emotions, and not just because today will be the last day I spend with him. But because this is my life now, it is what I have become accustomed too, and I love it. I love this place and I love these people with all my heart.

I’m trying to be happy today, I’m trying to be at my happiest, but I guess I can only be what I am. I should stop trying. But I’m paralyzed over the fact that this is my final day with Colin, however foolish that is. My body is literally turning against me. I have been trying to eat my lunch for, oh, the past hour and 30 minutes. My stomach is saying "NO, there’s too much other junk in here, and it’s taking up all the space...". I want to be witty today and have funny chats with him and email conversations. Every time I run into him today, I freeze, smiling and awkwardly going about my way. Haha gawd he must think I’m a real catch today. Anyways, he made up this thing where we’re all going out tonight in SJ as a “goodbye to us students” work party. We’re going to this place called Rockys’; it’s a sports bar where they sell wings and the waitresses wear skanky outfits. I’ll be the only girl, so suck it up buttercup!

I cant even pity party myself right now, I just talked to my sister who gave me a huge boost of confidence and now I am ready to face the night! Her advice: be yourself. Be your happy, go-lucky self. Thanks sis <3. You are 100% right. No body likes a party pooper, SO fun-Tyler is coming outttttt. Whu whaaaaat? This is not a Tyler/Colin farewell party. This is a work party! With my work buddies. Whom I heart. AND the fact that I ate little to no lunch will just help me get drunk faster so PLUS!

I can’t believe this is it, back to the real world, eh. What am I gonna do tomorrow.

Well...it’s been a ride

Electrical Design Group - August 2010

Shout out to the best desk buddy ever! (other) Marc. Left for New Zealand last December.

**ps I have to change my blog description now……fraaaag.